--Chapter One--
Just incredible. Amazing, this boy that walked through my door one evening. Just another party, or so I thought. Just another group of my friends and their friends drinking the night away with loud music and grinding on each other with beer pong going on in the kitchen. The lighting was low, like usually beings there isn't adequate lighting in such a cheap trailer house. When he walked through that door, it seemed as if I could see him as clear as day. He was blessed with perfection. Eyes as blue as the ocean. Skin as soft as a baby's bottom. Just the right height. He lucked out with a baby face and just the right amount of facial hair to make him have the look of a man. Topless, he came to my party. Topless and confident. He was gorgeous and I was shy. He took an interest in me almost as soon as he set eyes on me. I had a boyfriend, but this boy, this man.. there was something about him I couldn't resist. I couldn't figure out why he was attracted to me. All I saw in myself was plain brown hair and a boring body. I knew I had to keep him interested. I knew, he was the one. Even his voice intoxicated me. The way he carried himself around my shitty trailer was inviting to me. I couldn't stop looking at him, staring maybe. I had to show off, make him want me as much as I craved him. I danced until I was sweating, I played beer pong like a professional, I made out with girls that were willing, and I drank as much as I could. I kept him watching me the whole night. It was as if I was a different person all for one boy. It was past four in the morning, I called into work and went to bed. This beautiful piece of art followed me into my room, uninvited. I refused to cuddle, I refused to touch, for I was a loyal girlfriend to the jerk of a boyfriend that lived hours away from me. I woke up with Chad holding me tight, he was warm. I was upset but, I didn't move. The most comfortable I'd been in years. The most warmth I've felt all my life, on the inside. He had me and I knew it.
***
It wasn't long before I ended up breaking it off with the jerk of a cowboy I called my boyfriend. Only a week or so, I'd say. I wasn't going to break it off because I met such a perfect man in the beginning. But when he didn't call me or text me for almost four days, I told him it was over. What kind of boyfriend just doesn't contact their loved one for almost four days? I thought to myself. That day me and my three roommates had yet another party. I made damn sure Chad was invited although I didn't have his phone number. He showed up, just like I had hoped. I was saucy by the time he walked in the door and all over one of my roommates who just so happened to be a lesbian. Once he was there I flirted with him all night long. We partied until the sun came up. Again, I had to call into work due to my party fever. Some how in my drunken stupor, my roommate and I ended up hooking up.. intimately. It was awkward for me, I'm not a lesbian and had never been with a girl before her.. or since. She was good at what she was doing and Chad enjoyed every second of it. Him and I cuddled that night and I was perfectly happy to do so. The warmth against my body was incredible. It felt like I perfectly fit into his side, like I was meant to be there in a way. I made sure to get his number this time. I wanted him, all of him, to be mine. I was addicted to him like he was a drug and I barely knew him. It was like my life finally started.
Every party we had, him and his crew came and we held a lot of parties at our place. Soon it was as if we were a part of the crew. The first time I had sex with Chad, I wasn't expecting much. I figured somebody as good looking as him, as hilarious as him, and as outgoing and fun as he was.. couldn't be good under the sheets as well. He proved me wrong. That boy was definably blessed in places people call forbidden. He was well endowed and knew damn well what to do with it. The best I had ever had in my room and believe me, I use to be a bit of a slutty girl. Eager to do anybody after a few drinks. He opened a door for me though. He made me want him and only him every night of the week and it wasn't long before we were inseparably. The only times we weren't apart were when one of us were working. It was as if we were magnets, I moved he moved. Little did he know, I was falling for him fast. Faster then I thought possible. He warned me not to get attached. He told me that he was unstable. He told me he liked me a lot but I was going to get hurt. He was right, I did get hurt and so did he.
***
Some friends he had. They hated us together, they hated me for how much time I spent with him. I tried to see him less, stay at my trailer more rather then spend the night with him. I tried giving him space, but it only made things worse. He began to stay with me more instead of at his home with his buddies. He started to ditch his friends for me. Ask me to come pick him up from a day at the river. I would, but everybody started to resent me. All his friends, his family, people that I had grown close to. I didn't know what to do. I tried to talk to him about it, but he would just shrug it off and tell me he didn't care what they thought. He wanted to spend as much time with me as possible. He wanted to see me every morning before work. I wasn't about to argue with him, I wanted the same thing. I was over come with joy that he wanted me just as much. I was in love with my head in the clouds. We had almost been together for three months when it happened. The day I had been regretting since the time he told me he was unstable. It was the weekend of his birthday. He was purposely being a terrible boyfriend and I couldn't figure out why. Ignoring me, ditching me, just being generally rude. It went on for a week before it happened. I wasn't invited to party with him on his birthday. I wasn't invited to go anywhere with him. He kept making plans with me and failing to follow through. The break up was coming. The ending of a perfect life together, or so I thought. It didn't last long for everything to come down on me at once. Chad called me wasted and broke up with me because, it's what his friends wanted. A close friend died the very next day by suicide. My grandfather ended up in the hospital yet again. I had no money, no job, and lost the love of my life on top of it all. I said fuck it, packed my shit, and ran off to Ohio to live with my older brother, Brian. A new start, a new beginning, or so I thought. After my friends funeral I drove 19 hours to get to Ohio, but my last night I spent with him. I wouldn't even kiss him, in the beginning. Seeing him, face to face, was pain enough for me. I figured I'd never see him again though. I had to spend one more evening with him. One last kiss.
It wasn't as terrible as I thought it would be. It was kind of nice actually. To be with the love of my life again, even if it was only for one night. We cuddled, we kissed, we made love. It was like we were peas and carrots again, as Tom Hanks would say. The morning came too fast. I woke up extremely early for the long drive to Ohio from good ol' North Dakota. I cried as soon as I walked out the door and he didn't attempt to stop me. I left my heart behind and I don't know if people know this or not, but you can't live without your heart. I was quite literally ripped in half. I cried almost the entire way. Every heartful song that came on the radio, the tears would run down my cheek. I didn't even feel like myself. I wanted to turn around and beg at his feet to take it back, not knowing he wanted the same thing.
***
It took a week before Chad admitted he never wanted me to leave, that he never meant to break up with me. I hated every minute of being there. Living with four children and my brother's wife was like hell. She wasn't so bad when they weren't together, her and Brian. I actually liked her when they weren't together. She talked a lot, but I never minded it. She was sweet and kind to me but, as soon as Brian would walk through the door the bitching started. I hated how she always nagged and bitched at him, beings he was the only one to ever bring bread to the table. Four kids, a wife, and his sister he had to provide for.. what made her think she could yell at him like that? Especially in front of the children. Those kids, I love them a ton, but they drove me up a wall and made me want to jump off the top. The oldest was only four, one of the four were constantly crying. It was never quiet in the house unless they were getting into something forbidden, such as my bathroom. I don't even know how much money I spent in a month just on make-up because my niece loved to get into it when I was gone. Chad and I talked every minute of every day. We decided to wait for each other until I could come back. We were both under the impression it would be months before I could return to North Dakota, maybe even a year. The thought killed me, being away from him for so long. We began doing anything to feel closer, sending photos to each other, dirty videos, you name it. Things I never thought I would do with anybody.
Living with my brother continued to get worse. He used me constantly, I couldn't find a job to save my life, and the kids ruined many of my things and my money from my parents was running out fast because of it. I would force myself to sleep until 3 in the afternoon just so I wouldn't have to deal with the kids and their screaming. I had to do something. I started looking for jobs even harder. I applied at thirty places without a single call back and that's when I gave up on Ohio. I called my mother and told her of the horrible children and how my brother used me. I told her how I had to babysit every single day for free and sometimes for 8 hours or more at a time. She agreed it wasn't working considering McDonald's wasn't even hiring in the area. It was settled, I was coming home.. soon. Chad was ecstatic when I told him the news. I planned to get there as soon as possible and stayed with him the first two nights, although my mother didn't know the love I had for Chad for almost a month after I returned. I kept him a secret from her for many reasons. I thought she would judge me for taking him back so easily. I knew she wouldn't understand how strong my feelings towards this man were. If she were to find out that he was the main reason I wanted to come back, I knew she wouldn't help me come home so soon. I was coming home and couldn't stop smiling with excitement.
*****
but I also feel it was rushed and that there could be some dialog. The beginning bothered me a little bit because I feel that the only parts you really described were the, for lack of a better word, "dirty" parts. I think this has the potential to be a really good story and I can't wait to see where you're headed with it!