Juliet diary entry (Romeo and Juliet)

We had to write a diary entry for English about Romeo and Juliet. I've decided to write as though I'm Juliet. I've just this second found out we could of written in modern english. No way I'm changing it now!

I love thee Romeo, a Montague, the name of my foe. O Romeo! I list rite, `twixt us tilts love, doth thou contract? Thou suit. Wherefore is our love forbid? O gentle Romeo, thy beauty is more than I devise. My heart beats for thou, I joy thee. Do thou joy me? O Romeo, whither art thee? Art thou in the airy region, beside the night’s candles? O Romeo, I shall find thee anon. Our love ‘tis not rash nor unadvised. My love is deep as a sea of blooming flowers. O Romeo, our love shall be stronger than a long sword, deeper than the sea. We contract our love, with a single rose, kissed by two lovers. O Romeo we will be together. O Romeo, hear my desire, wherefore our families art foes? Hear me, Romeo, hear me call thy name. I call thou, my lover. O Romeo, thy lips on mine, thou wooing I. Thou art stout and soon-speeding. O Romeo, I cry thy name. For my heart seeks thee, my foe.

Hello there, Waterlilygirl!

I'm not very good at interpreting archaic English, but this was readable (to me, at least). Anyways, it seems to me that you've put too many "O Romeo"s in this paragraph! Juliet was either saying "O Romeo" this or "O Romeo" that, and I think you could say something else, like "Beautiful, gentle, Romeo!" or something equally corny. ;D

I think you did a pretty good job though --- keep writing!

-Rosie =]

Hey, good job overall but your writing it like a letter to Romeo, yea yea i know its a diary entery but it seems to muck like a letter.

Like i said good job!!!

RiS

I really enjoyed reading this. I am a big Shakespeare fan, and so of course I loved it. I can't write well in the old english, but you did a great job at it. I actually love how you wrote her diary entry as if it were a letter to Romeo. That seems like what a lot of teenage girls who think they are madly in love would do. Ha, it's awesome that you wrote it like this. I don't know why anyone would even attempt to write it in modern english. It just wouldn't do Shakespeare's work any justice. Again, great job!

Hey there!
I could not believe I understood this English. Ha ha. I like it!
Although this is supposed to be Juliet's diary, I agree to the others that say it seems like a letter to Romeo.

Keep writing, okay? I'd be reading more! XD

-KAT <3

Hello, Waterlily.

This was well written, though at times I could not understand a single thing Juliet was saying. There are, however, too many "O Romeo" bits in this entry. Being that the entry is so short, O Romeo becomes quite repetitive and borders on annoying after some time.

Our love ‘tis not rash nor unadvised.

This is my favorite line. There's just something about it that makes it wonderful.

I didn't see any mistakes in this entry, which is awesome. You are a very good writer and I give you many kudos for writing in Old English. Well, I should be on my way. Keep writing.


ReisePiecey!

O Romeo! You doth say it too much!

I liked this but as the other's already said, switch up the O Romeo's. It will improve this piece a lot.

You could add so much more to this. You could talk about Paris, her betrothed. Her relationship with her father, her mother, her nurse/nanny lady. I mean this is supposed to be her diary, her deepest darkest thoughts and feelings; not her fluffy romeo talk, which I'm not saying don't include just don't let it be the main focus the entire time!

Also remember Juliet is about 13 years old, I mean were you betrothed and in love with someone else at 13? Really dive into how she must have felt. Maybe talk about the party where they meet, talk about that moment their eyes lock. I don't know about you but in my diary I describe people, so I mean if one look had me hooked on this guy I would talk about his looks. The fun part about that is you can play around with it, there is no set look of Romeo. (Although I will ALWAYS see Leonardo DiCaprio hehe.)

But overall good job! I love Romeo and Juliet and Shakespeare. Good on ya!

Love and stuff,
Rory