My heart was beating so loudly in my chest; I thought it should burst out. I pushed through the doors, urging my feet forward. I could feel the momentum pulling back my long hair, sweat dripping from my forehead. Just a bit more…
I ran straight into the room full of expectant people, the door opening with a bang. Talk about a flashy entrance. The small church I've known since I was four was decorated nicely, large bows made of some see through fabric stuck to the seats. It always had that light, welcoming glow to it, like when Dad preached. Only now, it felt really menacing. The people in the seats dressed even nicer. All the eyes were on me, piercing – normally it would've made me extremely uncomfortable, but now I didn't mind them. I minded only one person. Him. At last.
The face I waited to see was twisted in an uncharacteristic grimace. It was funny seeing his golden hair all combed like that.
Mathew looked miserable.
Even if I felt a little guilty before, all those feelings vanished now. Mathew was unhappy – how could that ever be a good thing?
He was standing at the altar, forced into a stuffy tuxedo that looked good on him – though I knew he hated it. He never wore suits or tuxes or anything. Just jeans and a T shirt were perfect for him.
His clear blue eyes met mine, and I skidded to a halt. I breathed heavily, suddenly embarrassed of the sweat and my loud breathing. I was wearing my favorite pair of jeans – for good luck – and an old T-shirt that has seen better days. Ridiculous as that may sound, I felt a little underdressed. Besides, what was the proper attire for breaking into a wedding and stealing the groom? Hesitantly, I gestured with my head at the door.
A small smile stretched across Mathew's mouth. He spoke what we both thought at that moment. "Finally," he said, jumping down from the altar. He turned around to wave at the surprised priest. I tried hard not to laugh. He grabbed my hand, and I could feel his warm fingers lacing through mine. Mathew looked at one of the aisles briefly. "I told you I'm not marrying her, Mom. Tell Courtney I'm sorry."
People were starting to get up from their chairs, murmurs spreading like fire. I tugged on his hand. "Mathew," I hissed.
He looked at me once, ruffling my dark hair. "Thanks for coming," he whispered.
And we started running, away from the chapel, away from everyone and everything until we reached the parking lot. The church had to be stuck in the middle of the park – I know, completely crazy, right? – so we were safe. For now. I couldn't stop my heavy breathing.
Mathew grinned at me, my favorite wide smile. "We made it!" His voice had an exuberant edge to it. He held me from under my arms, like you hold a toddler, and swung me around. "We made it!" he shouted again.
Despite my breathlessness, I giggled as the world swirled around me. It was good to see him this happy. It felt good.
He put me down, gripping my hand again. I was the one to break the hold between our hands first, leaning down on my knees as an excuse. "You have to hurry," I reminded him. I heard footsteps coming from the parking space and didn't look up. I knew what my older sister's footsteps sounded like.
She flew straight in to his arms.
I glanced down at my feet, trying to pretend the scene was not breaking my heart. Even with the familiar, numb ache in my chest, I really was happy for them. I knew how much Natalie loved Mathew. I knew he would make her happy, that he would take good care of her and that she would do the same in return. Of course I knew: they'd been the perfect couple for two years now.
It didn't matter that I saw him first. It didn't matter I talked to him first, that I fell in love first. None of that mattered, and why should it? They were prefect for each other. I pretended that knowledge did not run through me like a knife.
I tried to give them some space, fidgeting to the side. After a few minutes, I thought it was necessary to look up. Anne had tears running down her pink cheeks. Her green eyes glistened with joy."I can't believe it," she said as she cried silently.
Mathew rested his cheek on the top of her head, his eyes closed. "Forever and ever, Babe. That's how long we're stuck together."
Tears burned my throat. Okay, so I looked up too quickly. I stuck my gaze on a certain spot in the concrete. Oh, please let this terrible moment be over…
Suddenly my sister's fragile arms were around me. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, Becky! You're the best little sister in the whole world!"
I giggled a little, resting my head on her shoulder. "You know I am," I agreed, working to keep the bitter edge out of my tone. After two entire years of practice, I was becoming quite good. I hugged her back for one instant, putting all my emotions into the hug. Then I took in a big breath. "Okay, now go. You'll miss the train. You." I looked up at Mathew.
He was doing what I was doing before: looking down to give us time alone. When he heard me addressing him, he looked up, his deep blue eyes throwing me off balance. I cleared my throat, trying to get my thoughts back on track.
"Your parents are going to look all over for you two. Go to Vegas now." Mathew nodded reflexively. I kissed my sister's wet cheek. She didn't break the hug, still holding me close. I smiled weakly. "Sorry I can't be your maid of honor. Send me pics from the wedding, 'Kay? I love you."
She squeezed me harder, a little sob breaking through. "I love you too, baby sister," she said, stifling a sob.
I handed her to Mathew, feeling a little like I'd just lost something important. I was surprised to find my eyes brimming with tears. "Take good care of her," I said, even though I knew he would. Mathew nodded, eyes bright, but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at Natalie. Even now. After all this time. I couldn't help the little breaking sounds my heart made inside me. I wiped my tears anyways, acting as if I'm brave.
Natalie waved at me behind her back as they ran to the car.
I heard the engine come to life in my sister's old bug, and they were off. I sat on the concrete, the warm spring wind blowing across my face, almost as if it was trying to comfort me. "Well, shit," I said and started crying.
my name's Eddie and I'm gonna' take a stab at reviewing this for you today.
