{Don't Know What to do Anymore}

I wrote this about my best friend... I rated it 16+ even though I'm only 15, because it talks about suicide, and I don't want anyone to get offended or anything, I just wrote this to get my feelings out.
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"I want to run away, Never say goodbye, Instead of wondering why, I want to know the answers, No more lies, I want to shut the door, and open up my mind."

Dear Helena,
What was the point of me ever meeting you?
I should have walked away,
I should have never listened to you.
Then I would have never known you,
so you maybe wouldn't have died,
and if you would have anyway,
I would have never known about it, or cared if I did.
Now I can't let go of the memory I have of you.
I want you to stay forever and haunt my mind,
so I won't feel so alone when I really am utterly alone.
But it doesn't matter how hard I try,
You're still slipping away from me.
Would you still even recognize me now?
I never felt this dead before you left.
Along with yourself, you took away my trust and hope and love.
And if there's one thing you should know,
it's that without you, I fell again, but this time I'm not going to get back up.
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I feel irrational,
so contemplational.
Under this sky of dust,
I know that I must
get away from here,
before my hopes become my fears.

Filled with tension,
I don't know if I should mention
that my words are never true.
I'm starting to misconstrue
the tangled thoughts in my damn head,
as I remember the things you said.

"I can't talk to you any more,
I'm going to leave now, my eyes are so sore
of crying blood tears
while my wounds sear
with this unrelieved pain.
But despite how I feel so slain,
to me you were the best friend ever.
I'm sorry that now these ties I am going to sever."

Why did you do this?

I can't even think any more,

And my head is so jumbled,

All I want to do is watch as my blood runs red.

But it's never enough.

I just wanna be with you again.

I miss you,

I want to die, too.

Hi,

This made my eyes well up. I'm so sad for you.

I love how you start it off as a letter, and move into the controlled rhyme section and the painfully raw last section.

I don't want to nitpick with this because it's so personal. It's beautifully structured and very powerful and it's really great that you could express yourself so eloquently on such a painful topic. I think pieces like this are so great when done well, like this is, because they can sometimes be comforting to others who have gone through something similar, and particularly since this is a subject which people have refrained from discussing for so long.

Do keep writing-it's a good way to understand yourself and things around you and I always feel better when I write when I'm upset, and make sure you talk to friends and family when you need to-this isn't an easy thing to have to go through.

Jas

First I want to say how sorry I am for the loss of your friend, I know this has the be the most tragic experience to be going through. I know this had to be the hardest thing you ever wrote and you are so brave to have the courage to share it with the world, you are such an inspiration. I'll pray that God gives you a sense of peace about the whole situation.