Glass Tears

Too dense to carry.

My clasp is still strong enough.

I will always cling with fire,
but it will never suffice the craving, the ardor I feel with you.

And though they say that love is vulnerable,
my love blazes brighter than the stars.
I cannot cry,
and I cannot sleep.
If I could cry,
and if I could sleep...

My tears would be glass, and my dreams would be of you.

Hey,

For the first few lines I knew what you were on about, even though you didn't actually say love. I think this is really refreshing in this style of writing because most people just start by saying love and it all goes down hill from there, but i think this is a really effective piece, and i liked it a lot.

My only point would be, it seems to just stop suddenly as if you couldn't be bothered to write anymore so just put an ending on. Just my opinion.

PM for anything.

~Retro Disco666

I like how you put the feeling of love in a different way, because it really makes it more interesting. This is actually one of my favorite poems written and posted here. The title was really good, too. I just think the ending could be a little bit different. Good job!

i like your poem, more so the idea of it; it's really quite spectacular

Hibiscus wrote:Too dense to carry.

My clasp is still strong enough.

I will always cling with fire,

i love this part, it really captures the readers attention.

Too dense to carry.

My clasp is still strong enough.

I will always cling with fire,
but it will never suffice the craving, the ardor I feel with you.

And though they say that love is vulnerable,
my love blazes brighter than the stars.
I cannot cry,
and I cannot sleep.
If I could cry,
and if I could sleep...

My tears would be glass, and my dreams would be of you.

This is stunning, beautiful. It's magnetic, and it draws a reader in within the first two lines.
It's powerfully emotive to those who have actually felt this in their life, and they spend the longest of time just thinking about it, and it's magic in all the simplest forms.

I absolutely love the wording of this, as well as your style. I love it.

- GhostlyImpressions

This poem is really beautiful, very impressive. I love the first four lines, they were elegant and a great choice of words. keep on writing!