That was so lovely, you put so much emotion into it and made it beautiful. I loved the idea of the comparison to the robot, made you understand how misplaced the little girl felt with being in a coma. I didn't really understand this line: I think I can see the light over the edge, or is that just me being stupid. >.< Overall lovely poem (:
You had some punctuation errors, but other than that...I literally wanted to cry. It's so sad, but so well-written and beautiful! The "catching breath like fireflies" was really great--I could really see it in my mind's eye. I also liked the title. Good work!
If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work. "Can't work today. Still queer."
seeing this tag and going "oh what's this? :)" then getting slapped in the face with shady's good grammar is the worst thing that's ever happened to me — SilverNight
Laura x
