Yellow Walls

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With cream flavored hands,
She rocks her child
In the yellow-lit room
With a lullaby wild.

And the yellow walls
Speak in softer tones
As the babe is weeping
Through its poor bones.
Last edited by timjim77 on Thu Jun 05, 2008 5:56 am, edited 2 times in total.




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i like the varied pace. Its slow until the end and then speeds up, it added more of an effect.

Also; lullabye should be lullaby.
Real poetry are those with the best words in the best order

~~~~~~~~Mandy~~~~~~~~~




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fix "lullabye" and fix the rhythm on this line:

Yellow seeps through its bones.


otherwise, it was very good. i didn't catch the entire meaning, i'm sure, but i enjoyed in nonetheless.
i suppose rhyming poetry is catching on more. this certainly is leaving me behind. :)
Carpe Diem.




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The "lullabye" was intentional, was it not? If I understood the poem correctly, it fits quite well.



Be steadfast as a tower that doth not bend its stately summit to the tempest’s shock.
— Dante Alighieri