Tonight

I’m sick of being pushed around
And they keep knocking me down
Well not anymore, I'm taking a stand

As their choke hold fails, see the world light up in fireworks (fireworks)
Tonight we’re flying free, as soon as night time falls
Don't hang your head, in defeat
Oh we’re sneaking out, oh we’re stealing cars
Your mum is freaking out, let’s ditch this shit hole...

Coz if you fall, I will catch you
And if you jump, then I'll jump too
We’re gonna laugh out loud
We're gonna wear our scars proud
Tonight

Tonight, as we fly free
Ohh, tonight, will you hold me?

I guess we’re so confused, that we can’t possibly choose
What’s right for us, what's wrong for us
But I know, that you can choose your path
And I know, that we can make this right
If they just give us the chance
Give us a chance

Coz if you fall, I will catch you
And if you jump, then I'll jump too
We’re gonna laugh out loud
We're gonna wear our scars proud
Tonight

Tonight, we will break free
Oh tonight, and you will see

That this ain’t all that’s left of us
This ain’t what’s all to life
We will find the rest us
And bring ‘em back to life

Tonight
I will catch you
Tonight
Or I’ll jump too
Tonight
We’ll laugh out loud
Tonight
And wear them proud
Tonight
We’re breaking free
(Breaking free)
Tonight!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

undeadbunnie wrote:Tonight

INTRO
Shut out
Locked in
You’re looking up
But they push you down
Helpless
Powerless
You try and try
But you lose control

VERSE
As their choke hold fails
See the world light up
Tonight we’re flying free
As soon as night time fa-a-alls
Oh we’re sneaking out
Oh we’re stealing cars
You’re mum is freaking out
Let’s ditch, this shit hole
-
Escape with music
Laugh for the kick
Daylight fading
In darkness I hold you

CHORUS
Coz if you fall, I will catch you
But if you jump, then I’ll jump too
They say its gay but it’s not the same
We’re gonna laugh out loud, wear our scars proud
Tonight

BRIDGE
Tonight, as we fly free
Ohh, tonight, will you hold me? Tonight

VERSE
I guess we’re so confused
That we can’t possibly choose
What’s right and wrong for us
They’re wrong, gonna make us fa-a-all
Oh they are so messed up
Oh they misconstrue
Only each other to trust
I know, it’s right for you
(to choose)

CHORUS
Coz if you fall, I will catch you
But if you jump, then I’ll jump too
They say its gay but it’s not the same
We’re gonna laugh out loud, wear our scars proud
Tonight

BRIDGE
Tonight, we will break free
Oh tonight, and you will see

That this ain’t all that’s left of us
This ain’t what’s all to life
We will find the rest us
And bring ‘em back to life
Tonight
I will catch you
Tonight
Or I’ll jump too
Tonight
We’ll laugh out loud
Tonight
And wear them proud
Tonight
We’re breaking free, breaking free, tonight!

don't you have any music? if you do, please do post a link to some site. )

undeadbunnie wrote:Tonight

INTRO
Shut out, locked in
You’re looking up
But they push you down
Helpless, powerless
You try and try
But you lose control

VERSE
As their choke hold fails
See the world light up
Tonight we’re flying free
As soon as night time fa-a-alls
Oh we’re sneaking out
Oh we’re stealing cars
You’re mum is freaking out
Let’s ditch this shit hole
-
Escape with music This line and the next line have no connection. Make sure there's at least a tenative connection between the two.
Laugh for the kick
Daylight fading
In darkness I hold you This is awkwardly phrased.

CHORUS
Coz if you fall, I will catch you
But if you jump, then I’ll jump too
They say its gay but it’s not the same This is really just personal opinion, but I don't like the usage of the word "gay" that comes synonymously with "stupid". It makes it look trashy.
We’re gonna laugh out loud, wear our scars proud
Tonight

BRIDGE
Tonight, as we fly free
Ohh, tonight, will you hold me? Tonight

VERSE
I guess we’re so confused
That we can’t possibly choose
What’s right and wrong for us
They’re wrong, gonna make us fa-a-all
Oh they are so messed up
Oh they misconstrue Too big and fancy of a word. Replace it.
Only each other to trust
I know, it’s right for you
(to choose)

CHORUS
Coz if you fall, I will catch you
But if you jump, then I’ll jump too
They say its gay but it’s not the same
We’re gonna laugh out loud, wear our scars proud
Tonight

BRIDGE
Tonight, we will break free
Oh tonight, and you will see

That this ain’t all that’s left of us
This ain’t what’s all to life
We will find the rest us
And bring ‘em back to life
Tonight
I will catch you
Tonight
Or I’ll jump too
Tonight
We’ll laugh out loud
Tonight
And wear them proud
Tonight
We’re breaking free, breaking free, tonight!

This seems very similar to "Skyway Avenue" by We The Kings. If my guess is correct, I'd advise revising it as to not offend other 'We The Kings' listeners.

The subject matter is utterly predictable, and there's no real end, no real arc. I'm not a fan of this. Sorry.

GRADE: D

Um not to be to rude but it wasnt that great.