Eyrie Origami

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I really wish I visited this place more often.

Eyrie Origami

We're up too high,
staggering past clouds with arms in casts.
Hanging like portraits,
falling like artistic dreams.
And gravity just won't work fast enough.

We're rekindling,
in a maginifying glass with bloodshot eyes.
Blazing zephyrs,
melting soldiers.
Burning rubber in place of incense.

Inspiration?
Colours come to mind,
if only to blot out dark patches.
Paper folds in unison,
but my hands don't bend that way.

It's all too cryptic,
the wrong directions on arciform axis.
This could be design,
with crippled iridescence.
Artists with prosthetic visions.

Dreams?
Colours come to mind,
if only to blot out dark patches.
Paper folds in unison,
but my hands don't bend that way.
Gone, gone from New York City,
where you gonna go with a head that empty?
Gone, gone from New York City,
where you gonna go with a heart that gone?




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Cool imagery. I read it kind of fast but it's really neat. Good ideas. I like it. (By the way... origami rocks. :wink: )
@(^_^)@
Got YWS?




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Points 1090
Reviews 170
I loved the stanza that repeats, especially

Paper folds in unison,
but my hands don't bend that way.


Those lines are awesome.

The fourth stanza was my least favorite, I think. I'm not sure why, I guess it just didn't seem to fit as well. It almost seemed a little whiny. But maybe I just don't get it. (And realize that I'm only saying this in comparison to the other stanzas, which were amazing.)

Burning rubber in place of incense.


is another line I like alot.

Overall I really liked this. The tone seems kind of dreamy and really pretty, and you have lovely images. The title is good too.
:)
Siempre, siempre: jardin de mi agonia,
tu cuerpo fugitivo para siempre,
la sangre de tus venas en mi boca,
tu boca ya sin luz para mi muerte.

-From 'Del amor imprevisto', Federico Garcia Lorca




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Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 66
Wow. Amazingly good imagery. Where the hell you get your inspiration (and vocabulary) from, is a mystery to me.
Cuz I'm praying for rain and I'm praying for tidal waves.
I wanna see the ground give way. I wanna watch it all go down.



Lily you are my fig father
— Elliebanana