Chapter One part one and two

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If you were to walk into fourteen year-old Stephanie Sheppard’s room, you wouldn’t notice anything different. You would still see her blue walls and white carpet, her bed with the tempurpedic mattress and blue flower bedspread, which she thought was a little too young for her but she had begged her mom to get her three years ago and didn’t have the guts to tell her mom she now hated it. Her white furniture set and the music stand with her magazines on it. The only difference was that there were five suitcases in front of her bed. Those suitcases were filled with all of her clothes and her most precious belongings.

Her stuff wasn’t packed for vacation, or for a sleepover, it was because she was going to Miami Prep, a private school in which she had earned a scholarship to. Miami Prep was one of the best private schools in the country. Which is why her family was thrilled for her even knowing that she would have to live on the campus, in Miami; some two thousand miles away from her home in San Diego.

She had filled out the application applying for the scholarship last year with her, now, ex-best friend Lily Collins. Only a few people in the United States got accepted and she was one of them. When she told her parents they were ecstatic. Her dad said that this would guarantee her into any college of her pick, and it would. Most of the Miami Prep graduates are now either doctors, surgeons, veterinarians, lawyers, attorneys, or millionaires; some even billionaires. Not just because of Miami Prep but because you had to be REALLY smart to get into Miami Prep. In fact Stephanie never, in her biggest dreams, thought she would get accepted into Miami Prep so one can imagine how excited she was when she got the letter telling her she was accepted.

Today was the day she left, technically you didn’t have to be there until tomorrow but Steph wanted to get there early so that if anything was delayed she would still get there in time and be able to unpack and get her room set up.

“Mom, are you sure you guys all want to fly out there? It’s a lot of money to fly all five of us out, especially
just to drop me off.” Steph asked her mom as she carried two of the suitcases down the stairs to the first floor. Her
long brown wavy hair was half up half down and she wore her nice Abercrombie and Fitch sundress, even though she
thought it made her butt look big. She hated her butt and it was a little big, as if, she was a size two wearing a size four
butt. The only reason she wore it in fact was that it brought out her tan, which she had worked all summer for laying out
every day at the pool, and her green eyes, she had inherited from her mom. Practically the only thing on her body she had
inherited from her mom, the rest from her dad; her nose, face, smile, even her perfect teeth.

“Sweetie, this is the last time we will see you until next year, I think we can fly out and after we drop you off we can go to Disney World, Tia and Liam are looking forward to seeing Minnie and Mickey Mouse. I just can’t get used to the idea of you not being here. I mean every day for the past fourteen years you have greeted me in the morning with your perky voice and it won’t be here after today. ” Mariah Sheppard said as she pulled her long, straight, brown hair up into a ponytail that held half as much hair as Steph’s ponytail. Her mom had gotten over the over-emotional mom stage, which she had been on for about a year, and was now just being happy for Steph. Although Stephanie knew when it came time for goodbye today she would see the over-emotional mom of hers once again.

Tia and Liam were Stephanie’s six-year old twin siblings. As much as they annoyed her she loved them to death and didn’t know what she would do without them to greet her in the morning. They could be the most annoying siblings in the world or the most loving. Like when her best friend, Lily, decided to date Stephanie’s boyfriend, Luke,-who she was still dating at the time- her sister and brother gave her hugs and offered to do her chores; she declined the offer of course because she would have felt bad using her little six-year old siblings. Tia was the cutest little kid she had ever seen. With her long, thin, straight, blond hair and her bright blue eyes and thin built she was how Steph said, ah-dor-able! And Liam, Liam was a very unique boy. He had shaggy brown hair with green eyes. Steph knew when he got older ALL the girls would be falling for him.

“Mom, I know, I will miss you too. You know that every since Lily and I got in that fight you have been my best friend. What will I do without my best friend?” Steph asked as she sat on one of the stools and leaned her elbows on the newly installed granite counter top.

“Steph, you and that girl, Anya, will be friends I'm sure of it. I mean you have to be right? You’ll be living with her for the next year.”

“I know, I'm so excited to go! I can’t believe I was one of the ‘chosen’ ones to get the scholarship. How lucky am I?”

“Out of the whole country you, Miss Stephanie Sheppard, got invited to Miami Prep. That will teach Lily to be mean to you! Didn’t you say she entered for the scholarship too?” One of the main things Steph loved about her mom was how ‘in-this-century’ she was. She knew what stars were dating who and was Steph’s Pretty Little Liar buddy. They had both read the books and watched the series. In fact, they both loved Hanna and Aria’s characters the best.

“Yeah, I know I'm so happy I won and not her otherwise everyone would have brought it up. So you promise to call me every night right? And we can call each other and talk while watching Pretty Little Liars, just like usual.” She said, trying to change the subject off of Lily. Truth is, although Lily was a COMPLETE jerk to her she would still take her back if she offered, which she hadn’t. The fact that she hadn’t even apologized to Steph made Stephanie mad but even more, upset. Stephanie knew that she and Luke would never work out but she had high hopes it would. So it came to no surprise that he cheated on her. Lily and Luke were a WAY better couple than her and Luke would ever be it just hurt her that her best friend would even consider, let alone, date her boyfriend.

“I will don’t worry and I'm sure Tia and Liam will want to talk to their big sister. I'm sure they will miss you lots.”

“As I will miss them, seeing them every morning brightens my day a bunch. I love them, more than I show.” Stephanie said, and it was all true. She loved the little ones.

“They both look up to you, but I know you are Tia’s role model. She wants to be just like you when she gets older, which is why I'm glad you are going to Miami Prep, it’s just another good choice you have made that will influence Tia for the better.” Mariah said, as Stephanie blushed. Mariah had never told her daughter that Tia looked up to her as a role model and it made Steph feel really good about herself; although with her going to Miami Prep she should feel good enough about herself to begin with.

“I'm going to bring the other suitcases down so you and dad can put them in the car. Speaking of dad, where are him, Tia, and Liam?” Steph asked.

“Your dad went to get them their Disney character signature books and they wanted to go along to pick theirs out; they don’t trust your fathers taste.”

“Neither do I.” Stephanie said, reminding herself of the time her dad went to Los Angeles and brought her back, what he thought, was a Juicy Couture jacket he found at half price. It the ugliest thing she had ever seen and worst of all it wasn’t even Juicy.

“I know, I know we all don’t trust his taste in style.” Mariah said looking at her watch that read eight thirty A.M. “So our flight is at twelve today and we have to be there at like ten. And we will get in at like six at night. Miami Prep is twenty minutes away from the airport. We will help you get unloaded there. So your dad wants us to get all the suitcases we can into the van so when he gets home we are all ready and can relax a little.”

“I'm gonna go bring all of my stuff down and put it in that car. I have five suitcases and one carry-on and my laptop bag.”

“Good stuff.”

Stephanie went and got all of her stuff and put it in the car. She then went back up to her room and checked
her makeup. Normally she didn’t wear a whole lot of makeup, but since this was the first time she would be meeting everyone on campus she wanted to make a good first impression.

After making sure her makeup looked absolutely perfect she proceeded to carry her heavy suitcases down the stairs. Just as she put the last suitcase in the car she heard the garage door open. That must mean her dad was home with Liam and Tia and would want to leave any minute. Once Tia and Liam went and got their carry-on bags with all of their toys in it they left for the airport. Just on time too, it was exactly nine- since the airport was an hour away they would get there at like ten-ish.

After passing through security and checking all five of her suitcases they reached gate A7- the gate that would take them to Philadelphia where they would there board the plane to Miami. Stephanie played Uno with Tia and Liam while waiting for the plane to be cleaned out from the last flight.

“Uno,” Tia said as she put down her second to last card- a yellow 5.

“Oh, great. Your gonna beat me again this time! Why can’t I ever win?” Liam cried out mad that he lost another game. Out of the ten games they had played he hadn’t won any. Stephanie felt bad for him but I mean you can’t win everything right? Right as Tia was about to win her seventh game, the flight attendant announced that they were now boarding for flight 51 to Philly-her flight. So Stephanie packed up her carry-on and her laptop bag and got in line to board the plane. This was the long flight, seven hours. The next one which, thankfully, there was a very short layover would only be three hours at most.

Stephanie couldn’t wait to get to Miami Prep. Ever since she got her acceptance letter- in January- she has been waiting for this moment. Well not this moment but the moment when she got there, and knew it was real.

Her roommate, Anya Gomez was on a scholarship, as well, which made her feel a little less nervous knowing that her roommate wouldn’t be a spoiled rich kid that Anya would be just like her. Miami Prep sent out your roommates name with a picture and a short summary with your acceptance letter and schedule in January. Anya had long blond, curly hair- like Hanna on Pretty Little Liars Mariah had told Stephanie when Steph showed her Anya’s picture- and brown hair. She was five foot three, just an inch shorter than Stephanie, and played softball as well as watched it- Anya’s favorite team was the UCLA Bruins- her and Stephanie both liked Taylor Swift as well.

After both fights they finally were in Miami! They were only twenty minutes from Miami Prep- of course they
had to get their luggage but that would only take ten minutes.

Once all of their luggage was off of the luggage belt they wheeled in outside to where they were going to pick up their rent-a-car. When they got their car they packed into the white, Dodge, Journey.

After twenty minutes they pulled onto the Miami Prep campus and Steph started to awe in amazement. The place was HUGE. Sure the brochure said that Miami Prep had three restaurants, two stores, two Starbucks, a boy and a girl lounge, 3 smoothies places, two frozen yogurts places and 2 ice cream places but she still didn’t think it would ever be this big. It was at least ten times bigger than her high school campus back in San Diego.

“What do you think?” Mariah asked Stephanie as Nick Sheppard pulled into a parking space and put the rent-a-car in park.

“I love it. I can't believe I get to go to school here. It’s like a dream come true.” Stephanie said as she opened her door and looked at the school she would be spending the next year at. She couldn’t wait until she saw her dorm and met Anya Gomez. She hoped they got along. What if they didn’t? They’d have to be together for the next year.

After they got all of Steph’s suitcases out of the car, they each took one and headed to the check-in booth.

“What is your name?” the lady at the check-in booth asked as she pushed her dirty blond hair over her shoulder.

“Stephanie Sheppard.”

“Your in room 155. Your roommate is Anya Gomez.”

“Thanks.” Mariah said as she grabbed one of the maps of Miami Prep that were beside the lady and the room
key from the lady as well.

“Lets go!” Steph said, anxiously.

When they came to room 155 Steph opened the door and stood in awe.

The room had white walls with different colored polka dots on it with white fluffy carpet. There was a bunk bed
near the window and a 30 inch flat screen TV on one of the dressers with a DVR box and a DVD player. There were also
two desks-both white. One tall white bookshelf, two mini closets, a huge bathroom-containing a bath, shower, two sinks, and a toilet- and two blue rugs on the floor.

“I LOVE it here!” Steph exclaimed as she dropped the suitcase and began to explore the room.

“Let’s start to unpack.” Nick said as he put the suitcase he was carrying on the desk chair and un-zippered it.

Steph did the same with hers. She unpacked hers first and then started to unpack the rest of her suitcases.
Her family offered to help but she wanted everything to be prefect so she just told them to unpack the clothes and hang
the shirts up. After half an hour they were almost unpacked the only thing left to do was make the bed. Since Steph
didn’t know if Anya wanted the top or bottom she just left the bedding in its suitcase.

“This is it I guess.” Steph said as she gave her mom and dad a big hug and then hugged the twins.

“I can't belive I won’t see you until next year.” Mariah said as she started to cry.

“Mom, don’t cry. I love you so much and I'm so thankful you let me take advantage of this opportunity. I will
call often and write often.”

“I know, you better call or else.”

“Bye Tia.” Steph said as she gave her sister a big hug.

“I don’t want to leave. Can't I stay with you?” Tia asked.

“Tia, I'm going to school out here and mom needs you back home. Plus I heard that when you leave-if you’re a
good girl- you might go to Disney World and see Mickey and Minnie.”

“Ok,” Tia said as a tear trickled down her face.

“Bye Liam.” Steph said as she gave him a hug.

“I’ll miss you, Steffy.”

“I will miss you too.” Steph said, this time a tear trickled down her eyes. She never knew saying goodbye
would be this hard.

“Bye Stephanie.” Nick said as he gave his daughter a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

“Bye Daddy, call me lots.”

“I will.” He said, then added, “Time to go everyone.”

“Bye Steph.” They all said as they left the room, leaving Steph all alone.

“Bye guys.” Steph said as she shut the door. She already missed them.

Suddenly the door opened.

“Mom?” Steph asked.

“No, I'm Anya Gomez, and you’re Stephanie Sheppard, right?” the girl at the door said. Her hair wasn’t
straightened like in the picture they sent Steph. Steph wondered what was her natural hair-hair was Steph’s thing.

“Call me Steph. I just got here. Do you want the top or bottom. I didn’t want to take either in case you had a specification.

“I like the bottom, so you can have the top.” She said as she pulled her hair up in a pony-tail.

“Ok cool. Is this your first year here?”

“No, I was here last year so you can meet my friends. There’s Sal, Cole, Anna, John, and Matt. And well you
now.” She said as she started to unpack her stuff. She pulled out a DDR mat and put it in front of the TV along with the
Wii she pulled out of her suitcase.

“Hey why don’t I unpack later? Cole just texted me that him and Sal are here now. So we can go meet them.”
Anya said.

“Sounds like fun.”

Steph followed as Anya led her down the halls into the lounges. They were going to meet in the girls lounge.

“Hey guys!” Anya greeted two boys. “This is my roommate Steph. Steph this is Sal. And this is Cole-”

Sal had a brown buzz cut and blue eyes he was taller and was very muscular-which was easy to see in his
muscle shirt he was wearing.

But Cole, Cole was gorgeous. Steph formed an IMMEDIATE crush on his blond buzz cut with brown eyes. He was
about an inch shorter than Sal but still taller than Steph and was muscular as well. He reminded Steph of the guy who played Lucas on One Tree Hill- Steph just couldn’t remember his name.

“-my boyfriend.” Anya added.

“Nice to meet both of you. What dorm number are you in?” Steph said, disappointed that Anya was dating
Cole. It was easy to sense the disappointment in her voice.


“Room 248, it’s a crappier room than last year but its still a room. What room are you guys?” Cole answered.
Steph’s heart melted as he talked and it was crushed when he put his arm around Anya’s waist.

“W-we are r-room 155,” Steph said, stuttering. Her eyes went from Cole’s arm to Anya’s waist. She knew she had just met him a few minutes ago but she still had formed a crush on him.

‘He’s Anya’s boyfriend not mine. I need to get over him.’ She told herself.

“Do you know when Anna, John, and Matt are arriving?” Sal asked Cole and Anya.

“I think early tomorrow. Well I still have to unpack so I'm gonna head back to the dorm.” Anya said.

“Steph why don’t you stay with us? We could get to know each other.” Sal suggested as Cole nodded, removing
his arm from Anya’s waist.

“I actually have some of my stuff to unpack as well. Sorry.” Steph said, as she pushed her hair over her
shoulder. This was the moment in which it would be nice to be able to call Lily and talk to her but then she reminded
herself that she and Lily weren’t friends anymore.

‘Who cares if Lily and I aren’t friends anymore. I'm mad at her so I can talk to her when I want.’ Steph thought as she pulled out her cell and headed outside to call Lily.

She pressed speed dial 1- she hadn’t changed it since her and Lily ended their friendship. She had hopes that Lily and her would make up.

On the third ring a familiar voice picked up, “Hello? Steph?”

“Yeah, It’s me. I need to talk to you,” Steph said, as her voice cracked. She didn’t know how much she
realized Lily until now.

“I have been meaning to talk to you. I'm so so sorry I stole Luke from you. I broke up with him right when
school ended- right after our friendship ended. I miss you Steph. I'm really sorry I knew how much you liked him. I was
selfish. Please forgive me.”

“Lily, I forgive you and I know you like Luke even though I was dating him. But all’s well that ends well. I need
to talk to you.” Steph said as a tear rolled down her cheek. She never thought Lily would apologize and she just did.

“What's up?” Lily said, Steph could hear her sniffling through the phone.

“I'm at my new school and I like this guy Cole. He has the brownest eyes and the blondest hair and I really like
him Lil. But he’s dating my roommate, Anya.”

“Wait you got accepted to Miami Prep?!” Lily asked.

“Yup.”

“Lucky! Well don’t date him. Don’t make the same mistake I did. But I think you do have the right to like him.
After all, it’s a free country. Just make sure Anya knows. That’s where I messed up. I couldn’t control my emotions and I
went after him when I should have just told you. I'm really sorry.”

“Thanks for the advice. I really needed it and I'm glad we are back to normal.” Steph said as she picked a split end from her hair.

“Me too, well I have to go call me soon and I’ll call you too. Bye.”

“Bye bye,” Steph said as she pressed the end button on her new Samsung Reality. Her parents got her a new phone just after she got accepted-since they were so proud of her.

Steph then headed back to her dorm.

“Hey, where have you been?” Anya asked as she continued making her bed.

“I had to call a friend. Can I talk to you?”

“Yeah whats up?”

“IlikeColejustalittelcrushandIknowyouandhimaredating. ButIneededyoutoknow.” Steph slurred it all together.

“You like Cole?” Anya questioned, suddenly less interested in making the bed.

“Yeah and I will get over it but I needed you to know.”

“Its fine lots of girls like him, just don’t act on it, or else we will have a problem.”

“That’s fine.” Steph said as she un-zippered the suitcase her bedding was in and started to make her bed.

Once they were both done they took a step back and looked at their dorm. It was amazing.

“Now that we are all done with making our dorm a-maz-ing, want to go to dinner? There’s a good restaurant
on campus called Warehouse. It was good, cheap steak’s and salads. We can go just the two of us.”

“Really? Sounds cool then when we come back you have to tell me a secret. I told you mine you have to tell me
yours.”

“Why?”

“Like Ali on Pretty Little Liars said, ‘Friends share secrets. That’s what keeps us close.’” Steph said as
opened up her laptop bag and plugged it in and sat it up on her top bunk and turned it on. Her blue Mac greeted her and
she typed in her password and opened up Safari.

“You watch Pretty Little Liars too? I love that show.” Anya said as she unrolled her Pretty Little Liars poster
and hung it on the wall.

“Me too. Well ready to go to dinner?” Steph said as she grabbed her wallet with the visa her parents gave her
to buy food and clothes. They put two hundred in each month for her to use and she could spend it however she wanted
and if she needed more she was just supposed to call them.

“Ready. So who’s your favorite character on PLL?” Anya asked as she shut their dorm door and locked it.

“Aria and Hanna, but I can't believe they ended the season with Hanna getting hit by a car. Have you read the
series?”

“Ya I'm done with the series have you read the series?”

“Ya but I'm only on book six.” Steph said following Anya out of the dorm building and to the Warehouse. When they got their they took a seat and the waitress handed them a menu.

“I like this place because although almost everyone else on campus is rich I'm here on a scholarship. I can't afford a sixty dollar steak everynight. You know?”

“I totally get that. I was scared that this whole campus would be filled with rich, spoiled brats, but its not.” Steph agreed as she looked at the menu. She decided to get a steak with a salad. It was twenty dollars. A little more than she wanted to spend but it was her first day here she could spoil herself if she wanted.

After they both ordered-they both got the same thing- they waited patiently for their meal as they shared their secrets. They only got to talking about how hard it was to be the oldest when their meals came. Since Steph hadn’t eaten since eight she was super hungry and devoured her meal. As did Anya. Once they were done eating they headed back to their dorm to be stopped on the way by Anna, Sal, and Cole asking to hang out together, so Anya told them all to come back to their room.

Steph knew Sal and Cole were nice-heck she liked Cole as a lot more than a friend- but didn’t know if Anna would be nice.
when you grow up you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he's not easy to spot; he's really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair and isnt wearing a black cape and easy to spot Lots of Love Jenn




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hockeyfan87 wrote:If you were to walk into fourteen year-old Stephanie Sheppard’s room, you wouldn’t notice anything different. You would still see her blue walls and white carpet, her bed with the tempurpedic mattress and blue flower bedspread, which she thought was a little too young for her but she had begged her mom to get her three years ago and didn’t have the guts to tell her mom she now hated it. Her white furniture set and the music stand with her magazines on it. The only difference was that there were five suitcases in front of her bed. Those suitcases were filled with all of her clothes and her most precious belongings.

Her stuff wasn’t packed for vacation, or for a sleepover, it was because she was going to Miami Prep, a private school in which she had earned a scholarship to. Miami Prep was one of the best private schools in the country. Which is why her family was thrilled for her even knowing that she would have to live on the campus, in Miami; some two thousand miles away from her home in San Diego.

She had filled out the application applying for the scholarship last year with her, now, ex-best friend Lily Collins. Only a few people in the United States got accepted and she was one of them. When she told her parents they were ecstatic. Her dad said that this would guarantee her into any college of her pick, and it would. Most of the Miami Prep graduates are now either doctors, surgeons, veterinarians, lawyers, attorneys, or millionaires; some even billionaires. Not just because of Miami Prep but because you had to be REALLY smart to get into Miami Prep. In fact Stephanie never, in her biggest dreams, thought she would get accepted into Miami Prep so one can imagine how excited she was when she got the letter telling her she was accepted.

Today was the day she left, technically you didn’t have to be there until tomorrow but Steph wanted to get there early so that if anything was delayed she would still get there in time and be able to unpack and get her room set up.

“Mom, are you sure you guys all want to fly out there? It’s a lot of money to fly all five of us out, especially
just to drop me off.” Steph asked her mom as she carried two of the suitcases down the stairs to the first floor. Her
long brown wavy hair was half up half down and she wore her nice Abercrombie and Fitch sundress, even though she
thought it made her butt look big. She hated her butt and it was a little big, as if, she was a size two wearing a size four
butt. The only reason she wore it in fact was that it brought out her tan, which she had worked all summer for laying out
every day at the pool, and her green eyes, she had inherited from her mom. Practically the only thing on her body she had
inherited from her mom, the rest from her dad; her nose, face, smile, even her perfect teeth.

“Sweetie, this is the last time we will see you until next year, I think we can fly out and after we drop you off we can go to Disney World, Tia and Liam are looking forward to seeing Minnie and Mickey Mouse. I just can’t get used to the idea of you not being here. I mean every day for the past fourteen years you have greeted me in the morning with your perky voice and it won’t be here after today. ” Mariah Sheppard said as she pulled her long, straight, brown hair up into a ponytail that held half as much hair as Steph’s ponytail. Her mom had gotten over the over-emotional mom stage, which she had been on for about a year, and was now just being happy for Steph. Although Stephanie knew when it came time for goodbye today she would see the over-emotional mom of hers once again.

Tia and Liam were Stephanie’s six-year old twin siblings. As much as they annoyed her she loved them to death and didn’t know what she would do without them to greet her in the morning. They could be the most annoying siblings in the world or the most loving. Like when her best friend, Lily, decided to date Stephanie’s boyfriend, Luke,-who she was still dating at the time- her sister and brother gave her hugs and offered to do her chores; she declined the offer of course because she would have felt bad using her little six-year old siblings. Tia was the cutest little kid she had ever seen. With her long, thin, straight, blond hair and her bright blue eyes and thin built she was how Steph said, ah-dor-able! And Liam, Liam was a very unique boy. He had shaggy brown hair with green eyes. Steph knew when he got older ALL the girls would be falling for him.

“Mom, I know, I will miss you too. You know that every since Lily and I got in that fight you have been my best friend. What will I do without my best friend?” Steph asked as she sat on one of the stools and leaned her elbows on the newly installed granite counter top.

“Steph, you and that girl, Anya, will be friends I'm sure of it. I mean you have to be right? You’ll be living with her for the next year.”

“I know, I'm so excited to go! I can’t believe I was one of the ‘chosen’ ones to get the scholarship. How lucky am I?”

“Out of the whole country you, Miss Stephanie Sheppard, got invited to Miami Prep. That will teach Lily to be mean to you! Didn’t you say she entered for the scholarship too?” One of the main things Steph loved about her mom was how ‘in-this-century’ she was. She knew what stars were dating who and was Steph’s Pretty Little Liar buddy. They had both read the books and watched the series. In fact, they both loved Hanna and Aria’s characters the best.

“Yeah, I know I'm so happy I won and not her otherwise everyone would have brought it up. So you promise to call me every night right? And we can call each other and talk while watching Pretty Little Liars, just like usual.” She said, trying to change the subject off of Lily. Truth is, although Lily was a COMPLETE jerk to her she would still take her back if she offered, which she hadn’t. The fact that she hadn’t even apologized to Steph made Stephanie mad but even more, upset. Stephanie knew that she and Luke would never work out but she had high hopes it would. So it came to no surprise that he cheated on her. Lily and Luke were a WAY better couple than her and Luke would ever be it just hurt her that her best friend would even consider, let alone, date her boyfriend.

“I will don’t worry and I'm sure Tia and Liam will want to talk to their big sister. I'm sure they will miss you lots.”

“As I will miss them, seeing them every morning brightens my day a bunch. I love them, more than I show.” Stephanie said, and it was all true. She loved the little ones.

“They both look up to you, but I know you are Tia’s role model. She wants to be just like you when she gets older, which is why I'm glad you are going to Miami Prep, it’s just another good choice you have made that will influence Tia for the better.” Mariah said, as Stephanie blushed. Mariah had never told her daughter that Tia looked up to her as a role model and it made Steph feel really good about herself; although with her going to Miami Prep she should feel good enough about herself to begin with.

“I'm going to bring the other suitcases down so you and dad can put them in the car. Speaking of dad, where are him, Tia, and Liam?” Steph asked.

“Your dad went to get them their Disney character signature books and they wanted to go along to pick theirs out; they don’t trust your fathers taste.”

“Neither do I.” Stephanie said, reminding herself of the time her dad went to Los Angeles and brought her back, what he thought, was a Juicy Couture jacket he found at half price. It the ugliest thing she had ever seen and worst of all it wasn’t even Juicy.

“I know, I know we all don’t trust his taste in style.” Mariah said looking at her watch that read eight thirty A.M. “So our flight is at twelve today and we have to be there at like ten. And we will get in at like six at night. Miami Prep is twenty minutes away from the airport. We will help you get unloaded there. So your dad wants us to get all the suitcases we can into the van so when he gets home we are all ready and can relax a little.”

“I'm gonna go bring all of my stuff down and put it in that car. I have five suitcases and one carry-on and my laptop bag.”

“Good stuff.”

Stephanie went and got all of her stuff and put it in the car. She then went back up to her room and checked
her makeup. Normally she didn’t wear a whole lot of makeup, but since this was the first time she would be meeting everyone on campus she wanted to make a good first impression.

After making sure her makeup looked absolutely perfect she proceeded to carry her heavy suitcases down the stairs. Just as she put the last suitcase in the car she heard the garage door open. That must mean her dad was home with Liam and Tia and would want to leave any minute. Once Tia and Liam went and got their carry-on bags with all of their toys in it they left for the airport. Just on time too, it was exactly nine- since the airport was an hour away they would get there at like ten-ish.

After passing through security and checking all five of her suitcases they reached gate A7- the gate that would take them to Philadelphia where they would there board the plane to Miami. Stephanie played Uno with Tia and Liam while waiting for the plane to be cleaned out from the last flight.

“Uno,” Tia said as she put down her second to last card- a yellow 5.

“Oh, great. Your gonna beat me again this time! Why can’t I ever win?” Liam cried out mad that he lost another game. Out of the ten games they had played he hadn’t won any. Stephanie felt bad for him but I mean you can’t win everything right? Right as Tia was about to win her seventh game, the flight attendant announced that they were now boarding for flight 51 to Philly-her flight. So Stephanie packed up her carry-on and her laptop bag and got in line to board the plane. This was the long flight, seven hours. The next one which, thankfully, there was a very short layover would only be three hours at most.

Stephanie couldn’t wait to get to Miami Prep. Ever since she got her acceptance letter- in January- she has been waiting for this moment. Well not this moment but the moment when she got there, and knew it was real.

Her roommate, Anya Gomez was on a scholarship, as well, which made her feel a little less nervous knowing that her roommate wouldn’t be a spoiled rich kid that Anya would be just like her. Miami Prep sent out your roommates name with a picture and a short summary with your acceptance letter and schedule in January. Anya had long blond, curly hair- like Hanna on Pretty Little Liars Mariah had told Stephanie when Steph showed her Anya’s picture- and brown hair. She was five foot three, just an inch shorter than Stephanie, and played softball as well as watched it- Anya’s favorite team was the UCLA Bruins- her and Stephanie both liked Taylor Swift as well.

After both fights they finally were in Miami! They were only twenty minutes from Miami Prep- of course they
had to get their luggage but that would only take ten minutes.

Once all of their luggage was off of the luggage belt they wheeled in outside to where they were going to pick up their rent-a-car. When they got their car they packed into the white, Dodge, Journey.

After twenty minutes they pulled onto the Miami Prep campus and Steph started to awe in amazement. The place was HUGE. Sure the brochure said that Miami Prep had three restaurants, two stores, two Starbucks, a boy and a girl lounge, 3 smoothies places, two frozen yogurts places and 2 ice cream places but she still didn’t think it would ever be this big. It was at least ten times bigger than her high school campus back in San Diego.

“What do you think?” Mariah asked Stephanie as Nick Sheppard pulled into a parking space and put the rent-a-car in park.

“I love it. I can't believe I get to go to school here. It’s like a dream come true.” Stephanie said as she opened her door and looked at the school she would be spending the next year at. She couldn’t wait until she saw her dorm and met Anya Gomez. She hoped they got along. What if they didn’t? They’d have to be together for the next year.

After they got all of Steph’s suitcases out of the car, they each took one and headed to the check-in booth.

“What is your name?” the lady at the check-in booth asked as she pushed her dirty blond hair over her shoulder.

“Stephanie Sheppard.”

“Your in room 155. Your roommate is Anya Gomez.”

“Thanks.” Mariah said as she grabbed one of the maps of Miami Prep that were beside the lady and the room
key from the lady as well.

“Lets go!” Steph said, anxiously.

When they came to room 155 Steph opened the door and stood in awe.

The room had white walls with different colored polka dots on it with white fluffy carpet. There was a bunk bed
near the window and a 30 inch flat screen TV on one of the dressers with a DVR box and a DVD player. There were also
two desks-both white. One tall white bookshelf, two mini closets, a huge bathroom-containing a bath, shower, two sinks, and a toilet- and two blue rugs on the floor.

“I LOVE it here!” Steph exclaimed as she dropped the suitcase and began to explore the room.

“Let’s start to unpack.” Nick said as he put the suitcase he was carrying on the desk chair and un-zippered it.

Steph did the same with hers. She unpacked hers first and then started to unpack the rest of her suitcases.
Her family offered to help but she wanted everything to be prefect so she just told them to unpack the clothes and hang
the shirts up. After half an hour they were almost unpacked the only thing left to do was make the bed. Since Steph
didn’t know if Anya wanted the top or bottom she just left the bedding in its suitcase.

“This is it I guess.” Steph said as she gave her mom and dad a big hug and then hugged the twins.

“I can't belive I won’t see you until next year.” Mariah said as she started to cry.

“Mom, don’t cry. I love you so much and I'm so thankful you let me take advantage of this opportunity. I will
call often and write often.”

“I know, you better call or else.”

“Bye Tia.” Steph said as she gave her sister a big hug.

“I don’t want to leave. Can't I stay with you?” Tia asked.

“Tia, I'm going to school out here and mom needs you back home. Plus I heard that when you leave-if you’re a
good girl- you might go to Disney World and see Mickey and Minnie.”

“Ok,” Tia said as a tear trickled down her face.

“Bye Liam.” Steph said as she gave him a hug.

“I’ll miss you, Steffy.”

“I will miss you too.” Steph said, this time a tear trickled down her eyes. She never knew saying goodbye
would be this hard.

“Bye Stephanie.” Nick said as he gave his daughter a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

“Bye Daddy, call me lots.”

“I will.” He said, then added, “Time to go everyone.”

“Bye Steph.” They all said as they left the room, leaving Steph all alone.

“Bye guys.” Steph said as she shut the door. She already missed them.

Suddenly the door opened.

“Mom?” Steph asked.

“No, I'm Anya Gomez, and you’re Stephanie Sheppard, right?” the girl at the door said. Her hair wasn’t
straightened like in the picture they sent Steph. Steph wondered what was her natural hair-hair was Steph’s thing.

“Call me Steph. I just got here. Do you want the top or bottom. I didn’t want to take either in case you had a specification.

“I like the bottom, so you can have the top.” She said as she pulled her hair up in a pony-tail.

“Ok cool. Is this your first year here?”

“No, I was here last year so you can meet my friends. There’s Sal, Cole, Anna, John, and Matt. And well you
now.” She said as she started to unpack her stuff. She pulled out a DDR mat and put it in front of the TV along with the
Wii she pulled out of her suitcase.

“Hey why don’t I unpack later? Cole just texted me that him and Sal are here now. So we can go meet them.”
Anya said.

“Sounds like fun.”

Steph followed as Anya led her down the halls into the lounges. They were going to meet in the girls lounge.

“Hey guys!” Anya greeted two boys. “This is my roommate Steph. Steph this is Sal. And this is Cole-”

Sal had a brown buzz cut and blue eyes he was taller and was very muscular-which was easy to see in his
muscle shirt he was wearing.

But Cole, Cole was gorgeous. Steph formed an IMMEDIATE crush on his blond buzz cut with brown eyes. He was
about an inch shorter than Sal but still taller than Steph and was muscular as well. He reminded Steph of the guy who played Lucas on One Tree Hill- Steph just couldn’t remember his name.

“-my boyfriend.” Anya added.

“Nice to meet both of you. What dorm number are you in?” Steph said, disappointed that Anya was dating
Cole. It was easy to sense the disappointment in her voice.


“Room 248, it’s a crappier room than last year but its still a room. What room are you guys?” Cole answered.
Steph’s heart melted as he talked and it was crushed when he put his arm around Anya’s waist.

“W-we are r-room 155,” Steph said, stuttering. Her eyes went from Cole’s arm to Anya’s waist. She knew she had just met him a few minutes ago but she still had formed a crush on him.

‘He’s Anya’s boyfriend not mine. I need to get over him.’ She told herself.

“Do you know when Anna, John, and Matt are arriving?” Sal asked Cole and Anya.

“I think early tomorrow. Well I still have to unpack so I'm gonna head back to the dorm.” Anya said.

“Steph why don’t you stay with us? We could get to know each other.” Sal suggested as Cole nodded, removing
his arm from Anya’s waist.

“I actually have some of my stuff to unpack as well. Sorry.” Steph said, as she pushed her hair over her
shoulder. This was the moment in which it would be nice to be able to call Lily and talk to her but then she reminded
herself that she and Lily weren’t friends anymore.

‘Who cares if Lily and I aren’t friends anymore. I'm mad at her so I can talk to her when I want.’ Steph thought as she pulled out her cell and headed outside to call Lily.

She pressed speed dial 1- she hadn’t changed it since her and Lily ended their friendship. She had hopes that Lily and her would make up.

On the third ring a familiar voice picked up, “Hello? Steph?”

“Yeah, It’s me. I need to talk to you,” Steph said, as her voice cracked. She didn’t know how much she
realized Lily until now.

“I have been meaning to talk to you. I'm so so sorry I stole Luke from you. I broke up with him right when
school ended- right after our friendship ended. I miss you Steph. I'm really sorry I knew how much you liked him. I was
selfish. Please forgive me.”

“Lily, I forgive you and I know you like Luke even though I was dating him. But all’s well that ends well. I need
to talk to you.” Steph said as a tear rolled down her cheek. She never thought Lily would apologize and she just did.

“What's up?” Lily said, Steph could hear her sniffling through the phone.

“I'm at my new school and I like this guy Cole. He has the brownest eyes and the blondest hair and I really like
him Lil. But he’s dating my roommate, Anya.”

“Wait you got accepted to Miami Prep?!” Lily asked.

“Yup.”

“Lucky! Well don’t date him. Don’t make the same mistake I did. But I think you do have the right to like him.
After all, it’s a free country. Just make sure Anya knows. That’s where I messed up. I couldn’t control my emotions and I
went after him when I should have just told you. I'm really sorry.”

“Thanks for the advice. I really needed it and I'm glad we are back to normal.” Steph said as she picked a split end from her hair.

“Me too, well I have to go call me soon and I’ll call you too. Bye.”

“Bye bye,” Steph said as she pressed the end button on her new Samsung Reality. Her parents got her a new phone just after she got accepted-since they were so proud of her.

Steph then headed back to her dorm.

“Hey, where have you been?” Anya asked as she continued making her bed.

“I had to call a friend. Can I talk to you?”

“Yeah whats up?”

“IlikeColejustalittelcrushandIknowyouandhimaredating. ButIneededyoutoknow.” Steph slurred it all together.

“You like Cole?” Anya questioned, suddenly less interested in making the bed.

“Yeah and I will get over it but I needed you to know.”

“Its fine lots of girls like him, just don’t act on it, or else we will have a problem.”

“That’s fine.” Steph said as she un-zippered the suitcase her bedding was in and started to make her bed.

Once they were both done they took a step back and looked at their dorm. It was amazing.

“Now that we are all done with making our dorm a-maz-ing, want to go to dinner? There’s a good restaurant
on campus called Warehouse. It was good, cheap steak’s and salads. We can go just the two of us.”

“Really? Sounds cool then when we come back you have to tell me a secret. I told you mine you have to tell me
yours.”

“Why?”

“Like Ali on Pretty Little Liars said, ‘Friends share secrets. That’s what keeps us close.’” Steph said as
opened up her laptop bag and plugged it in and sat it up on her top bunk and turned it on. Her blue Mac greeted her and
she typed in her password and opened up Safari.

“You watch Pretty Little Liars too? I love that show.” Anya said as she unrolled her Pretty Little Liars poster
and hung it on the wall.

“Me too. Well ready to go to dinner?” Steph said as she grabbed her wallet with the visa her parents gave her
to buy food and clothes. They put two hundred in each month for her to use and she could spend it however she wanted
and if she needed more she was just supposed to call them.

“Ready. So who’s your favorite character on PLL?” Anya asked as she shut their dorm door and locked it.

“Aria and Hanna, but I can't believe they ended the season with Hanna getting hit by a car. Have you read the
series?”

“Ya I'm done with the series have you read the series?”

“Ya but I'm only on book six.” Steph said following Anya out of the dorm building and to the Warehouse. When they got their they took a seat and the waitress handed them a menu.

“I like this place because although almost everyone else on campus is rich I'm here on a scholarship. I can't afford a sixty dollar steak everynight. You know?”

“I totally get that. I was scared that this whole campus would be filled with rich, spoiled brats, but its not.” Steph agreed as she looked at the menu. She decided to get a steak with a salad. It was twenty dollars. A little more than she wanted to spend but it was her first day here she could spoil herself if she wanted.

After they both ordered-they both got the same thing- they waited patiently for their meal as they shared their secrets. They only got to talking about how hard it was to be the oldest when their meals came. Since Steph hadn’t eaten since eight she was super hungry and devoured her meal. As did Anya. Once they were done eating they headed back to their dorm to be stopped on the way by Anna, Sal, and Cole asking to hang out together, so Anya told them all to come back to their room.

Steph knew Sal and Cole were nice-heck she liked Cole as a lot more than a friend- but didn’t know if Anna would be nice.



:arrow: Way too much description. As a reader, it gets a tad boring if you just tell. And some of your description seems robotic and choppy. Make she it flows well.
:arrow: I love pretty little liars too! Yay! Now, although it's great that your characters have this thing in common, you don't need to mention it so much.
:arrow: There are some grammatical errors, which can be found if you read it over a few times.

Overall=
Intriguing, yes. Your plot seems a tad bit cliche, so watch out for that

~Kit
When life hands you a BAD ROMANCE, pick up your TELEPHONE, call ALEJANDRO and JUST DANCE!




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Hey Jenn :) Here as promised! Let's start, shall we?

First, some nitpicks..

You would still see her blue walls and white carpet, her bed with the tempurpedic mattress and blue flower bedspread, which she thought was a looked little too young for her, comma but she had begged her mom to get it for her three years ago and didn’t have the guts to tell her mom she now hated it.

Pretty sure a bead spread cannot be 'too young', but it can 'look' too young.

Her white furniture set and the music stand with her magazines on it.

This is only a fragment, while they are not bad in some cases, here you are just saying what the things are but not saying what they do, where they are or anything. I would suggest you add something like 'stood against the walls' or 'completed the scene'.

Which was why her family was thrilled for her even knowing that she would have to live on the campus, in Miami; some two thousand miles away from her home in San Diego.

Be careful to keep it to the past tense. Just a little slip up here. And there's no need to saying 'in Miami' since we already know it's in Miami by the name 'Miami prep'.

She had filled out the application applyingfor the scholarship last year with her, now ex-best friend, comma Lily Collins.

The reader already knows she is applying by the use of the word 'application', you're just repeating yourself. And, move the comma to after 'friend' because she was not applying now with her ex-best friend, it's the best friend that is now an 'ex-best friend', am I right?

Only a few people studentsin the United States got accepted, comma and she was one of them. When she told her parents, comma they were ecstatic.

I feel the word 'student' would work better here.

Most of the Miami Prep graduates were now either doctors, surgeons, veterinarians, lawyers, attorneys, or millionaires; some even billionaires.

'Graduates' is plural, so 'were', not 'are'.

Today was the day she left, technically she didn’t have to be there until tomorrow, comma but Steph wanted to get there early, comma so that if anything was delayed, comma she would still get there in time and be able to unpack and get her room set up.


“Mom, are you sure you guys all want to fly out there? It’s a lot of money to fly all five of us out, especially
just to drop me off, comma” Steph asked her mom, comma as she carried two of the suitcases down the stairs to the first floor.

Don't forget there should be a comma before your second quotation marks, not a period.

Her long, comma brown, comma wavy hair was half up, comma half down and she wore her nice Abercrombie and Fitch sundress, even though she thought it made her butt look big. She hated her butt and because it was a little big, as if, she was a size two, comma wearing a size four butt. The only reason she wore it, comma in fact, comma was that it brought out her tan, which she had worked on all summer for, comma laying out every day at the pool, and her green eyes, which she had inherited from her mom. It was practically the only thing on her body she had inherited from her mom, the rest was from her dad; her nose, face, smile, even her perfect teeth.

Some suggestions.

“Sweetie, this is the last time we will see you until next year. Period I think we can fly out and after we drop you off we can go to Disney World, Tia and Liam are looking forward to seeing Minnie and Mickey Mouse.

There should be a period here, not a comma, because you and gravitate toward another subject.

Tia and Liam were Stephanie’s six-year old twin siblings

Twins are awesome!! Just had to say :D I am one.

“Mom, I know, I will miss you too. You know that every since Lily and I got in that fight, comma you have been my best friend. What will I do without my best friend?” Steph asked, comma as she sat on one of the stools and leaned her elbows on the newly installed granite counter top.


“I know, I'm so excited to go! I can’t believe I was one of the ‘chosen’ ones to get the scholarship. How lucky am I?”

Why is there quotation marks on 'chosen'?

She knew what stars were dating who and was Steph’s Pretty Little Liar buddy. They had both read the books and watched the series. In fact, they both loved Hanna and Aria’s characters the best.

HAHA Pretty Little Liars is starting back up :o Who will be A.? Sorry, I'll stop my stupid comments xD

“Yeah, I know. Period I'm so happy I won, comma and not her, comma otherwise everyone would have brought it up. So, comma you promise to call me every night right? And we can call each other and talk while watching Pretty Little Liars, just like usual.” She said, trying to change the subject off of Lily. Truth is, although Lily was a COMPLETE bitch to her, comma she would still take her back if she offered, which she hadn’t. The fact that she hadn’t even apologized to Steph, comma made Stephanie mad but even more upset. She Stephanie knew that she and Luke would have never worked out, comma but she had high hopes it would. So it came to no surprise that he cheated on her. Lily and Luke were a WAY better couple than her and Luke would ever be, comma it just hurt her that her best friend would even consider to , let alone, date her boyfriend.

Jerk is usually used for males, I would suggest you use 'bitch', it's a bit more crude though... or you could use mean.

“I'm going to bring the other suitcases down so you and Dad can put them in the car. Speaking of Dad, where are him, Tia, and Liam?” Steph asked.

If you are referring to 'Dad' as a noun, then it should be capitalized.

“Your dad went to get them their Disney character signature books and they wanted to go along to pick theirs out; they don’t trust your father's taste.”

It's her father'S taste because she does not have more than one father and the taste belongs to her father.

After making sure her makeup looked absolutely perfect, comma she proceeded to carry her heavy suitcases down the stairs. Just as she put the last suitcase in the car, comma she heard the garage door open. That must have meant her dad was home with Liam and Tia, comma and would want to leave any minute. Once Tia and Liam went and got their carry-on bags with all of their toys in it, comma they left for the airport.


After passing through security and checking all five of her suitcases, comma they reached gate A7- the gate that would take them to Philadelphia,comma where they would then board the plane to Miami.

I think that's what you meant?

“Oh, great. You're gonna beat me again this time! Why can’t I ever win?”

'You are gonna beat' and not 'his gonna beat'.

Anya had long blond, curly hair- like Hanna on Pretty Little Liars Mariah had told Stephanie when Steph she had showed her Anya’s picture- and brown hair.

There's no need to repeating 'Steph' here since you already said Stephanie just before.

When they got their car, comma they packed into the white, Dodgeno comma Journey

Dodge Journey is a name so there's no comma between.

“What do you think?” Mariah asked Stephanie as Nick Sheppard pulled into a parking space and put the rent-a-car in park

Is Nick Sheppard Stephanie's dad? I'm not sure I love this whole impersonal thing here..

Stephanie said, comma as she opened her door and looked at the school she would be spending the next year at. She couldn’t wait until she saw her dorm and met Anya Gomez. She hoped they would get along. But what if they didn’t? They’d have to bear each other for the next year.

Again, some suggestions.

The room had white walls, comma with different colored polka dots and with white fluffy carpet covered the floors.


There was a bunk bed near the window and a 30 inch flat screen TV on one of the dressers with a DVR box and a DVD player and also two desks-both white, comma one tall, comma white bookshelf, two mini closets, a huge bathroom-containing a bath, shower, two sinks, and a toilet- and two blue rugs on the floor.

This should all be one sentence, since you are still enumerating what's in the dorm room.

“I LOVE it here!” Steph exclaimed as she dropped the suitcase and began to explore the room.

“Let’s start to unpack.” Nick said as he put the suitcase he was carrying on the desk chair and un-zippered it.

Steph did the same with hers. She unpacked hers first and then started to unpack the rest of her suitcases

This doesn't work quite all that well, you first say she drops the suitcase and goes into the room, then say she lays the suitcase down and starts putting away her stuff.. which one is it?

“I know, you better call or else...

I think this should be a suspension.

“I will miss you too, comma” Steph said, this time a tear trickled down from her eyes.

Tears can't trickle down your eyes but they can trickle from your eyes.

Sal had his brown hair in a buzz cut and blue eyes, comma he was taller and was very muscular-which was easy to see in his
muscle shirt he was wearing.

You can't really have a brown buzz cut.. and by saying 'his', then 'he was wearing', you're just repeating yourself.

Steph formed an IMMEDIATE crush on his blond-haired buzz cut with brown eyes.

Same here.

“Room 248, it’s a crappier room than last year but its still a room. What room are you guys in?” Cole answered.


“It's fine lots of girls like him, just don’t act on it, or else we will have a problem.”

It is fine.

Overall, this has potential. It's pretty good, I like the description, except you should probably separate this into different chapters and stuff because this is really long...
It's pretty catchy and the plot, even though this is only a beginning, sounds exciting :) PM me if you've got any questions on anything above or if you want me to review more! Keep on writing!

-Truth-
.- <3 -.




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Hey kitty here,
Basically i think everyone has covered most of your problems. But there was one thing i would like to say. I think you are going way too fast. One minute Anya and Steph are meeting, the next Steph is calling Lily, straight after she tells Anya that she likes her boyfriend? I think that you should cut down on your description and make it go a little slower. Also you mentioned pretty little liars a lot. But overrall i love the story and i like the plot and hope to read your future chapters.

From Kitty
"It is better to write for yourself and have no public than to write for the public and have no self."



Y'know, sometimes a family is a mutant superhuman clown with cartoony powers, a hyperactive shapeshifter created in a lab, the ghost of an artificially created being who only exists for exposition, a cat who is an eldritch god for some reason, and an emo guy who doesn't canonically exist
— GengarIsBestBoy