My lover and my friend- Please Review

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I miss you when I watch you walk out the door
You are the one I love and the one I adore,
The warm smile on your friendly face
Shows me I am home and some where safe.
To belong to you is what I have longed for
We have been together for a year and there'll be many more.
The warmth of your breath, the glitter in your eyes
Makes me wish our love never dies.
So hold me now, and let this love never end
For you are forever my lover, and my best friend.
Last edited by Angel17 on Wed Dec 28, 2005 6:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Real poetry are those with the best words in the best order

~~~~~~~~Mandy~~~~~~~~~




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this is a very cute poem - i just have minor suggestion:
could you slip in some words with the last two lines - the rhythm feels off from itself and the rest of the poem.
otherwise, it was a cute rhyming pattern, held the meaning and just was cute. (for lack of a better word.)
sorta Christmas-y to me..well...because i'm Christian and american and it's...er...christmastime.
Carpe Diem.




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A cute poem. Perhaps you could experiment with more complex verses and vocabulary.
You have a nice style, but that's what I think you should do to develop as a poet.
Alice♥
"stay up all night with the stars."



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