Monster under my bed

Take my hand
And I'll take yours
As we walk beneath
The wooden floors
We'll kill the monster
That scares you at night
Don't worry my child
I'll get rid of the fright
We'll huddle together
And hope he's not there
And if he is not
We'll look under the stair
But fear not, my child
For I promise you this
If ever we find him
Well, you've got the gist

----------------------------------------
Okay bare with me because I wrote that on the spot...

I like it! A lot! I'm not usually one for poems, but this was very interesting. 'cept for one thing:

Well, you've got the gist

This is kind of an odd way to end it. I mean, it's like you're just going 'Well, I'm done,' to the rest of it. Doesn't seem like a sufficient ending to me. (Although I don't know a whole lot about the whole poetry thing) Keep writing!

Thanks heaps!
I know the last line is a little weird but it was difficult to find a way to end it, especially so that it still rhymed.

Take my hand
And I'll take yours

I like the beginning of this. It makes me want to read more of it and it suggest that whoever is asking this is either a relative or someone rather close to the person.

As we walk beneath
The wooden floors

I dont get this bit. Walking beneath the wooden floors? Is that even possible and if it is tell me how.

We'll kill the monster
That scares you at night

I like this bit.

If ever we find him
Well, you've got the gist

I like the ending of this. Where the parent reassures the child that he/she/ he-she shall protect the child no matter what even to the point of killing this monster.

I like the voice portrayed in the poem and the story. Monster here reminds me of the Bogeyman when I was 5 -.-, I like the rhythm and most of the rhyming.

Keep Writing, Anger

hey smashles!
I loved your poem, it's got a good rhyming scheme and it's an awesome poem that you "just wrote on the spot!" I really don't have much to point out here, everyone has already addressed the ending, but I guess I'll throw my two cents in. Even though the ending does sound a little weird, I like it. I do think that's the weakest part of your poem, but hey it works.

My favorite part of the poem was:

Take my hand
And I'll take yours
As we walk beneath
The wooden floors

I'm going to take a wild guess here and say that walking beneath the wooden floors means that the narrator and the child are in the basement?

Thats all I really have to say, keep up the good work!
-SodapopLunchbox

I like this poem, but why is it called the "Monster under my bed"? It takes place in the basement (I guess... ) And under the stairs.

We'll kill the monster
That scares you at night
Don't worry my child
I'll get rid of the fright

My favorite verse.
~Spiderman~

Thanks everyone for the positive comments!

sodapoplunchbox wrote:I'm going to take a wild guess here and say that walking beneath the wooden floors means that the narrator and the child are in the basement?

You're right. They are in the basement.

spiderman wrote:why is it called the "Monster under my bed"?

Okay, I don't really know either... I guess I kind of just randomly made up a title for it even though it has nothing to do with the bed.