Young Writers Society

You ripped apart my chest
and touched
my still beating heart
(injecting it with morphine
to keep me addicted)

Jabbing your hand into
my intestines, you only found
the dinner we had
last night.

(my arms are tied
to our stretcher, preventing
me from sewing my
self up)

You stain my canvas
skin with my own paint
and I ask,

"Why do I love" you.

LOVE IT!

it's sick, which makes it work.

I have one small suggestion, i think that it needs mabye one more line after the end. Maybe like a response to the question in a strange and sick way, however this may just be me.

Amazing though.
Well done

A non-cliche approach to love. Congratulations

I like this very much, the style, the writing technique, the imagery, all of it.

No criticism for you.

Thank you, for the comments.

Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant; after reading the first metaphor, I intended to quote and commend how well it works; but reading the whole poem, there are too many excellent metaphors to simply pick one to talk about. Very well crafted; keep up the good work.