The Dangers of Daydreaming

It starts out simple,
A fairy or two,
Some magical flowers,
Spring alive in front of you.

As you go to the house,
To get what you need,
A band director comes up,
And asks you to lead.

You're running between cornstalks,
In a park near the lake,
And then you're with your dream guy,
Out eating a steak.

You're suddenly beautiful,
And crazy in love,
Then your whole life,
Gets really, really tough.

Now you're in Paris,
Aboard a nice train,
Now on your way to China,
You sleep on a plane.

You go back in time,
And get rescued from war,
Then head to the capital,
To see the Bald Eagle soar.

Finally you're back,
At the desk in your classroom,
But what's this?
An F on your essay?
Back to reality, you zoom.





I've been really uninspired lately, so please don't be to harsh, it's the best I could do =]

Yes this happens to all of us when our minds are somewhere else. Anyway, the only errors I see is that at some parts when you should have put "you're" you put "your". I put the parts that are supposed to be "you're" in parentheses.

iheartbooks wrote:Your (you're) running between cornstalks
In a park near the lake
And then your with your dream guy
Out eating a steak

Your (you're) suddenly beautiful
And crazy in love
Then your whole life
Gets really, really tough

Now your (you're) in Paris
Aboard a nice train
Now on your way to China
You sleep on a plane

You go back in time
And get rescued from war
Then head to the capital
To see the Bald Eagle soar

Finally your back
At the desk in your classroom
But what's this?
An F on your essay?
Back to reality, you zoom.

Also.

iheartbooks wrote:It's starts out simple

This made no sense. Try "It starts out simple." Then it will make better sense. But overall I think you did really good with this! It's what use to happen to me a year ago.

It all sounds pretty forced, but as far as something used to attempt to end Writers' Block, it's much better than I would have done. Believe me, I have eked out some awful poems and this is definitely not one of them.
I adore the concept of it, it just seems a little cheesy. it could be re-worked with a twist into something great, though.
Hope your Writers' Block ends

It starts out simple,
A fairy or two,
Some magical flowers,
Spring, alive in front of you.

Like I showed above punctuation would help, but about the poem. Well It doesn't seem very inspired (like you said). When I day dream I build off of each part building up more and more. I don't know if that is how every one does it, but this seems to be just random. Some of the rhyming also seems forced. I really hate the last line "you zoom" it just doesn't seem right.
Hope I helped,

A. S.