Cast in Fire

Hello. This is my first post for YWS. Please read and review. I will also read and review yours. Thanks.





a lonely soul in scattered thought
twisting chains he'd long since wrought

a jealous rage once timed so sure
blazed so hot but couldn't endure

love was his fire which often he'd match
with storm and drink teamed to dispatch

a face so trusting he sees now not
only himself to blame the dumb sot

weak and weary he's fought and he's fought
a stain of the past which to him has now taught

to cast a life with love not rot

Welcome to YWS! I think your poem is awesome. Its got a totally epic feel to it. I do think the words 'sot' and 'rot', while they rhymed and made sense didn't have the same effect as the rest of the words in the piece did. You may want to consider changing them, but other than that it was great! =)

Hey, and welcome to the site!
I think this was a good poem, but isn't a GREAT poem. It's just (and I've been saying this a lot lately) nothing unusual. There was no surprise, no real "wow" factor or anything that made the piece memorable. But in any case, it was pretty decent, and I'd give it a solid 8 out of 10.
Keep writing,
~StoryWeaver