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Everytime I see your face
Lightning flashes and lights up your eyes revealing all that you wanted to keep secret
Telling me all that you wanted me to hear yet were to scared to say
Making me fall for you like rain from the sky
And as you stand there I cant help but give you all my locked up dreams and feelings
As I'm sick of all the lies
And waiting for that one perfect line to light up the sky with all my secrets
So this time instead of waiting for that one perfect line
I'm through with all the lies
And fear
So as lightning flashes and strikes
Lighting up your eyes
And revealing see your secrets kept locked up in your chest
I tell you exactly how I feel
And just hope that your not like the rest
So tell me what you want to hear
Something sincere
For there is no perfect line or time
Just here and now
Tell me exactly how you feel
And let there be no shame
No insinceres
Just you and me
And all our secrets going away

This was pretty good and overall I really liked it =) Ohh, these lines were my favorite:

fell wrote:For there is no perfect line or time
Just here and now

Now, there were a few things you could have done to make it flow a little better. While some lines were long, others were very short. When you write, maybe try to keep all the lines within a certain range and if a line gets too long you could split it up. For example, you wrote:

fell wrote:Everytime I see your face
Lightning flashes and lights up your eyes revealing all that you wanted to keep secret
Telling me all that you wanted me to hear yet were to scared to say

Now the lines are great, you just need to reorganize a little so it would be more like this:

Everytime I see your face
Lightning flashed and lights up your eyes
Revealing all that you wanted to keep secret
Telling me all that you wanted me to hear
Yet were too scared to say

See how it flows more? I hope I helped out a bit!

Hey Fell *waves*

Everytime I see your face
Lightning flashes and lights up your eyes revealing all that you wanted to keep secret
Telling me all that you wanted me to hear yet were to scared to say

I don't like the opening line it seems a bit too sluggish. And the middle line cuts off the flow, there is also a lack of punctuation

Making me fall for you like rain from the sky
And as you stand there I cant help but give you all my locked up dreams and feelings
As I'm sick of all the lies

The middle line again seems awkward, not because of the length but the 'give you all my locked dreams or feelings' bit, It just didn't read right with me.

And waiting for that one perfect line to light up the sky with all my secrets
So this time instead of waiting for that one perfect line
I'm through with all the lies
And fear

I liked the last too lines.

So as lightning flashes and strikes
Lighting up your eyes
And revealing see your secrets kept locked up in your chest

Perhaps you could use much more describing words on the last line.

No insinceres insincerity
Just you and me
And all our secrets going away

Where are the secrets going away to?

This poem was very confusing and all over the place, I couldn't seem to understand fully what you were talking about. There is little to no punctuation in your poetry although your spelling except for one word was good. I'd like to reference you to a line in one of the reviews I've gotten about poetry courtesy of Kamas.

I'm going to use the Shrek analogy that I much liked to describe a poem.

Ogres have layers.

Now poems have layers too. Vocabulary, flow, and at the very center of that onion, is the idea/the message you want to get across. If you make a grocery list of words, your onion doesn't have a center. What do you end up with? A rotten onion and a hungry reader.

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.

Anger