Cherish

What we take for granted is more than you'd believe

Often what we take for granted is everything we need

He took his dearest love for granted every single day

And yet it came a shock to him when she didn't stay

If you've ever taken love for granted, one day you'll know why

Pain and sorrow feel eternal when that loved one dies

Heed these words, these very words- although they are cliche-

Cherish liberty, life, and love every single day!

Hi, I'm bluewaterlily, and I'll be reviewing your poem today. Your poem was good and it had a good theme that was conveyed strongly. Your poem also had a nice flow and rhyme scheme. And you ended the poem on a nice note.Though, I did catch one error.

What we take for granted is more than you'd believe

Often what we take for granted is everything we need

He took his dearest love for granted every single day

And yet it came a shock to him when she didn't stay

If you've ever taken love for granted, one day you'll know why

Pain and sorrow feels eternal when that loved one dies Feels should be feel.

Heed these words, these very words- although they are cliche-

Cherish liberty, life, and love every single day! I love these two lines; nice way to end the poem!

Okay, so I thought this was nice.
The part when you talk about a 'he' is a bit confusing though, because you transfer from telling about his love that left to a whole different concept in just two lines - so I'm thinking you could either elaborate or put a dot there, so there would be some sort of pause.
I love the endign lines. It's really nice and well written in my mind. It flows, and I like how the rhymes are not the usual rhymes everyone uses
Good job!
Ofir

It's true, your rhymes are a little more unique and interesting. I enjoyed the slant rhyme of believed and need.

However, your overall theme is delivered about as vague as a fortune cookie's. All of it is a lead up, opening the wrapper, crack open the cookie, and then is says: "Cherish liberty, life, and love every single day!" Without specific examples, emotion conveyed, or images, your entire poem could be reduced to that one line and we wouldn't have lost much.

Heed these words, these very words- although they are cliche-

That's a throwaway line. Telling us to heed the words adds no effect to just telling us the words. It in fact takes away the effect because you admit that the words are boring and cliché. The thing about clichés is that they're so trite that we don't really care for them without an attractive spin.

He took his dearest love for granted every single day
And yet it came a shock to him when she didn't stay
If you've ever taken love for granted, one day you'll know why
Pain and sorrow feel eternal when that loved one dies

And this part confused me. He took her for granted, so she left and he didn't know why. But if we take love for granted, we'll soon find out because the one we love will die(?). Leaving voluntarily because you are unhappy is different from death (usually). Link these ideas better or separate them.

So my advice is: ground your ideas in reality. Give us something to wrestle with: images, emotion, interesting thoughts, anything evocative. And really thrust it in, don't just graze the surface of the subject. Maybe get us into someone's mind, their actions, their emotions, their thoughts.