"Well I think today is a perfect day to go, don't you?" Mr. Mahoney consulted his wife the next morning over a delicious breakfast of bacon and eggs.
"Yeah!" Ethan responded, not even bothering to chew first.
"Chew with your mouth closed," Kevin grumbled at his brother before turning to me, "Do you wanna go?"
"Go where?" Tristan entered the kitchen now, looking as if he had just woken up.
"Good morning sleepy-head," Mrs. Mahoney greeted him.
And Kevin said, "To that amusement park, remember the one we went last year?"
"With the Screamer!" Ethan added, still chewing.
"Exactly."
Anna and I exchanged puzzled looks but Tristan smiled and said, "Yeah I remember, that sounds great." He was looking at me, desperately trying to make eye contact but I avoided it. I couldn't; I was afraid if I did I would be condoning what we did last night, or worse, I would blush and I didn't want to have to deal with that.
He grabbed himself a plate and sat down across from me. I betrayed myself and looked up, he smiled and I smiled back. His smile said we have a secret, mine said I know.
Kevin’s mom handed him the keys and placed a kiss on his cheek. “Have fun you guys!” She wished us all. “You should have enough money for food, but try and be sparing. I except you home for dinner!” And with that she left the room.
“Shotgun!” Ethan called, spotting the keys in his brothers hand as he entered the front hall. Kevin laughed.
Anna, Tristan and I climbed into the back of the minivan because there were three seats in the back and two in the middle.
The drive was only fifteen minutes and we chatted the whole way. Once again, I was sitting in the middle but this time it was harder to ignore Tristan’s arm against mine. I leaned up against Anna but he kept pushing closer.
It wasn’t long before the park was visible. Large rides stretched into the sky, through the open windows we could already hear screams of excitement and smell the fried food. When we finally pulled into the parking lot, an extensive ocean of cars, I burst out of the van and stood by Kevin, not because I didn’t want to be near Tristan but because I was convinced my heart was going to beat itself out of my chest.
Inside the park the air was almost buzzing with excitement, it was contagious. My worries towards the entire situation seemed to dissolve the instant I caught a whiff of the deep fried corndogs and the sugary cotton candy. Maybe this day wouldn’t be a total disaster, maybe I could relax. We strolled around the various rides, stopping on one that spun around in dizzying circles. In line, Ethan recounted a story of one summer when they were young that he had dared his brother to eat as many hot dogs as he could before going on this ride and he had ended up barfing on an old lady sitting next to them. Kevin scowled as we all cracked up.
Tristan was trying desperately to get me alone, maybe not for a long time but enough so he could talk to me. I pretended not to notice and stuck with Kevin.
We went on a couple more rides before Ethan declared it time for the Screamer. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect.
The screamer was a massive ride that reached up into the sky and fit it's name perfectly. Each time the machine rose into the air, I felt the suspense rising. Then, it would fall and it's passengers would let out earsplitting screams. I felt a lump of fear rise in my throat, so this was the ride Kevin had been so excited for. He and Ethan ran to the back of the line, beckoning that the rest of us follow. When I hung back Tristan asked me if I was okay.
"Yeah," I told him. My heart felt funny when he talked to me. "This ride is really big." I’d never been able to handle rides that dropped straight down after a bad experience at Disney World one year.
Something sparked in his eyes and he said, "You don't have to ride it if you don't want to."
"I know but..." I started but I was interrupted by another set of screams coming from the ride.
"Just tell Kevin," He urged me forward.
When I told Kevin that I would rather sit this one out his face fell. "Okay..." He said, starting to get out of line.
"No wait," I stopped him. "You can still go on."
"Well I don't want you to be alone." He said reluctantly.
That's when Tristan cut in and I understood, "I can stay with her." He was acting like he was being nice and it made my stomach feel funny.
Kevin bought it, "Hey thanks, man. You guys can go on a ride or something so you don't have to sit and wait." He leaned in to give me a kiss and I caught Tristan’s face. This is exactly what he wanted.
As soon as we were out of the view of the ride, he grabbed my hand. "This is good right?" I could tell part of him was excited with the way things had turned out, and the other part hoping I felt the same.
I nodded even though I was unsure. This was so wrong, so wrong. As if to further convince me, Tristan pulled me closer and pressed his lips against mine, sending a tingle down to the tips of my fingers and ends of my toes. I found myself willing him to hold me tighter, to never let go.
"Let's go on a ride," he smiled, clearly satisfied and looped his fingers around mine. We went over to go on the scrambler. In line we talked, our conversation ranging from the ride, to different ways to make eggs and then to the school food. It was so easy to talk to him, effortless, and the casual flow of our conversation made me forget how wrong it was, how terrible it was that I'd kissed him not once, but twice. Even his hand in mine felt easy, as if we were just two friends holding hands. It was the way it made me feel however, that let me no there was more to it.
We climbed into the cool metal seats of the ride, side by side. He put his arm around me comfortably, "You ready?" He smiled, showing his teeth. It was the smile that meant he was truly happy, the smile that seemed to warm me from the inside out. The ride swung us around violently, spinning in circles every which way, despite my seatbelt I still slid around. I grabbed onto Tristan for dear life. We were both laughing hysterically as the ride slowed. We were facing the Screamer now, it was tall enough to see the whole park.
"That was great!" Tristan exclaimed, I struggled to catch my breath, feeling the adrenaline pumping, and watched the seats of the Screamer rise up into the air. Suddenly something caught my eye that made my heart stop. It was a neon orange hat, Ethan’s hat, atop the Screamer.
They must have gotten on already. They could see us! I jerked away from Tristan and struggled to unbuckle myself.
"What's the matter?" He grabbed my arm, trying to calm me down but I could not be calmed.
"They can see us!" I practically shrieked, pulling myself away and finally escaping from the seat.
He ran after me, his voice rising, "How do you know?"
"The hat!" I was still darting away.
"What?"
"Ethan's hat! Ethan's orange hat!" We were behind a snack cart now, safely hidden from the ride.
He grabbed me and spun me around, I could feel his warm breath on my face. "You mean," he said quietly, "the hat he left home?"
And then I remembered Anna’s complaints. I hate that hat, you look like a traffic cone, she said to him that morning, wear the green one.
"And plus," Tristan added, "You saw how long the line was, they couldn't possibly be on the ride yet."
Oh yeah. "You're right," I sighed deeply, glancing down at the gravel, "Sorry."
He put his hands on my shoulders, holding me steady. I tilted my head up at him, his eyes bored into mine. "Are you really that worried?"
His question was serious and his touch set chills down my body even in the heat of the day.
I exhaled deeply and looked down again, "I don't know. I don't know if I can do this."
"Do you like me?" His expression was pained.
"Yes," I answered quickly. This, I knew, was the truth.
Authors Note: At this point I have a dilemma, because on one hand I like it if the chapter ends there, but on the other, for the story’s sake, she needs to basically “break up” with him. What should I do?
