Dear Mother

Dear Mother,

I have never had sex. I have never done drugs. I have never drank alcohol, but still you are the first person to accuse me of so. You don’t trust me. You don’t believe in me. You don’t have confidence in me. You aren’t pride of me. Life’s not fair, I know, but I have never done anything to cause you to think that I am a bad child. I go to youth group. I lead a bible study. I get excellent grades. I work at the library. I work in a nursery. Although you turn all of these into lies. At youth group I am doing drugs with my friends. In the park I am having sex. At school I could never compare to my brother’s perfection. At the library I am meeting secret guys. At the nursery I am getting drunk.
All of this you have made up in your sick and twisted head. When my sibling was doing real drugs, when he was destroying his life and throwing his grades down the toilet, you said nothing to anyone. You accuse me of these horrifying allegations; none of them are true, but you find a way to let the world know. All I have ever done was ached and searched for perfection, for your affection, beaming pride, and acceptance. You, my mother, can’t stand me because I am your daughter. The only girl out of five kids, and you can’t stand the ground I walk on.
Mother I will go away. I will sink to the depths of never-never land, but I promise you this: you will never forget me. You will spend the rest of your life wishing and yearning for something you threw away. I will be long gone; I will have long forgotten. At one time I was small and innocent; you killed it.

Sincerely,
A daughter who was only loved by her father

Oh, my! I hope this isn't true. In any event, I'll go through and fix a few things in red ...

Rascalover wrote:Dear Mother,

I have never had sex. I have never done drugs. I have never drunk alcohol, but still you are the first person to accuse me of doing so. You don’t trust me. You don’t believe in me. You don’t have confidence in me. You aren’t proud of me. Life’s not fair, I know, but I have never done anything to lead you to think that I am a bad child. I go to a youth group. I lead a bible study. I get excellent grades. I work at the library. I work in a nursery, but you turn all of these into lies. At youth group, I am doing drugs with my friends. In the park, I am having sex. At school, I could never compare to my brother’s perfection. At the library, I am meeting secret guys. At the nursery, I am getting drunk.
You have made up all of this in your sick, twisted head. When my brother was doing real drugs, when he was destroying his life and throwing his grades down the toilet, you said nothing to anyone. You accuse me of these horrifying things; none of them are true, but you find a way to let the world know. All I have ever done was ached and searched for perfection, for your affection, beaming pride, and acceptance. You, my mother, can’t stand me because I am your daughter. The only girl out of five kids, and you can’t stand the ground I walk on.
Mother, I will go away. I will sink to the depths of Never Never land, but I promise you this: you will never forget me. You will spend the rest of your life wishing and yearning for something you threw away. I will be long gone; I will have long forgotten. At one time I was small and innocent; you killed me.

Sincerely,
A daughter who was only loved by her father

Rascalover, your mother is your audience, is she not? You must understand that no matter how much you hate your mother, no matter how much you loathe her existence, you can speak comfortably around her. Unless you are Prince Charles, Prince Andrew, Prince Edward, or Princess Anne, your mother is probably not the Queen of England, and you may speak comfortably to her. Thus, your sentences needn't be so choppy and short; feel free to throw in a few commas and conjunctions to make some nice compound sentences. Also, I know the words "I am" give off a nice emphasis, but you can just say "I'm." I'm sure your mother will get the point.

I must say, I like the sarcasm at the end of the first paragraph. I also like the idea of writing a letter to your mother as a whole. Again, I do hope this isn't true. Good luck!

Hello, Rascal.

Abigail caught the mistakes I spotted, so now all I have to do is give my comments.

This was full of emotion and, all around, pretty sad. I've had those times when my mother accuses me of doing things I wasn't even thinking of doing, so I know how the MC feels. I think the mother is a horrible person for falsely accusing her daughter of these horrible things when the daughter was just trying to be the best she could be.

At the nursery I am getting drunk.

This is even a bit extreme. I feel that you put the contradiction there for a very good reason, to show us how absurd her mom really is. I like this line. Well, I've nothing else to say.

ReisePiecey!

This was really powerful and full of emotion. It really made me feel what the MC is on about. Sometimes I do think it may have been too formal but I loved it. The irony was great and I think you really got under the skin of the character.

Wow,
thanks you guys. Actually this is somewhat true. I just put a little more fiction in than reality. I have never done a piece like this... I was upset at the time, and wala I have made a wonderful piece of literature ahah. Well thanks for the awesome reviews.

Have an awesome day,
Tiffany