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Just Some Random Amusing Quotes (some light expletives)

Jiggity · 2006-01-11T06:07:05Z

Do you ever find quotes that are too big for your signature space? Or do you have an abundance of amusing quotes that you dont know what to do with? No? Well I do, so Im going to put random quotes that I find amusing in this thread. Feel free to add your own. Stewie: Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I'm expected to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside. Meg (about Peter being retarded): I can never go to school again! Stewie: Oh, yes, Meg, yes-yes yes, everything was going swimmingly for you until this. Yes, yes, THIS is the thing that will ruin your reputation, not your years of grotesque appearance, or your awkward social graces, or that Felix Ungerish way you clear your sinuses, no no no, it's THIS. Do you hear yourself talk? I might kill you tonight. Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby. Stewie: What did you just say? Lois: Stewie, stop fussing. Stewie: Pipe down Lois. (Slaps guy on head.) Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you're my bitch. (Lois finds a note in Chris's pocket) Lois: Huh, what's this? You know Stewie, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris's pocket. She's more respectful than that. Stewie: Whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch Lois: Stewie why don't you play in the other room? Stewie: Why don't you burn in hell? Stewie: I'm the dog. I'm well read and have a diverse stock portfolio. But I'm not above eating grass clippings and regurgitating them on the rug. Brian: I'm a pompous little antichrist who will abandon my plans for world domination when I grow up and wind up settling with a rough trick named Jim. Diane Simmons: Tom, I'm getting late word that you're a petty, jealous closet-case. Tom Tucker: Bit of breaking news, we now go live to Diane being a bitch. Diane. Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him lol, I find these amusing. Plz feel free to post amusing stuff.