I Must Have Missed the Important Part

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Butter stains my pants from where I wiped my hands on them.
Mouth sticky from sugary sweets.
My eyes are glued to the screen.
Scary part, more popcorn.
Tense scene, more popcorn.
Someone dying, more popcorn.
I'm surprised I haven't gone through it all, but I always have backup.
I glance over at my Twizzlers, just to make sure they're there.
*Slurp*
Taking a drink of my slushy was a risk, but I could read lips, so I knew what they said.
No, I'm not five, much older than that.
He tries to whisper something in my ear, something sweet.
*Shh*
He looks offended, but I can't look away now.
"Babe!" he whisper-shouts, I look.
He kisses my stained red lips and tries to grab my greasy hand.
I pull away, disgusted at his ignorance.
Pointing to the screen, I say, "can't you see I'm trying to watch a movie!"
He rolls his eyes and I go back to ignoring him.
Who needs some guy when I have my movie theatre food.
At least they don't interrupt my movie.
The main character says something that I don't understand.
Oh great, just great, I must have missed the important part!



Just something silly I made up for one of my friends. You don't have to review it completely, but a simple love it/ hate it thing would be fine. Thanks
-iheartbooks
Last edited by iheartbooks on Tue Aug 31, 2010 5:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"As the hungry are deprived of food, I am deprived of sympathy for those who deprive me of my sanity." ~Anonymous




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I love this!
Dreams don't always have to exist while the sun's down and your eyes are shut.




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Love it.
When life hands you a BAD ROMANCE, pick up your TELEPHONE, call ALEJANDRO and JUST DANCE!




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I love this, it's great! It's short, sweet, doesn't drag on, and pure greatness (if that's a word).

The only thing I spotted was

He kisses my stained red lips lips and tries to grab my greasy hand.

Just a double word.

I really like this poem,

Keep writing,

~Crimson
Avatar (c) to Thalia - A great friend of mine




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Hi there...

Loved this... the humor and imagery in it are great, and it's really concise... really nice job with this piece, haha. Awesome voice too. As Crimsona pointed out, there is the double "lips", but that's the only thing worth changing. Awesome write.

-Coral-




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Uhh... Liked it.
We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.-Japanese Proverb



When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
— Walter Lippmann