From Behind The Crytal Glass

She stares longingly from behind the crystal glass,
Enviously watching the children playing whilst their parents water the garden in the heat of the long summer sun.
The pink wall behind her,
The lilac carpet laden with her toys of trickery, her dolls of treachery, their house of entrapment.
The mirror - thrown across the immaculate room - cracked.
The distorted reflection, the only company she has.

The devil screams her name from below.
She hears his tail thumping against the stairs in uneven rhythm, becoming louder and louder.
The pink door opens, she sees the horns on her father’s head, his hand clutching the devil drink.

He staggers clumsily into the room, taking care to spill the brown liquid onto her plasma.
His head twisted to allow the eyes of fury their hunt.
Then slowly and unsteadily, he approaches her.
She did not fight or kick or scream - there was no one to listen.
Except the distorted reflection of a six year old girl staring sympathetically,
From behind the crystal glass of the broken mirror.

I liked this poem a lot! Very nice turns of phrase and while the subject matter is obviously heavy, I think you handled it delicately.

The second line of the poem seems too long. It's much longer than the other lines, and rather verbose. Also, the word "un-even" should be spelled as "uneven."

The mirror, been thrown across the immaculate room - cracked

This line bothered me because of the unnecessary use of "been." Just remove it and the grammar is just fine.

Nice work!

The beginning of this poem really didn't impress me, but the ending pleasantly surprised me. I especially liked how you tied the ending to the beginning through the mirror, and how it gave an entirely new perspective on the reflection.

On the whole, however, I felt that your word choice was very weak. You used adverbs and general adjectives in place of vividly describing things, which lead to an overall sense of vagueness and laziness in the poem, especially at the beginning. Instead of just telling us that she stares "longingly", show us her expression and posture. What is the exact shade of brown? Is it the brown of a rotten piece of wood, or is it closer to the tanned hue of pale skin? In any case, showing us these details will make your poem a little more substantial and tangible, plus it will provide you with the chance to use some creative and/or vivid imagery which will make your poem more interesting to read.

Overall, this is a good start. If you work it a bit more and use imagery in place of relying upon adverbs and adjectives, this poem will be much stronger, I feel.