Free

I long to be free.
To just fly away,
to soar over the colorful tree tops of orange and red.
To float past a bright full moon on a deep black night.
To experience the feeling of touching a cloud.
I need to find a place where i belong.
A place where i am accepted and allowed to be who i truly am.
I need to find a place where i truly belong

Hey. I thought that this was good. I like the idea of being free, but not just in the normal sense of walking around and living in one place. But the idea is kind of cliche. If you had your owns twist on what you have, to make it your own, then I think it could be a lot better.

Last thing. In you second line, I found that it dragged on a bit. (But this may just be me) I think that if you separated it into two different lines, then I think it would flow a lot better. Maybe separate it where the comma is. (But again, just what I think) But this is a good poem.

Hello.

A quick little thing I'd suggest you look at is our capitalization. Right now, you're using both uppercase and lowercase i's. In poetry you can use lowercase i's, or uppercase, but not both. Pick using capitalization or not using it. The importance in poetry is consistency.

A slightly bigger problem here is how this poem isn't really relatable. Yes, a lot of people have felt the craving for acceptance, but if you count on people to rely on their own experiences then your poem isn't showing as much of the emotion as it could. Right now, I find your poem lacking some of that description of emotions.

There is also how this poem reads pretty much like a list; each line is its own idea, and the ideas aren't really linked together. The imagery has no real rhyme or reason for it, hence my comment about the ideas not being linked together, and just seems to be put in there to be a pretty image. In poetry, since you don't have all that much room for too many words, every line must have a reason for being there. Right now, you have a lot of lines that don't seem to be doing anything.

Overall, work on making this more cohesive, with more of a reason behind the words being used.

Hope this helps. PM me if you have any questions or comments.

~Rosey

passionate. i thought it had a lot of heart and longing in it. it was obvious to me that this is something you really want, and the poem portrayed that. i like how you write. its a different style, something i havent seen before. my favorite style of poetry is freewrite. it shows how differently everyone writes and shows the true streams of consciousness of a person. dont give up.

Hi Cyndaday95. As everyone else has said, capitalization is a must. I like the concept of this poem. I like everything about this poem. I just have one nitpick:

cyndaday95 wrote:to soar over the colorful tree tops of orange and red

If the treetops are orange and red, then it is implied that they are colorful. When the author states something that is already implied, it is called a redundancy. Redundancies in poetry can get quite boring. So, get rid of the word "colorful" and you should be fine!

Bon voyage!

I long to be free.I like this opening
To just fly away,
to soar over the colorful tree tops of orange and red.I think this line is a little off, it doesn't really fit after the first two lines
To float past a bright full moon on a deep black night.You've used colours three times to describe something, maybe try a different adjective? Something like the misty night?
To experience the feeling of touching a cloud.
I need to find a place where I belong.
A place where I am accepted and allowed to be who i truly am.
I need to find a place where I truly belong

Overall I like your poem, just don't forget about capitalization!

Hello, Cyn!

Well, you did forget to capitalize the letter 'I', but Reader caught that already.

You got your point across, but this is lacking description and that little sprinkle of excitement. It just feels as if this is lacking something important. I understand that she wants to be free, but from what exactly? I don't see any other emotion coming from her other than that of going away.

I've not much else to say and I really don't know if I like this or not. I don't hate it but I don't know if I like it either. Jeez, I just don't know. Sorry if that sounds a bit confusing.

ReisePiecey!