Summer!

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* a very quick poem I wrote about summer! Sorry if it's not my best! :wink: *

Summer is sweet,
You can be free.
No more school,
Only at the pool.
Sprinklers spray,
New cut grass.
The birds sing!
And then it ends,
Way too fast!
Last edited by KAH on Sun May 23, 2010 11:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Dreams don't always have to exist while the sun's down and your eyes are shut.




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Hello there, KAH!

Summer is sweet,
You can be free.
No more school,
Only at the pool.

I like the four starting lines but maybe you can try other words to make it a not-so cliche' type. :wink: Dont' worry though, I find this interesting and quite funny. :mrgreen:

Sprinklers spray,
New cut grass.
The birds sing!
And then it ends,
Way to fast!


Okay, this totally destroys the flow of your poem. You have a rhyme scheme at the first four lines then you continued it with no rhymed words. It could be really better if you just continue the rhyming it all the way around so the flow would be smooth to read. :wink:

Anyway, I really like this! It was short but cute. :smt004

Keep writing!

Peace out!
"Life is a poem keep it in the present tense." -Sherrel Wigal




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Hey there
I think I have been reviewing your poetry for quite a while now and I think you have a gift of getting away with the short poems. It's also not common. I like that. This poem in particular was honest. It was nothing complicated and it was short and sweet.
Just watch out for the last line,
Way to fast!

I think you meant 'too'.
Good job hey. :)
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I think it's very well written, in terms of being playful and nonchalant. I don't really see the direct meaning, but then again its relative. Honestly, great job, I really enjoyed it. Simple, but sweet(:



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