Willow Creek 1.2

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Rated 16+ because this novel contains things you shouldn't do aka sex drugs and rock n roll. Sorry, I meant alcohol. :D


There was a splash as Shane disappeared into the murky water, the waves continuing to crash about the pier. I held my breath, before realizing that it had been a good twenty seconds or so since Shane had gone under. And he still hadn’t resurfaced.

Panic ran through my body as I stepped closer to the edge of the pier. “Shane!” I yelled out, my hair whipping around my face. I looked over to where everyone else stood. When Shane had dived in, the boys had cheered, the wind carrying their voices through the night air. Now they stood, like me, waiting for Shane to reappear.

“Shane?” I called again, petrified. “Fuck, Shane, it’s not funny!” I swore out loud, properly scared that something had happened.

I bit my lip. Minutes had now passed, and there was no way Shane was putting the joke on us. The ocean was too dangerous, too choppy, for him to have stayed under for so long.
So I dived in after him.

The salt stung at my eyes as I opened them, trying to see if I could spot Shane, spot anything. I pushed through the churning surf, feeling myself being tossed to and fro even this far under. I narrowed my eyes, in hope to see more easily.

A pale slither of the moon shone done down into the water, and I twisted my body around, looking under the pier.
There, by one of the wooden pylons, was Shane. A not moving Shane. I pushed myself through the water, trying to reach his lifeless figure. My lungs are burning, but I don’t dare open my mouth.

Reaching him, I tried to pull Shane up from his comatose position on the sea floor, not knowing how much time we both had until…

I saw another figure in the water, heading towards us. Daniel pushed down to meet us, grabbing Shane around the torso. Automatically Shane felt lighter, and I felt as if I could bring myself off the seabed and back to the surface.

We broke through the water, salty fresh air filling my lungs. I gasped for breath as we began the swim to shore. My lungs felt as if they were on fire and my legs were like paperweights, threatening to drag me down. Everything seemed to go silent around me, as if my ears had gone deaf from the amount of water in them.

Suddenly there was solid ground under my feet, and we dragged the limp figure of Shane as far up the beach as we could before both Daniel and I collapsed under his weight. I pushed myself up to a sitting position, hovering over Shane. My hearing came rushing back to me. All at once the sounds of the ocean, the shouts and calls of my friends, came crashing over me.

“Shane? Can you hear me? Shane?” My voice trembled. My hair fell over my shoulders, drips of salty water landing on Shane’s chest. I didn’t know what to do. He was just lying there, and I couldn’t even tell if he was breathing or not. Any first aid training I’d ever received had gone out the window when I’d downed that first bottle of beer. What was I supposed to do?

I felt someone’s arms wrap around me, and looking up I saw Daniel pulling me back off the ground.

“No! What are you doing?” I shrieked as Daniel tried to lead me away. I stared at him incredulously. “We can’t just leave him there!”

Daniel’s arm stopped me from trying to turn around and head back to Shane. “Halley, everything’s going to be okay. The paramedics are here now, they’ll take care of him.”
His words have me stumped, and I take a moment to look around.

Out of nowhere, the city’s paramedics had arrived, four of them swarming Shane on the beach as they try to revive him. Up in the parking lot bright, multicoloured lights flash about, signalling the ambulance and police service. I saw the others standing by the cars, silently talking to each other.

A blanket was thrown around my shoulders as soon as we stepped onto the hard concrete ground, the asphalt cool on the soles of my bare feet. Pulled out of Daniel’s arms, I was seated in the back of one of the ambulances, a man in green insisting he look me over to make sure I was okay. His lips kept moving, but the words never reached my ears. Behind him, Daniel has a blanket of his own wrapped around his dripping body, talking to a police officer.

The paramedic stepped to the side, and Emma’s lithe figure came hurtling towards me.

“Halley!” She cries, slamming to a stop in front of me. “Oh my God, we were so worried, when you jumped in, I thought you were going to die!” She pulled me forward into an awkward, one person hug - my arms were wrapped tightly together underneath the blanket.
“Tally was on the phone to 911 as soon as you jumped in after Shane, we couldn’t see either of you!”

Emma was about to launch into another burst of dramatics when the paramedic came back. “Sorry hun, we’re going to take her to the hospital now. You’re more than welcome to ride along, but I’d strongly suggest you’d head home, before you get into any more trouble,” he sternly said to Emma. Emma put her hands up in defeat, before backing away. She held up her left hand to her ear, thumb and pinkie extended in a message for me to call her.

The paramedic hopped into the back of the ambulance with me, closing the doors. As they shut and whoever was driving put the vehicle into gear, a wave of exhaustion washed over me, and I closed my eyes, the memories of what had just happened already invading my mind.
I will eviscerate you in fiction. Every pimple, every character flaw. I was naked for a day; you will be naked for eternity.
Chaucer, A Knight's Tale

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.
Oscar Wilde




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Hey ya'll!
Okay so I absolutly love where the story is headed or at least where I think it's headed. . . Anyway I love that Halley is different from the other main characters in other stories: good girls. I like how defiant she seems too! PM me when you post more.

-Charlotte Grace
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." -Lucille Ball




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Hey! I'm here again to review :)

My lungs are burning, but I don’t dare open my mouth.


His words have me stumped, and I take a moment to look around


Behind him, Daniel has a blanket of his own wrapped around his dripping body, talking to a police officer.


These are all present tense when the rest is past.

That's all I found!

The story is getting along great, I still love it :) Ha ha. The descriptions are amazing, they just make me feel like I'm right there. Keep Writing!

PS: I love the new title by the way. It's perfect.

-Truth-
.- <3 -.




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You are a really good writer!
This is coming along nicely, with the emotions and little cliff hangers you've put in there.
Your spelling, grammar and emotions are good.
I also have a little quesion.
What happens next?
Please keep writing
Write on my wall or PM me if you have questions
~WickedWonder
'We will never believe again, kick drum beating in my chest again, oh, we will never believe in anything again, preach electric to a microphone stand.'

*Formerly wickedwonder*



I exist as I am, that is enough
— Walt Whitman