Three Haiku

edited

Well I'm not sure about the last one, probably because I didn't get it but the other two are OK. The first one is slightly off at the first line (4 syllables instead of 5) and it's also a bit cliched.

The second one has a good idea behind it, but I think you could replace bones with something else because it doesn't really fit. Blood, sweat and tears are all liquids. And

A cause and effect

could be replaced with something about words or paper. Still the end is good.

The last one I didn't like. It was like you were trying to hard, thinking about the words to much rather than letting them flow. I didn't really get what it was about (flight, a home in the mountains, a skyscraper, a mountain, jumping off a cliff?), but maybe that's just me.

Well I've given you my feedback, though I a probably not the best person to review haiku. They do show promise so let me know if you post more. Sorry if I was overly-critical.

The limit in Haiku's are seventeen syllables; that was arond fourty-eight. A little sad, for me. I don't see a main topic; it talks about essays, eagles, tides, and mountains. I like the poetic words; very descriptive. Keep the beautiful words, they're great.

Thanks for the reviews. I fixed the first one's line (thank you Rune for pointing that out).

As for the second one, I know the first three are liquids and bones are more concrete, but I was trying to get to the agony of the situation.

The third one simply describes a mother eagle's nest in the mountains, and her eaglets are calling.

Shia, I'm not entirely certain how you got to forty–eight syllables if you're counting the haiku individually. And while it's true I don't have a single theme for these three, I did try to have the nature pieces sandwich the academic piece.

Let me know if I still need to fix something, etc. Thanks again!

–antimelrose