Like Glue

Aww. What a sweet poem. I like it.
Hi there
Um, this is a sweet poem I have to be honest. The last three stanzas like took me to that special place

I had left you behind,
In my own right mind,
But without you there,
My heart needs repair.

So come back to me,
And I’ll come back to you,
And we'll stick like glue.

And oh...
I love you.

This is what I call deep, emotional and wise. I love it. And the last line, the 'oh I love you' part just completely took me off guard. It fits perfectly into the mood. You know, just when the poem left me hanging, that line saved the day. And it rhymes too.

When I walked through this painful field,
My heart was concealed,
Cos I thought I needed a shield.

I am not really fond of this stanza. First of all, I do not know what painful field you mean, should I assume? Alright I will.
I think the first stanza needs to be revised because it is such a turn off (to me) considering the last parts.
I don't know, I hope I am making sense and helping at the same time. Loved the poem. Good job.
Ziggie

To be perfectly honest, I did not like this poem at all. The rhyme is very obviously forced throughout the entire poem, it is inconsistent (though you did separate the different rhyme schemes by stanza, which was good), the subject was very common, and all of the imagery you used was either common or cliche. Basically, there is nothing poetic or unique about this piece.

I think that, by forcing this poem to rhyme, you lost a lot of its potential. I suggest rewriting this poem without the rhymes, describing things in a way that you've never heard it described before but makes perfect sense to you, explaining this unique view so that it makes perfect sense to your readers, and then seeing what you get. At the least, it will be much more interesting that what you have now.