They're all Killing Me...

They're all Killing Me...


Standing there on the hill
Hearing the waves crush against each other
Feeling the sharp stones beneath me
I let the tears once again run free
I let them fall down my face
Bringing the memories
Of me and you back again


I feel your touch
Your lips on mine
I hear your voice
I see your smile
I wish you were still here
But I've only got memories
Of how it used to be
And they're all killing me...


Back then I could still smile
Back then I felt safe
'Cause you were by my side
You were my angel
You were my love
But now all that's gone
You died
And left me here all alone


I feel your touch
Your lips on mine
I hear your voice
I see your smile
I wish you were still here
But I've only got memories
Of how it used to be
And they're all killing me...


I still have the picture
In front of my eyes
You died in my arms
I was lost and helpless
At that time


I wish it never happened
I want to rewind the time
My soul died with you
I'm empty and alone
You were everything I had


So I'm standing here
On this cold, dark night
Waiting for death
It's the only way to meet again


I feel your touch
Your lips on mine
I hear your voice
I see your smile
I wish you were still here
But I've only got memories
Of how it used to be
And they're all killing me...


I close my eyes
I stop the tears
And jump...
Into the space beneath me
My last thoughts go to you
"I love you" I whisper
We'll meet soon


I feel your touch
Your lips on mine
I hear your voice
I see your smile
I wish you were still here
But I've only got memories
Of how it used to be
And they're all killing me...


We'll meet again soon...


Yeah, Yeah, Yeah...Oooh...
Why does life have to be so unfair,
Why did you have to leave without a goodbye?
Why did you have to disappear forever?
Isn't there a law to not let the ones
That are in love die?



I feel your touch
Your lips on mine
I hear your voice
I see your smile
I wish you were still here
But I've only got memories
Of how it used to be
And they're all killing me...

They're all killing me...




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Hey guys I hope you liked it. This song is supposed to be a Gothic-Rock-Metal something in the lines of
Nightwish, Within Temptation, Evanescence and Paramore...
Is it any good? In what ways can I improve it?
Please comment...Criticise...all opinions are welcome....
I hope that I didn't bore you and that my song isn't that bad...I worked on it for four days I know
it's not that long....

Thanks guys for everything....hope you review and leave a comment:)

i really liked the feeling of sorrow i got from it, and i only have a few things to say against it. nearer the beginning and middle it felt like you said "dead" a lot. try going to dictionary.com and go to the thesaurus and put "dead" into the search bar it comes up with a ton of other words that mean the same thing, it's awesome!!

and another thing, you might try calming down the genre so write like two versions of it the hard-goth and a softer one that sounds more sad and thoughtful. anyway just an idea.
great job!!

Hey the song seems pretty depressing and show the blatant theme or sorrow, depression and loss. It also shows the feelings and thoughts of lots of people dealing with loss and the grieving, the feeling that the only way to get close to somebody you've lost is through death. The lyrics seem to flow pretty well apart from the mentioned frequent use of death which makes the song seem more repetetive and robotic to read and although the rest of the song is good you get easily tired of 'death' over and over. I think the song is good one and very deep albeit slightly depressing. Well done.

Hola! So I do believe you chose a very appropriate genre for this song. The whole goth ballad idea works well with the lyrics and their tone.

Anyways, firstly I completely disagree with how you thought it wasn't very long. This song is actually pretty long in my opinion, but it's good. I had a little trouble at first identifying verses and choruses, but in the end I got it. It also seemed you put a bridge in it too which is awesome because usually that's my favorite part of a song and sometimes they aren't there.

Secondly, I think after the second chorus, the lines that begin with "I still have the picture" seem a little longer than your other verses you have. They're all different amounts of lines which may cause trouble with rhythm. I guess it just all depends on the way you decide how you want the music.

Also in the same stanza that begins "I still have the picture" I don't think that it is necessary to say "at that time" at the end of it. Then in the next stanza when you mention time it seems a little repetitive.

Yep, so I think it has a great chorus and concept. Definitely put some music to it and go!

Hiya Ikafe. I gotta say, I can relate an itty bit to the song. But I did find one nit-pick.

Ikafe wrote:Hearing the waves crush Try crash. Crush doesn't quite sound right. against each other

That's it.

Ikafe wrote: I hope that I didn't bore you and that my song isn't that bad...I worked on it for four days I know
it's not that long...

No it didn't bore me. Also, not that long? I agree with Thehobbitgangster. It is pretty long. Keep writing.
~Ladypurple.

I like the idea of a gothic-rockish-metalish song. These are good lyrics, but not for the goth part. It's more of an emo song. When I saw the words "...and jump" that made m think of suicide. That is not goth. That is emo. So maybe this could be an emo-rockish-metalish song. Just not goth. Very good though. I really want to hear what the song's like with instruments and the voice.

I really love the imagery and the details at the beginning in the first verse. My only advice is for the second verse, where you just write "you died". It feels a little too blunt and stuck in. Maybe singing it sounds okay, but just reading in, mabye you could find a way to write that in with a little smoother transition. But otherwise, I liked it a lot and i could hear it as a real song!