More Christmas morbality brought to you by TBR Inc.!
http://www.christmas-tree.com/stories/nightbeforechristmas.html
And there is the link to the site of the original, if you want to be "cheery." Also this is the site I use to help me with words and such. Enjoy!
---Elizabeth
Twas the Night Before C-Day
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was living, not even a mouse;
The owners were hung by the chimney with care,
Knowing that St. Nicholas had already been there;
The children were nestled all snug in their sacks,
Mixed in with sugar-plums, soon to be packed;
Mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just woken up from Santa’s great slap,
From the sons’ room there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away from the window it flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the mash—ed potatoes.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of dooms-day objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But an ironclod sleigh, and eight heinous reindeer,
With a burly old driver, so drunk and so quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his missiles they came,
And he screamed, and shouted, and called them some names;
"Now, Thrasher! now, Mangler! now, Prancer and Slicer!
On, Vomit! on Stupid! on, Dumber and Dicer!
Through the top of the porch! though the top of the wall!
Now smash away! bash away! dash away all!"
So up to the house-top the devils they flew,
With the sleigh full of guns, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a moment, they heard a sound from the mom
The ticking and tocking of a gigantic bomb.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning to run,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a gun.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of weapons he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a criminal just opening his pack.
His face – how much it was covered in mud!
And his cheeks and nose were stained with blood!
He smiled and drew up a loaded cross-bow,
And the beard of his chin was a dim white glow;
The bloody stump of a chicken he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke had encircled his head like a wreath;
He had an angry face and a LARGE round belly,
That shook, when he cackled like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right scary old elf,
And I cried when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And set fired to all the stockings; that jerk,
And laying his finger aside of my nose,
And giving a nod grew sting of a thorn from a rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a notion,
To flee away from the sudden explosion.
But I heard him exclaim, as he fled from sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, now you’re all gonna die!"
