"It's something to do"

Two words- Youth Crime.
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Fear is their friend,
as they hunt in packs,
scouting for their prey,
'cos it's something to do.

They carry their tools,
knives from the kitchen,
hiding them in their coats,
'cos it's something to do.

When they find thier prey,
they attack the poor thing,
Jeering,
Scaring,
Bullying,
'cos it's something to do.

Metal glints in the street lamps,
sounds of struggle,
a sharp gasp,
'cos it's something to do.

A powered wig judge,
his robe the colour of the blood on the pavement,
asks the question "why?"

'cos it's something to do.

This isn't a bad poem by any means, but I think it struck me as being especially muddy. "Youth crime" is such a far-reaching topic, and this poem doesn't seem to pare it down in a way that would be beneficial.

Part of this, I think, is that in creating your tone (which is effective in its way--cold and distanced from the audience in a certain sense), you have not allowed the reader to identify with the subject. Instead we get the feeling that the subject is one-sided, the perpetrators not "youths" at all, but entities devoid of feeling or even passion for their crimes.

All-in-all, this portrayal makes the poem seems a little flat.

Probably you could remedy some of this by lengthening the piece. The way that you've ended it just seems abrupt and hurried--a truncation in the middle of the poem. And the last stanza:

A powered wig judge,
his robe the colour of the blood on the pavement,
asks the question "why?"

...seems out of place. There is none of the balance here that we've seen in the other stanzas. Instead, description takes over and lengthens that middle line.

I like your choice of topic, and there is definite potential here.

Thank you Sheperd! I will make improvements on future works, so that I don't seem so distant from the reader!

This is interesting, only I never fully understand what your trying to say. It's implied, sure, but it's all sort of just skimming the surface. The line "'cos it's something to do'" is powerful in its repitition, but not in its content. Why is somethin being something to do important? That's what I think your missing.

To me this sounds like it's about a gang, but I'm not exactly sure. Whatever it's about though, you sure made this poem very powerful, especially with the repetition. I thought that this poem was really good! Keep writing!

Thanks guys!