The Direction of The Tide

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Rhimari stood on the cliffs that were forever entwined with his childhood. They would always echo with the laughter and innocence of those earlier days. Of anything on Ikos, he would miss them the most. He remembered standing on their highest point, above the waves crashing against the jagged rocks, and feeling like he ruled the world. The sea-wind would be in his hair; everything would be below, subservient, obedient. His body would teeter on the edge, knowing a few inches were everything between glorious life and tragic death. These little differences that caused great voids of contrast engrossed him. The beauty and the ugliness of the cliff was probably what drew him there every time. Long branches of plant verdure scattered across the pale beige stone gave it a look of calm and relaxation. But below were treacherous rocks, potentially destructive and ever defiant.

But it was really the escape that had led him here since his boyhood. He had never been his father’s favourite, and ever since his older brother’s death he had been treated with further scorn. The cliffs were the perfect retreat. Most people avoided them, for the sole reason they were considered unlucky – many ships and sailors had perished on the sharp rocks, and at night, and even in the daylight, the path was riddled with dangers and falls were common. Over time they had developed something of a mythical status for death, and were avoided regularly. Rhimari cared little for the tales that spread. As a boy he had learnt the best paths to use, and the ones to avoid, and his nimbleness prevented any accidents.

As he looked out upon the sea, and the distant horizon where the first glimpses of the pre-dawn light could be seen, he suddenly felt a huge longing to not be leaving at all, and to be a boy again, and to … but he bridled himself, reminding himself that he was a man, and the adventure might do him so good. Father had sent him off to command one of the distant island territories, an island called Callapos. He knew nothing about it and didn’t particularly want to. Though the people and his family often made him feel unwanted on Ikos, he felt at home in the mountains, in the meadows, on the beach sands, with the trees and the animals. This was where he belonged. But instead he was being banished away. He let out a heavy sigh as the pain weighed on his heart.

A man with ruffled dark hair, and subtle tints of grey, appeared beside him. “Knew I’d find you here.”

“How?” Rhimari replied, as if he already knew he was coming.

“I’ve been chasing you up these bloody cliffs since you were a little boy. Nothing changes.” Despite the newcomer’s gruff tone, he let out a hearty laugh at the end.

Rhimari turned to the man, and gave him a long embrace. When they parted, he spoke slowly. “I don’t want to leave, Ollus. I belong here.”

“I know. But whatever your father says, we must obey. I have to and even you have to. And if he says he wants your arse half way around the world, well, who’s to argue?” Ollus said. “And besides, maybe you’ll be safer there.”

“You keep me safe from everything.”

“I don’t know about that. The last assassination attempt almost got you. I’m getting too slow – my back aches every morning, and my arms feel like stone pillars sometimes. I won’t be there forever.”

Rhimari smiled. “You’re timeless, Ollus. Like the sea and the sky. You don’t age. You’ve been the same since I was young. Like you said, nothing changes.”

It was Ollus’s turn to smile. “You always turn things like that around on me.”

“So why did you come?” Rhimari asked, changing the course of the conversation.

“To remind you the ship leaves in little under an hour.”

Rhimari sighed. “I was hoping if I came here, everything else would just forget me. Like a perfect retreat.”

“We all dream of that, Rhi. I myself want a tropical island with my wife, me, the children and a large comfortable house and nobody else. But, alas, I haven’t found such a place yet,” Ollus said jokingly, attempting to lift the young Prince’s spirits.

“Do dreams ever come true, Ollus? Or do they just fall and drown in the sea of wrong actions like I could fall off this cliff with one wrong turn?” Rhimari said sadly, looking out upon the great ocean that spread before them.

“The thing with dreams is, they only ever happen when you don’t dream of them all your life. I know a man who always shunned love, couldn’t talk to women, and thought he could survive without the need of a loving wife. But one day he met a special girl and from that day forward he always said ‘my dream has come true.’ But he had never dreamt of it beforehand. Or maybe he just never admitted it to himself. I don’t know,” Ollus said, losing the thread of his story. “I’m not a great man with words. But I’ll say one thing. There’s nothing more important than chasing your own dreams.”

Rhimari nodded, as if a problem he had been focusing on had been resolved. “I think you’re wrong. You do have a way with words,” he said kindly. “Come,” he added, “I guess we must make our way to the harbour.”

He took one last look at his surroundings, and left.
Last edited by Firestarter on Sat Jan 07, 2006 1:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.




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Wow. That was one of the best written stories I've read on this site. Truly an exceptional piece.
Some suggestions though:
the adventure might do him so good

the adventure might do him some good.

“Do dreams ever come true, Ollus? Or do they just fall and drown in the sea of wrong actions like I could fall off this cliff with one wrong turn?” Rhimari said sadly, looking out upon the great ocean that spread before them.

This is too long. It would be better if you said:
"Do dreams ever come true, Ollus? Or do they just fall and drown in the sea of wrong actions?" Rhimari said sadly, looking out upon the great ocean spread out before them.
Mah name is jiggleh. And I like to jiggle.

"Indecision and terror, thy name is novel." - Chiko




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SEE?

This would be an appropriate time for an: I told you so!

Or not. It was a pretty good discussion anyway. :P

'A broad-chested tall man appeared beside him.'

I see a trend beginning...it is a trend in where you use this same description in every single one of your stories...and where it doesn't help the story at all and is rather tacky....but it could just be me.

'“I’m not a great man with words. '

He seems pretty good with 'em to me, so I'd make his overall tone a little gruffer. THINK LUMBERJACK! (Well, maybe not that extreme but you get the idea.)

The ending was really simple and would have completely stunk on its own, but you really pulled it off. Good job.

Well...that's all I've got to say.
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin




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JigSaw - thanks. I'll change the stuff you picked out.

Sammas - Yeh that description does seem to pop up a lot! Any suggestions? I wanted to introduce him without simply starting with the dialogue, and that seemed an okay pre-speech thing. I don't know what else I could say, so some help would be appreciated. Thanks for looking at it!
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.




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Describe his hair. That'll shock people (since guys don't tend to do the hair thing...:P).
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin



“Can a magician kill a man by magic?” Lord Wellington asked Strange. Strange frowned. He seemed to dislike the question. “I suppose a magician might,” he admitted, “but a gentleman never could.”
— Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell