Chronicles of Life and Death: Dark Secrets - Prologue

2 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 8485
Reviews 56
Chronicles of Life and Death: Dark Secrets -----(Book 1)-----

Prologue

I was looking right in the eyes of my enemy, waiting for death, waiting for him to finally do it, to stop the pain he has caused me and kill me. I layed on the wet, cold floor not able to think clearly anymore, because of the pain that was blinding my senses. But I picked this, I picked to die like this. Here I was covered in blood and tears, sacrificing myself for him and my family, I could not bare to see them dead, it's rather me than them, it's better this way.

The past few months changed my life rapidly. I did something which was baned for my kind. I fell in love with a vampire. But I never regretted it. I said my kind because I'm not a human as well, I'm a witch. Witch, plus a vampire, funny ain't it?

Me and him hated each other at first, but then, we realized we were soulmates, we tried to ignore it but it just didn't work instead it brought us together. He made my life better, with him I was actually smiling again, I felt happy and safe for the first time since mum died and we(Me and my sister Sunny) moved in to Danville in Iowa to live with our granny.

I love him, and I'm not afraid to say it. I love him and I'm prepared to die instead of him.
So my last thoughts trail towards him. I wish I could've said goodbye, that I gave him my last kiss, last touch. But I couldn't have done that, he would get suspicious, if he knew what I was going to do he would try to stop me and I didn't want that.

I learned something in the past few months, I learned that truth hurts, and that some things are better kept a secret.
But what has been done, has been done, and I can't change it now, now matter how much I would've tried. And so now I have to suffer the consequences of my doings and save the people that I love, since this has been all my fault.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1445
Reviews 1
Heys, I'm EgyptianGoddessSarah, and I'll be reviewing your story today. This is my first review, I'm sorry if it isn't much help.

This looks like a really good story, the whole Vampires vs Werewolves, is pretty old. But Witches and Vampires are a good mix.

Red colour: Spelling Errors. Bold: Comments. Italic: Explain/Change
Ikafe wrote:Chronicles of Life and Death: Dark Secrets -----(Book 1)-----

Prologue

I was looking right in the eyes of my enemy, waiting for death, waiting for him to finally do it, to stop the pain he has caused me and kill me. Using the word waiting twice is slightly repetitive. I suggest two alternatives: I was looking right into the eyes of my enemy, waiting for him to do it; to stop the pain he had caused me...To kill me. Or. I was looking right into the eyes of my enemy, waiting for death, for him to stop the pain he has caused me.

I laid on the cold wet floor, the pain was blinding my senses. But I picked this ; I picked to die like this... I was covered in blood and tears, sacrificing myself for him and my family, I could not bear to see them dead. Rather me than them, its better this way. Tense, it goes from past to present.

The past few months changed my life rapidly. I did something which was banned for my kind: I fell in love with a vampire. But I never regretted it. I said my kind because I'm not a human, I'm a witch. Witch, plus a vampire, funny isn’t it?

We both hated each other at first, but then, we realized we were soul mates. We even tried to ignore it but it just didn't work, instead it brought us together. He made my life better, with him I was actually smiling again. I felt happy and safe for the first time since mum died. My sister Sunny, and me moved in to Danville in Iowa to live with our granny.

I love him, and I'm not afraid to say it. I love him and I'm prepared to die instead of him.
So my last thoughts trail towards him. I wish I could've said goodbye, that I gave him my last kiss, last touch. But I couldn't have done that, he would get suspicious, if he knew what I was going to do he would try to stop me and I didn't want that.

I learned something in the past few months, I learned that truth hurts, and that some things are better kept a secret. But what has been done, has been done, and I can't change it now, no matter how much I would've tried. And so now I have to suffer the consequences of my doings and save the people that I love, since this has been my fault.
~The reason a writer writes a book is to forget a book and the reason a reader reads one is to remember it.~ Thomas Wolfe

~I write for myself and strangers. The strangers, dear Readers, are an afterthought.~ Gertrude Stein



we went from advice to meth real quick
— ShadowVyper