The Burning Light

I had a bit of help for this one. Hope you like it. Love it, loath it, live it, burn it.

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I feel the light inside me dim,
As I know she is not there.
By my side I wish she was,
But not until we meet again.

Slowly I feel the light go out,
As I know I am left alone.
How much more can I stand,
While half of me is missing?

But I know the light will shine again,
But never with the glow of love.
It will glow with a fierce strength,
Fuelled by hatred and revenge.

But now I only feel the sorrow,
For the loss of her.
And as I tear my gaze away,
I leave from where she now lays.

It was B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L ! I think you did a pretty good job!


SP

Hey there, Coter! Mizzle here to review. ^__^

Just a quick nitpick before we begin with the full review:

RepublicOfCoter wrote:Slowly I feel the light go out,
As I know I am left alone.
How much more can I stand,
While half of me is missing. There should be a question mark here instead of a period.

Honest mistake. ^^

Overall:
If I'm guessing right, this is about a man whose true love, girlfriend, wife, or someone like that dies, or is murdered, judging by the line that says he'd be fueled to get revenge. Tell me if I'm mistaken, though.

So, it was a nice idea ^^ and you pulled it off in an acceptable way. I don't usually like poems like this one, because it seems the subject is so cliche nowadays, but you pulled it off very nicely. I didn't notice any major, jaw-dropping mistakes, either. There was just that one ultra tiny nitpick I had, which I pointed out already.

Nice work.
-Mizz-

Hey ROC,
I LOVED THIS POEM, i loved the theme and the wording, just to be clear was it that she died cos that's what i got from it, i loved the length and the spacing, great poem 10/10 i loved it, it made me feel a little in my life.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

-CaptianRandom

Hey Coter,

I really like this poem. The wording was really good and there was a bit of imagery. The flow was pretty easy to follow. I liked the way you explained the loss of the person. Not my favorite poem but one of them..

Keep Writing.

Anger,

I really enjoyed this poem! Like the other one I reviewed, this isn't dark too. Its got a brightness that seems to shine through the darkness. I love how you've detailed your love and feelings for her gone so delicately and almost pin-pointed your emotions. Its got a good ending when you reveal she's gone, and then you go on to say 'the light will shine again', I'm guessing you mean you'll meet again, really loved that part even though there was a hint of sadness. You have captured emotions beautifully in this poem and again, I love how its not too dark! Beginning to become a fan of your work...
keep writing this stuff - its good!

I
LOVE IT!!!

Heya.
I just wanted to say that i read your poem-- and i loved it to pieces
It had imagery and was very well worded.
It explained the loss of a loved one terrifically.

Keep writing.
Love Georgie XXxxXX

IT'S AWESOME!!!
I loved the imagery, the descriptive language and the emotion. There is absolutely nothing to criticise, and I suppose my only regret is that I can't do anything to help
Thank you so much, and God bless,
Ignis(:

Amazing. Simply and absolutely amazing. I wish I could help, but I can't. It's beautiful. Well done, and keep writing!

I feel the light inside me dim,
As I know she is not there.
By my side I wish she was,
But not until we meet again. You use 'but' and 'as i' too many times in this poem

Slowly I feel the light go out,
As I know I am left alone. --redundant
How much more can I stand,
While half of me is missing? --you upset the rhyming scheme here

But I know the light will shine again,
But never with the glow of love.
It will glow with a fierce strength,
Fueled by hatred and revenge.

But now I only feel the sorrow,
For the loss of her.
And as I tear my gaze away,
I leave from where she now lays

Kind of cliche. Not a bad idea thoughKeep writing

Oh, wow. This was beautiful. The flow was fine, the rhyming doesn't matter. It's the imagery that makes this poem so beautiful. And sad. I loved it. *clicks 'like'* It is amazing, and I'm afraid to say I can't really help. I feel you've done the best you could here, and this is the result. And what a beautiful result it is.

Thank you for the beautiful poetry and never stop writing.

~Scar.