This is a draft. I need suggestions on the following if possible:
- Realism. Is this possible?
- Can you relate to Dexter? If so, how? The key to this piece is whether or not others can feel for the character, even if they don't agree with his ways.
- Help me fix my run-ons. I have some very very long sentences in here. If you think one needs broken up please give me advice on how to do so.
- Tell me when certain words get repetitive. I know I have a problem with it.
The Art Murderers
By Romance Otaku http://romanceotaku.com/
Chapter 1
Read at topic67185.html
Chapter 2
Dexter awoke the next morning to the sound of his alarm clock feeling more awake than usual. After preparing himself for school he walked down the stairs. He stopped and stared at the blank TV screen, taking a bite on the cereal bar he just retrieved.
Every day for as long as Dexter could remember his father was always downstairs before him, sitting in his chair, and watching the news. Dexter curiously peered over the chair that sat directly in front of the TV.
It was empty.
A feeling of dread came over Dexter. He walked back upstairs and into his parents' room to find his mother alone in her bed. Dexter tapped on her shoulder, calling out to her, until she woke up.
“Mom, where's Dad?” Dexter whispered.
His mother, tired and confused, spoke a good deal louder. “What do you mean? Isn't he downstairs?”
“No.”
“Is his car in the driveway?”
“I don't know...”
“Check!” She sat up in bed.
Dexter quickly did so, then returned to his parent. “It's still there, but his shoes are gone.”
Dexter's mother glanced at the clock, her heart rate increasing by the second. “You need to get to the bus stop, now. I'll find out what happened to him.”
Dexter had never seen his mother so worked up. Though he wanted to stay, he wanted to avoid making his mother any more excited. “Okay Mom. Text me if anything happens, 'kay?”
“Okay sweetie.” She breathed, then said, more to herself than herself than her son, “It's probably nothing... maybe work needed him...”
School was nothing less than hell for Dexter. The possibilities of his father's whereabouts only became more horrible through out the day. Every few minutes Dexter would find himself checking his phone hoping for some sort of comfort in the form of a message from his mother. She never did.
Lucas could see that Dexter was troubled, but had not a clue why he was. Every flight of conversation Lucas attempted to fly over to his friend was shot down by anti-air missiles. Eventually he just gave up, leaving Dexter to himself.
When the final bell finally rang Dexter horridly began packing his bag so that he could return home, hopefully to find news of his father. He was too busy to notice the worried glance of Darcie beside him, just like he had been too worried to notice them in class, and too preoccupied with what he had been going through his mind to notice her watching in the halls.
“Are you okay?”
Dexter was startled by the girl's voice, but only for a second. “No, I'm not...”
“Need to talk about anything?” Darcie's voice was layered with concern.
“No... At least, not right now.” Dexter was too much in a hurry to be nervous to talk to the girl he liked. “I need to get home as soon as possible.”
Darcie frowned, something that surprised Dexter. “Oh... you seem like you could use a good song...” She dipped her hand into her small sling bag and pulled out a card. “Here. If you don't feel any better I'd like you to go with me... It always helps me cheer up, at least...” Darcie's face reddened, then she turned around, hurriedly telling Dexter that she hoped he feels better as she nearly ran out the door.
Dexter could just stand there, attempting to assess the situation. He sighed after a minute, regaining his composure and reminding himself that he needed to get home. He adjusted the strap over his shoulder to his liking, then headed off.
Half way home Dexter realized that the small piece of paper he was given was still in his hand. He read it as he walked.
“The best things in life are a Little Dark.
Six to six, Friday April sixteenth at Neon Bass
Admit One”
It wasn't just a piece of paper, it was a ticket. For what exactly, Dexter didn't know, but it didn't matter; it was given to him by a girl – no – the girl he liked. And she said that she wanted him to go with her. That meant that the ticket was a sort of invitation.
He was just asked out on a date.
The shock didn't ware off of Dexter until he looked up to find his drive way, his father's car still sitting in it. With a new found sense of urgency, Dexter carefully slipped the ticket into his pocket and half-ran into his house, desperate to know about his father's whereabouts.
Dexter was greeted by his mother, who was sitting on the couch n the living room, the wireless phone in her hand. Her eyes were red, her hair ruffled, and her breathing tense.
Dexter saw all of this, and his heart skipped a beat, picking up on the mood. "Where is Dad?"
His mother looked him in the eye. "I - I don't know..." Her voice faltered.
"Did you-" Dexter started.
His mother suddenly burst out in excitement. "I called his work, I checked around the neighborhood, I checked his favorite store and restaurants, called all our relatives, all his friends. I would check the credit cads, but his wallet is still on his nightstand! What else do I do, Dex? Where else do I look? Who else do I call?"
Dexter was trying so hard not to cry. His mother needed him to be strong. "Did you call the police?"
His mother looked shocked at the thought. "But it's probably nothing. Everything's going to be okay. He'll probably be home in a couple of hours. Right, Dexter? Right?"
Dexter sighed, walking forward. Mom... What am i supposed to say? Lying is something I don't want to do to you. But neither is bringing you more grief.
The teen took the phone from his mother's hand, then dialed those three dreaded numbers.
When Dexter awoke the next morning the cold patch on his pillow reminded him of his father's disappearance. He slowly prepared himself for classes, then walked down the stairs. The living room was perfectly quiet; too quiet for Dexter, who was used to being greeted bu the sound of his father watching TV every morning.
Dexter sighed, glancing at his father's favorite chair as he took the usual cereal bar from the carbonate. He removed the wrapper then threw it into the small waste paper basket. With another sigh Dexter closed the door behind himself and trudged to school, not wanting to deal with the bus that morning.
"Dude. are you okay? You weren't online at all yesterday."
Dexter pulled his head out of his locker and turned around to find Lucas standing behind him. "No... I'm not..."
"Something happen?" Lucas asked, mildly concerned.
"Luke... my dad's gone..."
Lucas's brow furrowed. "Gone? Where?"
"That's the problem..." Dexter looked at his shoes.
"You have no clue where he went?"
"None..."
The bell rang.
"Well... I'm going to get to class..." And, with that, Lucas walked away.
Classes for Dexter were twice, maybe thrice, as bad as the day before. Lucas again attempted to speak to Dexter, but the two only exchanged small, short words. Darcie just watched these "conversations" from a distance, unable to find the courage to talk to the boy she had asked out the other day.
Neither Dexter nor Darcie wanted to be the one to make the first move, so, when everyone swarmed into their last period class the two only glanced, met each other's eyes, then shied away.
Darcie spent the whole class mustering her courage. On the other hand, Dexter was trying to figure ot how the rest of his day was going to work out. He knew he wanted to go home and check on his mother, but he wasn't sure what Darcie had in mind. He wanted to give Darcie as much of his time as possible that day, but his father...
But he knew his father would tell him to give the girl his priority. Because of this he had told his mother that morning that he may or may not be home late that night, and to call him if she needed him. When she asked why and he told her she smiled, for the first time since her husband's disappearance, and told him to "have fun, but don't get carried away".
When class ended Darcie turned around in her seat to face dexter, who was putting his supplies away. "So did you decide to come?"
Dexter looked up. "Yeah..."
Darcie smiled wider than her default. "I'm glad. You look like you could really use it..." Darcies mood mood faltered for a second, then was resurrected. "I was wondering if you would mind coming with me early. I usually help set up..."
Dexter stood, zipping up his bag. "Nah, I wouldn't. How early?"
"Actually, I was thinking that we could maybe walk there together... It's about an hour walk from here."
Dexter shrugged. "Why not?" He was having trouble hiding his emotions from the past few days. He was a little nervous, but would've been more so if he wasn't under such stress, at least, that's what Dexter figured.
And, with that, they went on their way.
A myriad of blocks down the street, Dexter had a epiphany (?) . "Where are we going exactly?" This question was triggered by the fact that they began walking on a bridge over traffic, something that Dexter never did before.
"To the club, of course." Darcie chuckled.
"I know that but where is and what is this Neon Bass place?"
"Ohh... Well, it's a club downtown. It was look small from the outside, but it's-" Darcie ran in front of Dexter and faced him, opening her arms wide, "Really big! There's laser lights everywhere and and the people are nice. The music is amazing, too."
Dexter was taken aback for a second, taking the enthusiastic information."So... we are going to a rave?"
Darcie returned to her spot beside Dexter, beginning to walk again. "Yeah, pretty much."
Dexter's voice quivered a little; he didn't think she was that kind of girl. "Um... do you do ecstasy and that kind of stuff, then?"
To Dexter's surprise, Darcie took the question calmly. "No, I've never tried, either. I don't want to. I would never do something like that to my body."
Dexter sighed in relief, but he still has another question. "Then why do you go?"
Darcie smiled wide. "Hehe, for the music. You would have to go once to understand, that's why I wanted to bring you."
So began a shy silence.
Downtown was not a very fancy place. The old clashed with the new, the tall clashed with short, and the well-off businesses clashed with the vacancies. It was possible to go out alone, though, due to the constant watch of the police and the mellow nature of the area's residence.
Darcie led Dexter into an alley next to a large brick building with tinted windows. Dexter would have thought the apartment building was completely abandoned if not for the sign in front of the faded grew wooden door that said:
"Neon Bass
Exit
Enter Though Back"
The long alley made a sharp turn to the right, than another, Until we came to the wide-open black door of the club. We entered.
After going through a short hallway, we come to the main room. It was dimly lighted and only a few other people were present, all doing various chores.
The main room was an amazing sight to see for the first time. Just as Darcie said, the room looked much bigger from the inside than it did from the outside. The building, Dexter assumed, was originally an apartment complex. He thought this due to the nature of the main room, with the three floor above cleared out for the most part, with only wide, tall steel polls keeping the fifth floor at bay. The parts that remained of floors two through four were only hallways with some tables and chairs in them, then about five doors with small numbers on them per floor. There was yet another set of stairs to the fifth floor from the fourth that you could see from the lowest floor, but they were sealed off with construction tape.
Opposite the levels was a rectangular platform that jutted out from the wall. Upon it sad a DJ booth and humongous speakers. as well as wires and cords sprawled on and around it. Laser lights were attached to the booth, the speakers, the walls, and even the ceilings, which had speakers on them, too.
A bar lined one side of the room, with evenly dispersed stools lining it in an organized fashion. There were actually black stools and small two-person tables in various places in the room, and a booth with a larger table lining every corner.
In the center of the room, starting from directly in front of the DJ booth, was a giant square of black tile that contrasted with the white ones of the rest of the room. Dexter guessed that it was the dance floor.
As Dexter stared in awe at everything around him, Darcie said, "If you think it's amazing now, wait until you see it tonight.
To Dexter's surprise, he was actually starting to look forward to the opening of the club.
"Yo, Dark, could you fix up the wired in the booth? The last DJ messed them all up." Yelled a man from across the way who was reorganizing chairs.
"Yeah, no problem, Simon," Darcie shouted back, then said quieter to Dexter, "He's the owner of this club. Come on, the booth is pretty cool to look at, especially for the first time."
As Darcie unplugged and plugged in confusing cord after cord Dexter checked out the mixing deck with its many knobs and sliders. He decided that conversation was needed. "You must come here often for them to let you touch the equipment."
Darcie laughed. "I come here almost every other night for a few lemonades and to listen to whoever is playing. You get to know people."
"What kind of music is played here?" Dexter's limited knowledge of clubs and parties was failing him.
"Well, this club liked to switch up the specific styles, but it's all hard dance." Darcie was now adjusting a light.
"Hard dance?" And music. Though he listened to a lot, he didn't know too much about the different genre's.
Darcie stopped what she was doing and looked up in thought. "Hmm... It's hard to describe... do you know what techno is?"
"Yeah."
"Imagine that but a little less complex and a little lyrics, and a boom boom boom."
Dexter did so. It seemed just okay to him, but with the lights and the dance floor he thought it would fit perfectly. "Sounds cool."
"It is." Darcie smiled wide to herself.
Dexter explored the record decks, sound effect panels, and CD decks until Darcie completed her work. It actually was interesting since Dexter had only seen similar things on TV. He wondered how everything worked, but was too afraid to ask in fear of sounding dumb.
But it seemed to him that Darcie was a mind reader. "Wanna see what this stuff does?"
"Okay." Dexter replied, watching Darcie flipped switch that turned on two computer screens that he didn't originally notice since everything was dark and triggering a light hum from the equipment.
Darcie went from knob to knob, slider to slider, button to button and showed Dexter how each one effected the music that was in the computer already. She even showed him a little scratching on the vinyl. Less impressed by the music, more so by the fact that Darcie seemed to know what she was doing and looked to be enjoying herself, no less, so Dexter watched and listened intently as Darcie displayed her DJing prowess.
When she finished it was nearly five thirty. The two sat at the bar, the only people there, besides the bartender, who was dressed up in a tuxedo and had is hair slicked back. Dexter was surprised when Darcie called him by name and asked for drinks. Darcie and the bartender exchanged theories on how the night was going to turn out. They watched as the first DJ of the night stepped up to the decks. The lights went off and the lasers came on, swinging about the room in various patterns.
People were slowly but surely beginning to fill the room, but it wouldn't be at it's maximum until after midnight.
Darcie slid off her stool. “I have a room here. Wanna check it out? We can hang there until the better Djs come on; the openers are usually terrible.”
Dexter nodded. “Okay.”
Darcie unlocked her fourth floor apartment with a key. “This is where I spend most of my time.”
Darcie's room was about the size of a suit hotel room. There was a small kitchen, a bedroom, a bathroom, and a living room; just big enough for one or two people to live in.
Darcie sat down and turned on the TV, flipping though the channels.
In the back of his mind, Dexter was trying to figure out how Darcie could afford all of that. She had cable, and she also had a computer set up, so she had internet. Maybe her parents give her the money? Dexter kept this to himself, deciding that it would not only be rude, but that it did not matter.
Darcie turned to Dexter. "Anything you wanna watch?"
Dexter shrugged and sat down beside Darcie. "Comedy?"
Darcie changed the TV to the comedy channel. She had to set the volume high, but the old fashioned, quality construction of the wall blocked out the majority of the music.
Dexter laughed. It was only for a few seconds, but for that tiny amount of time he forgot about all his problems. The only things that existed were himself, the TV, the couch, and Darcie. But right after he realized what happened and immediately stopped laughing. He had, for just a few seconds, forgotten about his lost father. Guilt slowly drove him mad. He tried not to cry, but tears were shed nonetheless.
When Darcie finally switched her gaze from the television to Dexter she gasped. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing..." Dexter looked at the girl in front of him through watery eyes.
"It has to be something..." Darcie wiped the tears away with her hand.
Dexter felt Darcie's skin rub against his. His tears began to fall more often.
"You've been crying a lot the last few days, haven't you? Your eyes have been so red... have you been crying alone?" Darcie's voice was becoming more sweet and comforting to Dexter by the minute.
He just nodded.
Darcie slid over the couch, closer to Dexter. She wrapped her arms around him as he buried his face in her neck. "You don't need to cry alone anymore..."
Dexter had never been so close to another person before. He could feel her warmth around him, comforting him. He did not cry long; he did not need to because he had cried so much the days before. It was just the momentary lapse or reality that had not quite settled in Dexter's mind. It confused and frustrated him.
It was for an hour they stayed like that. An hour of smelling each other's scents, feeling each other's body heat, of listening to the rhythm of each other's breaths. Long after Dexter stopped shedding tears he stayed close to Darcie.
A switch in music styles prompted Darcie to get up and stretch her arms in the air with a moan. "The music gets harder as the night goes on. It's finally hard enough to dance to. Want to?"
Dexter stretched himself longways on the couch. "I can't dance." He chuckled at the thought.
Darcie grabbed Dexter's hand and pulled him up. "So? It's still fun. Besides, by now everyone out there are making fools of themselves anyhow."
"But-"
Darcie waited for no answer, pulling Dexter out the door into the booming main room. The party was in full sync with the hard kick of the bass. The horde of people on the dance floor all jumped to the beat, besides a few more talented dancers who displayed their talents in the middle of everyone else, close to the DJ, getting cheered on by their peers. People crowded the bar, asking the poor, lone bartender for drinks. People also lounged at tables, just enjoying and relaxing. Nobody noticed us on our perch.
We stood on the balcony as we watched the crowed flow like the ocean to the music.
"Come on, it's just playing around. Look, your foot is already tapping."
Dexter hadn't even noticed his foot. He knew he couldn't win, but there was on way for him to keep his dignity. "If i do, you owe me an iced tea. No, make that two." He chuckled.
"Deal!" Darcie squealed, seizing Dexter's arm and dragging him down the stairs, then plunging into the sea of people.
It wasn't easy for Dexter to make such a transition of environments, but the constant eye contact with Darcie helped get him right into the groove. At first it was some head nodding, but soon Dexter was jumping with the best of them.
As she watched, Darcie couldn't help but feel proud of Dexter. She had been watching him for a long time, and she knew he was mellow. And here he was, with her, and a huge dance party, and it appeared to her that Dexter was even enjoying himself.
Soon the music quieted down and an announcer came on. "Is everyone havin' a good time tonight?"
The club attendees roared.
"I thought so. You all ready for our main event?"
The party people were even louder this time.
"Then I am happy to introduce to you the cream of the new generation's DJ crop and our local DJ pride and joy, the queen of hard herself, Little Dark!"
Ravers everywhere went berserk, totally lost in either their drugs, alcohol, the moment, or a combination of the three.
Dexter watched as the mass of people opened like the sea before Moses in a path to the DJ booth. He felt something warm and slightly moist rub against his cheek.
"It's my turn. I'll meet you at my room when I'm done, 'kay? Please don't be too mad at me for not telling you... Hope you enjoy my music." Darcie said in Dexter's ear before she was swallowed by the river. She climbed atop the stage and placed the headphones around her neck. "Are you all ready to jump?
Everyone most obviously was.
"Then..." Darice pressed play on a record player, letting one earth shattering boom out before stopping it. "Jump!"
The party people obliged, including Dexter. Everything around him was pumping, jumping, flashing to a four by four beat. After a while, that's all that existed in her world. For the time being, he told himself that he needed to relax and enjoy life, just as his father would have wanted him to do, instead of worrying and crying about things that were beyond his control.
Dexter didn't realize how tired he was until the music paused. As he had promised, he trekked up the three flights of stairs and sat on a stool, watching the club from his perch as he waited.
"So, how did you like the show?" Darcie's happy voice was accompanied by two clunks on the table, then her arms wrapping around Dexter's waist from behind.
"It was amazing." Dexter bent his head around to face his captor.
Their eyes met, and Darice felt compelled to kiss the boy in her grasp, on the lips this time. But after she could feel the sparks on her lips fading, wanting to be alit once more. "I'm glad you liked it." Another quick kiss.
"You were right about this place." Dexter said, partly to himself. He could feel the warmth on his lips disappearing.
Darcie unwrapped her arms, easily slipping one hand's fingers between Dexter's. She turned around and unlocked the door, leading Dexter into her bedroom. "Sometimes you just need to get away... This is the best place to do that... Amazing things happen here... "
Dexter submitted, following and shutting the door behind him. Darice sat down on the bed; so did he, with another kiss. He slipped his free hand under Darcie's hair, knotting his fingers in the strands. "Yeah... Amazing things..." He tried to loosen his lips as the sat upon Darcie's.
Unable to control herself, Darcie placed her hands on Dexter's sides and pulled him on top of her, still passionately kissing.
That would be as far as they would go that night, but the sparks flew and lips and tongues slid against each other for hours before Darcie walked Dexter home, disappearing into the night after a quick kiss.
Dexter's home was dark and empty when he entered it, but a note on the table assured him that nothing was amiss; his mother was asleep and dinner was in the microwave. Only food and his nightly routine stood between him and dreams of a cute little girl with black hair that loved to DJ...
