Young Writers Society

A rope, A gun, poison or knife.
Whatever was needed to take my life.
There was no angel to account for,
not even a knighthood boy,
to save me from harsh doings, to take my hand and run.
To watch her cry all night, what difference really would come?
I'd grabbed the chair and tied the rope, the damage is sadly done.

This is the only poem in my collection where it rhymes, so be kind when reviewing.
Oh, and i wrote this a while back so if it's not as great as my other work you'll know why.

I'm confused. Really, that's all I can say.

A rope, A gun, poison or knife.
Whatever was needed to take my life.
There was no angel to account for,
not even a knighthood boy,
to save me from harsh doings, to take my hand and run.
To watch her cry all night, what difference really would come?
I'd grabbed the chair and tied the rope, the damage is sadly done.

It starts, and it is pretty apparent that it's a poem about suicide. Okay, so far I'm with you. The next three lines are just as clear and present a good mood and understanding of the situation. But then the next line confuses me.

To watch her cry all night, what difference really would come?

Who is "her"? Why is she crying? What is the difference you're trying to make? I really like the rest of this, but the confusion of that line kind of ruins it for me. Especially since with the very next line you go back to the mood and idea of the beginning of the poem. If you just clarified that one line, it would be very good.

WOw! Nice representation... Hope you will agree in some of my suggestions.

GagaBowie wrote:A rope, A gun, poison or knife,

PLEASE, observe parallelism

GagaBowie wrote:Whatever was needed to take my life.
There was no angel to account for,
not even a knighthood boy,
to save me from harsh doings, to take my hand and run.
To watch her cry all night, what difference really would come?
I'd grabbed the chair and tied the rope, the damage is sadly done.

well, the 'her' part is meant to represent someone who is aware i'm going to kill myself.
It is supposed to be my best friend and even though she is in tears about the entire situation, i still proceed. I hope
this helps.

This was interesting, only a few little nit picks:

GagaBowie wrote:A rope, A gun, poison or knife. (Lower case the A on A gun.)
Whatever was needed to take my life.
There was no angel to account for,
not even a knighthood boy,
to save me from harsh doings, to take my hand and run.
To watch her cry all night, what difference really would come?
I'd grabbed the chair and tied the rope, the damage is sadly done.

Thats it, the rhyming was a bit off but it was still good. Keep writing !

-M.

GagaBowie wrote:A rope, A gun, poison or knife.
Whatever was needed to take my life.
There was no angel to account for,
not even a knighthood boy,
to save me from harsh doings, to take my hand and run.
To watch her cry all night, what difference really would come?
I'd grabbed the chair and tied the rope, the damage is sadly done.

I love it, short and sweet. The rhyming gives it a kind of macabre, dark humour element to it. Anyways I loved it so keep it up!!! It reminded me of a Tim Burton movie. I hope this doesn't reflect too much on real life though!!!
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rough time i see, keep writing you should add to it!