A Crying Flower

I did this really quickly a bit ago. Trash it, but help me.

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The tears it bore,
ran down its face.
Disturbing beauty on it wake.
I feel the pain
that it feels.
But can you see the tears I weep?

I am this flower,
strong but soft,
in the darkness,
seeking light.

Each day the tears roll down my face,
and all I can do is try to forget.

To be completely fair, I'm horrible at poetry, so I can't nit pick or tell you about verses and lines and all that stuff that is in-depth and stuff. This is one thing I did pick up on though:

ran down it's face.

The way this line should read is ran down its face. The comma suggets that the 's' is actually the word 'is', if that makes any sense. It's is an abbreviation of it is.

I loved this part, it's beautiful!!

In am this flower,
strong but soft,
in the darkness,
seeking light.

Hey. This is a really good poem. It is a lot like something I would write. It has a good imagery of the flower, and what it really is. One thing though, is that you said, 'In am this flower'. I think you might have wanted to say 'I am this flower'. But, it is really good. Last thing, the thing I liked the most is, 'Each day the tears roll down my face, and all I can do is try to forget.'

Hey RepublicOfCoter its CaptianRandom here,

if you did this really quickly then you must be talented, its very good, not long but not short especially for a theme like that, i also liked your wording, how you described yourself as the flower and the only thing you can do if forget, we should all try and forget things that we don't want in our memory anymore.

-CaptianRandom

I really really love this poem. I can't think of anything bad to say about it except that the first line is a bit off with the rest of the poem. Instead of "bore" you could use another word that better describes it. Other than that, fantastic job. I especially like this verse:

I am this flower,
strong but soft,
in the darkness,
seeking light.

It's a beautiful and different take on being hurt and crying and trying to express pain and forget what caused it. Keep writing

I really like this poem, its not overly complicated. But it gets the meaning across.

"ran down its face. "

In this line I might suggest changing "its" to "our". I think it might bring out the emphasis that "I am this flower".
Dunno, that may be overdoing the analyzing, that part of it is more artistic license.

I hope that helped. Keep it up!

I didn't mind this poem at all! It was short - but not too short and it was simple and easy to keep up with. It also didn't seem too dark, you say in the poem you are seeking the light. I really love how some light shines through this poem, I think maybe there are too many dark and depressing ones around, it was great to read something fresh.
I absolutely adore the second paragraph when you compare yourself to the flower - its a great connection and every word is true I feel.
Its a different way of expressing being hurt which is how this poem captivated me. People have dark ways of expressing their pain or hurt, but this was entirely different, somewhat brighter and not too dark as I said. Please write another poem like this, its great to be reading something fresh instead of living in darkness all the time...

Hi, R.O.C,
I really really loved this poem. It is very creative how you have compared your self to the flower. An excellent personification! What I liked is the darkness and the pain that runs though out your poem yet it is not all conflict. To me it seems as though someone in conflict reaching out into the light or reaching out to hope. Your descriptions in this poem are perfect!!
Maybe next time you can expand on the light to create balance. Maybe towards the end focus on what this person is reaching out to a bit more... Other wise a great job and I look forward to reading more of your work.
Thanx for a great poem,
watchmeburn

Well done Republic Of Coter,
Very emotional, Nice and short, well phrased, good use of imagery, easy to read.
I like it at the end how it says "I Try to forget". As if a long lasted relationship
has just been destroyed. It could be a tiny bit longer, but it's always good to keep
it nice and simple. A lot of inspiration has obviously gone into this poem and I would
say that it has certainly inspired me.

A great peice of work

Well done.

From TheBigCheese

I really like your poem. It's short yet you put in a lot of emotions into it. I love this verse

"I am this flower,
strong but soft,
in the darkness,
seeking light."

It's a beautiful peice. Well done!

Daydreamer96