Butterfly On The Highway

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I am a

Butterfly on a highway.

My wings broken and bruised

The cars drive by

Oblivious

To my sickness.

I stumble forward

My legs trying to

Hold my once beautiful wings

But they have been broken.

All the others have gone

For I could not keep up

Now I know what it’s like

To truly be alone.
Who is John Galt?




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Hello there
Well this is a beautiful poem. It is touching or emotional, I love it. The events were actually how I expected them to turn out, which is nothing to worry about. But besides that, I loved the whole reference of the sick butterfly with being alone, which is actually what I think makes the poem special. Good job.
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I kind of like the central image, the combination of butterfly and highway-the small in the big.
Still, I find it lacks a little bit of depth, and could benefit from a bit more exploration. Also, the punctuation is sort of erratic:
Butterfly on a highway.
My wings broken and bruised

The period here should be moved to the end of the second line, and you might want to think about adding a comma to the end of the first for better flow. Commas would be nice after "forward", "wings", as well as a period after "up".
Also, the use of the word "sickness" kind of jars with the "broken legs" image. Is it physical injury, or illness that's affecting? Both?
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The bigger the issue, the smaller you write. Remember that. You don’t write about the horrors of war. No. You write about a kid’s burnt socks lying on the road. You pick the smallest manageable part of the big thing, and you work off the resonance.
— Richard Price