Part One
I never understood him. I mean yes I had the biggest crush on him ever, but that didn’t mean anything. I would dream that someday we would be together, but I knew I was barking up the wrong tree. Even though I wasn’t the smartest person around, I wasn’t stupid either.
I guess I should have got the clue he didn’t like me when he told me straight up he just wanted to be friends. But I chose to ignore it and told myself that someday he would come to his senses. But then things started to get worse. I once asked him on a date and he turned me down. He was such a nice guy. He was trying to be as nice as possible with me, but I could tell he was starting to lose his patients.
I had never met a guy like Jason. He was just perfect in so many ways. I loved the way his dark hair went down in three directions. And I loved the way his perfect little bangs looked. And that smile. That smile could rescue me any day. He had the perfect little teeth and he was so sweet. He wasn’t really that tall, for being a boy I mean. And he wasn’t popular either. But none of that bothered me. I liked him for who he was. And I didn’t get why he couldn’t see that.
I guess I really wasn’t the prettiest girl around. I wasn’t ugly, but I got intimidated by other girls easily. I had never been one to like long hair, so I had short blonde hair. It curled just a little bit when it got long. But I hardly ever let it get passed my shoulders. I wasn’t one to always wear make-up, but every once in a while I would. Sometimes it was to impress him, and sometimes it was just because I felt like it. I was really short, and I hated it. The doctors had already told me that I was done growing, so there was no hope for me. I would forever be the short little plump girl that was madly in love with a boy that couldn’t even give her the time of day.
And now here I was, on my way to breakfast like I did every morning. I wouldn’t see him until second period, the one class we had together. The one class that I looked forward to everyday. Well I also saw him during lunch. We were kind of friends, but I think it was just because he felt bad for me because I had such a big crush on him. We sometimes talked, and I enjoyed every minute of it.
I came into our oversized lunchroom and found my best friend, Julia. She gave me a smile and I took a seat next to her. “Good morning Brittany,” she greeted me with a smile. “How’s life in never never land today?”
“Good actually,” I mimicked her. She was always giving me a hard time about how I always seemed to be spaced out. I loved to space out. It sure beat being in reality sometimes.
“It’s just another day huh?” she said as she grabbed one of her unfinished homework papers out of her backpack. “Everyday is the same. If only something interesting would happen.”
“Yeah,” I agreed.
“But guess who called me last night?” she asked as she set her books back down. “Jeremy. He asked me if I wanted to go the movies with him on Saturday. Of course I said yes. Now I have a date with the hottest boy in the school.”
Julia and I had completely different tastes of who was hot. The boy she was talking about in my opinion wasn’t anything special. He thought he was so cool just because he was popular. But she liked him just as much as I liked Jason. I felt happy for her that she had finally got her date. “That’s great Julia.”
“I know,” she smiled. “So, what’s new with you and Jason?”
“Nothing,” I replied. “Nothing’s ever new with me and him. You should know this.”
“Keep your spirit up Brittany. I know someday you’ll get your chance.”
“Yeah right.” We both turned as we heard the bell ring.
“See you in third,” she said as she grabbed her backpack and left. If there was anything that scared Julia more than heights, it was being late for class. She would go on a roof any day than be late for class. She had never been late in her life, but she was always scared that one day she would. It made me laugh, because I could care less about being late for a class.
First went on as any normal class. Our teacher had us hand in our homework and then we did a test. I never worried about tests. I wasn’t a brainiack or anything, but I always seemed to get okay scores on tests. When he passed them back I saw that I passed with an 83.
Then came second. On top of it being the only class I had with him it was also the class I had with the biggest jerk in the world, Lance. Lance thought he was all big and bad, so he teased the living crap out of me. I could tell that Jason felt bad for me, but the fear of causing a fight or getting in trouble stopped him from saying anything to him. But I tried to ignore Lance and focus on Jason. Most days it worked, but not always.
I came in and sat down. I gave Jason a smile, and he returned it. I loved his smile. I went off in space for a minute until the teacher started class. “Okay,” the teacher said. “Today we will be starting our history reports. I want everyone to pick a topic and do a presentation on it. Your project should include a slideshow, a five page typed report, a handout for the students having to listen, and one other thing of your choice. You guys may work together in groups with this. But no more than three to a group. Now the textbooks are in the corner. Pick your groups and the category and then come and tell me what it is.”
Everyone started to talk and shuffle around. I knew exactly who I wanted to group with. But would he want to group with me? I saw that he had already recruited his best friend, Paul. Paul was a nice guy. I definitely didn’t have a problem with him. But I was jealous of how much time he got to spend with Jason. I only wished that could be me.
I took a breath and then started to make my way over to him. Paul was the first one to spot me. “Oh hey Brittany,” he said with a smile. “Would you like to be in our group?” I nodded. Well that was easier than I thought it would be.
“Okay,” Jason said. I loved his voice. Every time he spoke it was like music to my ears. “Well what do you want our topic to be on?”
“I say President Lincoln,” Paul suggested. “That man did so much for our country.”
“How about Harriet Tubman? She did a lot for us too.”
“Well I say we do it on World War II,” Jason said. “There would be so much we could do with that. The bigger the topic, the easier it will be to get a lot of information.”
“Okay,” I said immediately. My idea suddenly didn’t seem important anymore.
“You’re outvoted Paul,” Jason said with an evil smile. Paul just gave him a look.
“I’ll go and tell Mr. Freeman,” I offered.
“Okay,” Paul said. I could hear the two of them whispering as I left. I was sure it was about me. But all well. It didn’t really bother me.
After telling Mr. Freeman what we were doing I went back. It looked like the two of them had already started. They had a piece of paper and a pencil out. “So what do you know about World War II?” he asked me as I sat down.
“I know about the Holocaust. What they did to all those Jews was horrible.”
“You mean with Hitler?” Paul asked me. “Yeah that was horrible.”
“Well I was going more along the lines of all the Japanese war crimes,” Jason said. “Those were just as bad if not worse.”
“Well at least they weren’t children,” I protested.
“See we already know too much about this topic,” Paul said. “That’s why I said we should go with Harriet Tubman.”
“We’re sticking with this topic Paul.”
“Well fine then be that way.”
The rest of the period was pretty much boring after that. All we talked about was history. I never much liked history. But having him in my class this year made it all worthwhile.
I ran home after school. I couldn’t believe that I got to see Jason for a whole week for the project that we were doing together. This was like a dream come true. I ran through the door as my mother gave me a weird look.
“Are you alright honey?” she asked.
“Fine,” I said as I ran up to my room.
I propped myself up on my bed. I wanted to go to sleep now. Tomorrow I would get to see Jason again. Now I had to deal with hours without him.
I stayed up in my room until dinner time. Then I came back out when I heard my dad calling me from downstairs. It must be dinner time. I ran downstairs with a slide step and landed on my chair. Once again my parents gave me a weird look. “Well someone’s excited today,” he said with a smile. “What’s the occasion?”
“Oh no occasion,” I replied. “I just feel like being happy.” I guess I was kind of lucky in a way. I only had one sibling. It was my younger brother but he wasn’t home today. He was at a friend’s house for the night. They were supposed to be practicing some stupid play together. There wasn’t really much fighting in our house or money issues. My parents had only wanted one kid from the start, but then they ended up with my older brother. I find the fact that he was an accident funny, but mom always get mad whenever I talk about it around him. She says she regrets every telling me, because she was never planning on telling him.
We did the usual for dinner. We sat and talked about our day and then mom brought out dessert. Today it was strawberry cheese cake. I loved cheese cake, in any form. We talked a little more until all the cheese cake was gone, and then I headed back up to my room.
I didn’t talk about Jason too much. It was true that my parents had heard a little bit about him, I didn’t talk about him all the time. That was something I did in my head. My dad and I played a game of Scrabble and then he gave me his usual lecture on being careful in high school. You would think he would learn by now. I mean I was fifteen. And I would be turning sixteen really soon. I couldn’t wait. Turning sixteen was a great time for any girl.
At ten I finally went to bed. I didn’t really have a bedtime, but if I wasn’t in bed by ten I was really tired for school in the morning. So I always made myself go to bed. My parents told me what to do, but bedtime wasn’t on their priority list.
That night before I went to bed I grabbed my teddy bear. I may have been fifteen, but that didn’t mean I was completely grown up yet.
That night I had the weirdest dream. I was in this field surrounded by flowers and I saw Jason come up to me. He gave me that cute smile of his and then told me he wanted to tell me something. Then he whispered to me that he really did like me but he was too embarrassed to say anything. I laughed at him and then woke up to cold reality. Jason ever liking me? That would be a miracle.
I turned around a little. I felt around but couldn’t feel my bear. I figured it must have just rolled off the bed in my sleep. That had been known to happen many times. I slowly opened my eyes and made out the shape of my room. But then I realized, this wasn’t my room. I opened up my eyes all the way and saw that I was in a completely different room. I was sure this wasn’t my room.
I started to think of the worst. What if some guy came and kidnapped me in my sleep? Then he took me here so we could be alone. I started to get scared and then started to roll over thinking I may have been tied up.
“I’m sorry did I wake you?” I heard a voice asked. “I guess I’m pretty loud when I get ready for work. You can go back to sleep if you want. Sarah’s still in her bed.”
I stared in utter amazement. The boy that was standing in front of me was Jason. Well not Jason now but him when he was older. I recognized that same smile and that amazing hair. But he looked like he was at least twenty-five. The Jason I knew was fifteen. I didn’t know what was going on here.
“Are you alright?” he asked me. “You don’t look like it.”
Wherever he was, he seemed to know exactly who I was. And the fact that we were in the same room together didn’t seem to be bothering him the least bit. I didn’t understand. But I decided until I figured out what was going on, I better play it dumb. “I’m fine,” I mumbled.
“Just tired?” he asked. “Well I have to go. I’ll see you tonight.” He gave me one of his million dollar smiles and then walked out of the room. I was still in complete confusion.
I ran out of the room and into the rest of the house. The first thing I spotted was the living room. It was fairly large, with an overstuffed couch in the center. I propped myself down in it and heard a truck leaving the driveway. It didn’t surprise me when I looked out and saw Jason driving away in a truck. I watched him disappear from view and then ran outside.
I definitely wasn’t in Logan anymore. It didn’t look anything like what I remembered it from yesterday. But how was that possible!
This was crazy! I mean how could I be a normal fifteen year old high school student one day and then wake up and I was suddenly someone totally different? This had to be some crazy whacked out dream. I admit it would definitely be a nice one, but still a dream.
I came back inside and decided to do a search of the house. If this was a dream, I really wanted to remember everything about it. I started with the living room. There was a simple medium sized television in the corner and a piano to the side. I wondered who played the piano. I knew it wasn’t me.
The kitchen looked a lot like the kitchen I had yesterday. It had a corner full of counters, a large cupboard filled with all sorts of food, a tan table that was made of wood, and an island in the very center. I noticed that it looked really clean, like a clean freak had just gotten finished cleaning it. I was never much of a clean freak.
I went through all the rest of the house. I found the things you would expect: three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, a family room, and an unfinished basement. It wasn’t anything expensive, just normal.
But it was the bedrooms that caught my eye. The first one was the one I had woken up in. There was nothing special about that. It just contained an average bed and two dressers. It was the other two. The second one looked like an office. It had a desk complete with a really nice looking computer, and papers were scattered everywhere. When I looked more closely I saw that they were all printed off emails or faxes. The room itself was fairly small, so it looked cluttered. The emails were all about some job that had to be done. My heart did a summersault when I saw the top of all of them read Jason Yorks. I suddenly realized that maybe I shouldn’t be in here. But I stopped when I spotted some pictures over by the computer.
They were sitting to the side of the desk. And I couldn’t believe what I saw! The first one was a picture of a little girl standing on grass eating watermelon. She had it all over her and it was kind of cute. She looked like she was only two or three. Then the center one was a picture of him holding the little girl in her lap while she was smiling up at the camera with him.
But it was the third one that really caught my attention. It was a picture of a couple on their wedding day. But the girl in the picture looked awfully familiar. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. She looked really happy, and so did they man by her side. I recognized Jason. I suddenly began to feel my face.
Before I could stop myself, I bolted to the bathroom. When I got there I looked in the mirror. To my horror, I didn’t see what I thought I would see.
I was sure the girl I was looking at wasn’t me. It wasn’t that I was ugly, I was just a lot older. My hair had gotten a lot longer and the lines on my face were starting to become more visible. I could feel my hair all the way to the middle of my back. I was still short. That part of me I recognized at least. I just felt that whoever I was looking at wasn’t me. I stared, hoping to catch her doing something that I wasn’t doing. But with every little arm movement, she followed. I had to face the horrible truth that this really was my reflection.
I went back to the room and stared at the picture again. Somewhere deep down, I knew something. I knew that there was something special about where I was. I even pinched my arm to ensure myself that I knew I wasn’t just dreaming. And sure enough, I was still there.
I stared at the girl in the long wedding dress. She had a big smile across her face like that had been the happiest day of her life. Then the horrible reality came to me. That girl was me.
I guess any normal girl would have been happy. I mean I had finally gotten the boy I had thought I was madly in love with to fall in love with me back. But the question was, how did it happen? And why did I have to skip ten years of my life to get here? There had to be a reason behind this all. But anything I could come up with wasn’t logical at all.
I heard the sound of someone rattling a doorknob. My first thought was that someone was trying to break in. And it wasn’t like I had my father here to protect me. I started to breath deeply and told myself to calm down. But it wasn’t working.
I stopped and looked up when I heard someone call, “Mommy.”
Okay now I was really scared. Could anything go right today? Last I remembered I was only fifteen, and being a mother was years away. But I knew I heard it. Then it came again. “Mommy.”
I slowly walked over to where I heard it coming from. It didn’t surprise me that it was from the third room. I slowly turned the knob and saw that same girl that had been in the picture with Jason.
If I wasn’t really worried right now, I probably would have thought she was the cutest thing in the world. She had short blonde hair with the most darling smile. She looked like she was still in her pajamas, and she was super small. Now I was sure that she was only two or three.
She smiled up at me. Then she ran past me. I thought it would probably be wise to follow her. If this girl was who I thought she was, I knew I was in charge of her. I couldn’t even take care of a goldfish, so this really scared me.
She came into the kitchen and looked around like she had been expecting something. And I knew exactly what it was: breakfast. I must have been some sort of super mom or something, because I could never picture doing any of this.
“Are you hungry?” I asked her. “I can make you something to eat. What would you like?”
She just stared at me blankly. Of course. She was only three! She didn’t know what she wanted for breakfast. She just ate whatever her parents made. Parent. That word scared me. Like everything that had been happening today.
I went into the kitchen and began to prepare some eggs. Those were easy enough. It took me a while to find everything I needed, since I didn’t know anything about the kitchen. But I was right about the kitchen having every type of food imaginable. Someone could make amazing meals with all the ingredients that I found.
I made one egg, because I figured she probably wouldn’t eat much. And I was right. She only ate the egg and half of the toast until she complained that she was full. She asked me to put a movie in for her and I did and then started to clean up breakfast. I couldn’t even clean up my room, but now I found myself cleaning up the kitchen top to bottom. I wasn’t sure why. Maybe I didn’t want to disappoint anyone that knew me in this time period.
I had to tell myself to stop saying this time period. It wasn’t this time period, it was my time period. I had somehow managed to skip ten years of my life and now this was my new life. I just hoped that I could get used to it after a while, and not do anything stupid or make anyone think I was crazy. But that was highly unlikely. People always thought that I was crazy.
Just as I was finishing cleaning the kitchen I heard the phone ring. I knew from my wanderings this morning that there was a phone in the kitchen. I looked on the caller ID and saw that it said Williams, Julia. I couldn’t think right now. So there was no way I was going to answer the phone to some person that apparently knew me but I didn’t know them. I sat there staring at the phone until the answering machine picked it up.
“Hi you have reached the Yorks,” I heard the answering machine say. I recognized Jason’s voice. But it sounded so much deeper than what I was used to. I knew it was just because he had grown up. Something that I should have been doing too. “We’re not available right now.”
Then I heard my daughter’s voice. “So leave a message after the tone,” she said loudly. I heard Jason laugh in the background. I still loved the sound of his laugh. That would never change. No matter how crazy whatever was going on got.
“Hi Brittany,” a girl said. I recognized her voice from some where, I was sure of it. But I couldn’t put my finger on who she was. “I was just wondering if you wanted to go to lunch. Paul’s been working double shifts lately and I really just need someone to talk to.” Paul? Where have I heard that name? “Call me back when you can okay.” Then she hung up.
I just sat there for a while. I couldn’t move. I wondered what had happened to my family. Were my parents still alive? What was my annoying brother up to now? I had so many questions, but I didn’t think I would be able to get any answers.
I was jump started back to reality when I heard another phone go off. This was wasn’t like the first one. It had an actual ring tone and not just a ring like a home phone. I looked all over the counter and before too long I found a small purse. When I looked inside of it I found a cell phone. I had a cell phone before, but this one was a lot nicer in my opinion. I had always been bothering my parents to give me an upgrade, but they never did. This one seemed nice enough.
When I looked at the screen my heart did another summersault. It said Jason in big bold letters. I never had his number saved into my phone. I was way too shy to ask for his number before, and now he was the one calling me!
I figured it would be best to answer it. The last thing I wanted was for everyone to know I was crazy. I had to pretend that I knew exactly what I was doing. I answered with a shaky, “Hello.”
“Hi honey,” he said sweetly. I started to go red. It was just a good thing that he couldn’t see me. “I’m on my lunch hour, so I just wanted to see how you were doing?” I looked at the clock. Was it noon already? And sure enough, it was already twelve-thirty. My daughter’s movie should be getting over anytime now.
“I’m fine,” I replied, trying to keep my voice even. “How are things at work?”
“Oh fine. I think I might even be able to come home early today because I’ve gotten a lot of work done.”
“That’s good,” I said. The key was to sound mature. I was in my twenties, so I couldn’t be a kid anymore.
“I was talking to Paul earlier and he asked me if I wanted to play some cards with him tonight. I hope that’s alright with you. He’ll be bringing Julia, so you guys can talk. That way you’re not just watching us play. Or you’re more than welcome to play with us. I don’t care either way.”
Julia? No it couldn’t be the same one. What were the odds we still knew each other ten years later? “That sounds great,” I told him. “I’ll be looking forward to it.”
“Oh that’s a relief. I was kind of worried because you didn’t sound like yourself this morning. I was trying to figure out whether you were just tired or sick. But that’s good to hear.”
“Oh yeah I’m feeling fine,” I lied. “Don’t worry about me.”
“Well I have to go. I’m going to pay the bill and then go back to work. I’ll see you tonight.”
“See you to,” I said with a smile. Although I knew that he couldn’t see it. But that’s okay. It probably looked mischievous anyway. I heard him hang up and I turned off my phone and set it down on the counter. I was about to stare off into space again, but I saw my daughter come up.
“Mommy I’m hungry,” she told me. I realized that it was lunchtime and I hadn’t had anything prepared. I was already doing a terrible job at being a mother. And the worst part was, I realized that I didn’t even know her name. Didn’t Jason mention it this morning? I couldn’t remember if he did or not. I was too out of it to pay attention.
“Okay honey I’ll make you some lunch,” I told her.
“Grilled cheese!” she shouted. Well at least now I knew something about her. And I didn’t have to pick out something that I hoped she liked. Grilled cheese was easy enough. So much for going out to lunch with whoever that girl was.
I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to get to know my daughter. I figured out her name was Sarah, and her dad was her hero. They sounded really close to me. Her favorite color was blue, and she was anything but a girly girl. She loved princess stories and she had me read them to her every waking moment.
I felt a bond with her. Like something inside of me was confirming that she was my daughter. I suppose she did look a little like me. But I saw more of Jason in her than anything. She had his eyes and his amazing smile. But on her it was just cute, not the way I liked it with Jason.
She loved to talk. The only time she would ever be quiet was when I wasn’t in the room and she was doing something by herself. Once I came in she started to talk. That made me happy, because that meant we had been close.
I figured out how much she loved coloring when I brought over a coloring book I found in the kitchen along with some crayons. She went crazy and just starting to color while talking. Afterwards she wanted me to hang it up on the fridge. I must have done that often, because I saw a couple other pictures on it. For being only three, she was a fairly good at coloring. She did a pretty good job at staying in the lines.
I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought. I had never had much patience for kids, but I seemed to have plenty of patience for her. She was just so sweet and innocent. And the best part was I knew she was mine. She wasn’t just my niece or some cute little girl I was babysitting, but she was mine. That made it all the more fun to get to know her.
I almost forgot everything that had happened today and then I remembered when I saw Jason’s truck come into the driveway. I looked at my clock and saw that it was five-thirty. Of course the first thing Sarah did was shout, “Daddy’s home!” the second she saw him. I laughed and watched as she ran outside.
My heart started to pound a little faster. Getting to know a three year old was one thing, but getting to know you’re supposedly husband that would think you were crazy if you told him was another thing. And the fact that I had had a crush on him for so long didn’t help either.
I saw him pick her up and swing her around. “Hi honey,” he said with a smile. “How are you today?”
“Daddy,” she said as he put her down and guided her into the house. “I drew a picture and mommy hung it up on the fridge.”
“A picture huh? Of what?” I thought back to the picture she drew. It had been a picture with a lot of scribbles, but she had explained everything to me in perfect detail. One scribble was me, one was daddy, and the little one was her. She even said the line at the top was the words my family. I thought it was cute, but it also warmed my heart inside.
“Our family,” she replied. “We were at grandma’s house, except grandma wasn’t there.” He gave her a smile. I smiled to myself knowing how great of a father he was. I never knew that in all my years of liking him.
He walked in with her and she ran over to the other side of the couch. I saw her pick up her coloring book and continue where she left off.
“Hi,” said with a smile. “Paul should be here soon. I told him six. But he said Julia will be a little late because she was at her mother’s house.”
“That’s fine,” I said. I felt my cheeks start to get hot so I decided it was best if I went back upstairs. I saw him giving me a weird look as I did, but I tried not to think about it.
I spent the next hour lying on the bed. I felt strange. Like for the first time in my life something actually might go right. I decided that tomorrow I had to try contacting my parents again. And as much as I didn’t want to also my little brother. Maybe he had matured by now and he found himself a great girl. I could only hope.
I heard someone knock on my door. “Hi Brittany,” I heard that same familiar voice say. “May I come in?”
“Go ahead,” I told her as I sat up. She opened the door and gave me a smile. There was no doubt in my mind that this was the same Julia I knew in high school. I could see her facial features, also aged, and he long dark hair. And now I was happy I at least had someone I recognized and could maybe talk to.
“Julia hi,” I said with a smile. “How are you doing?”
“Good,” she said as she came all the way in. her belly caught my eye. It was rounded. It took a minute for my mind to process that she was pregnant.
“Julia!” I shouted happily. “You’re pregnant! You have to invite me to the baby shower so I can give you lots of clothes, just like we talked about.” At this point I was just saying anything that came to my mind. I couldn’t believe she was actually pregnant. “Then we can stay up all night trying to talk to the baby. And when it gets old enough, it will call me their aunt.” These were all things we talked about as freshman. Both of us had big plans for our first baby.
“Whoa Brittany calm down,” she said. “I already had the baby shower remember? You came and gave me those adorable pink bottoms that I told you she was going to wear everyday. Then Jason came over a little late and all the girls kicked him out and told him it was an only girl party and you got mad. Don’t you remember?”
I had no clue was she was talking about. But the last thing I wanted to do was for her to think I was crazy. “Oh yeah,” I lied. “How could I forget? Sorry, I’m just a little out of it today.”
“Oh it’s okay. I have days like that all the time.” She came over and sat by me on the bed. “So are you doing alright?”
“I’m fine,” I assured her.
“That’s good. I was a little worried when you didn’t answer my phone call this morning. You always answer them. I thought about calling your cell but then decided not to because I didn’t want to bother you if you were doing something important.”
So it was her! I knew I recognized that voice. Now I felt terrible. “Oh sorry. I must not have heard it ring. Next time I promise I’ll pay closer attention.”
“No harm done. I wasn’t mad or anything. So it sounds like the boys are having a good time playing cards. Paul beat Jason five times in a row and then he finally let him win. Jason even had to call in Sarah for backup. Although being that she’s only three, I don’t know how much help she’ll be.”
“Paul?” I asked. “Do you guys talk?”
She gave me a weird look. “Are you sure you’re alright? You’re really starting to worry me.”
“Just answer the question.”
“Yes we talk,” she replied like it was obvious. “I mean why wouldn’t I talk to my own husband?”
“Paul’s your husband?” I asked in shock. I don’t ever remember her liking him. She always had her heart set on Jeremy. She always told me Paul was too much of a nerd for her liking.
“Of course he’s my husband. And he has been for the past three years. And now we’re having our first child. You know all this.”
Okay now it was time to play fix up. My whole don’t do or say anything stupid plan wasn’t working. “Oh right. I’m sorry. Like I said, it’s just one of those days.”
“Yeah,” she said as she started to get up off the bed. “Well Paul and I should go. You know because I’ve been really tired lately because of the baby.” Then she rushed out the door. It was official, someone already thought that I was crazy.
I listened to them as they left. Paul wasn’t too happy about having to leave early, but he reluctantly agreed. I heard Jason tell them goodbye and then Julia whispered something in his ear. I was sure it was about me. Maybe if I pretended to be asleep when he came up here I wouldn’t have to talk to him about it. Hopefully I did a lot better tomorrow.
I grabbed the pillow from the side of the bed I woke up on and rested my head on it. It had been one long day. I heard Jason come upstairs and put Sarah to bed. At least I knew he wasn’t one of those husbands that made me do all the work with the kids. At least today he did just as much as I did if not more.
After he told her goodnight he came in the room. I played my sleep act and it sounded like he believed it. He came on the bed and I felt him wrap his arms around me and hold me close. I could barley breath because I was so close to him. I could smell his breath.
I couldn’t believe how tired I was. I guess watching a three year old could do that to you. I was asleep in only fifteen minutes. I just hoped that tomorrow would go better.
