Yeah, I see you. Sitting in the back of the room,
hoping we’ll all just pass over the glaze in your eyes.
Hiding under that over-sized sweat shirt of yours. You
feel invisible but my eyes aren't fooled.
Do you remember when we were little, and I used
to tell you my Sponge Bob Square Pants eraser was
better then your Patrick Starfish? When getting high
meant swinging until our toes touched the sky?
What happened between then and now?
What made it so hard to come to school clean?
The adrenaline we used to receive from games of
Lava Monster is now replaced by the fear of getting
caught for the vodka in that little coffee mug you're holding.
Do you remember how scared we used to be of getting a detention?
How sympathetic we would feel for that poor sobbing
kid getting sent out into the hall? But God, at least
that wasn’t us. Now you don’t even give a damn whether
or not they realize you’ve been skipping third period for a week.
Consequences mean nothing to you now because you’re
invincible to everything the worlds gonna throw at you.
Bring it on you say, but I know you don't mean it. It's just a facade
of brightly painted nails and eyes with too much mascara. An army
made up of quick responses and witty remarks. An act.
You are so beautiful, you don’t need him, so put the knife
down. I'm begging you. Leave your poor skin alone so
maybe for the first time in this month of eighty degree
weather you won’t have to wear long sleeves.
Lock the bottle of pills up and don’t think about them,
because they aren’t an escape plan honey. Do you remember
when all we used to talk about was who’s Pokemon was better?
About what Cabbage Patch doll we wanted for our birthday?
Now all the conversation revolves around is oh God did you
hear about Heather/ Bridget/ Lindsey?
And who’s pregnant/ depressed/ hospitalized? None of the
gossip fills your void though, it's just words. Nothing substantial
enough to sew up your wounds, strong enough to mend your tearing seems.
We didn’t used to have a care in the world minus the few
times cooties or Mystery Meat Monday came into play. Now you're
sitting in class wondering, did I take my birth control? Does
she now what I did with her boyfriend? Will I make it through
next week without falling apart? Does the teacher know I
copied my entire paper from the Internet?
I want you to know I'm here, and I won't leave you so
please don't let yourself go. We can get through this, you
are strong enough. Nothing can burn out the fire
blazing through your veins.
I should have said that. Every time I passed you in the
hall, every time I saw you walking home alone. I should
have picked you up, given you a ride home. I should
have helped you, called you just to see if you were all right. I
should have taken you to the councilor so she could
properly inform you that you needed help. Told your parents.
I should have done something, but I didn't.
And do you remember what it was like to be alive?
Because darling dear you're six feet under and as cold as stone.
The world ate you alive and thought you tasted good.
Oh God, how I wish it hadn’t.
How I wish you were poisonous and it gagged you
back up because I miss you, and I can’t do anything about it.
