The best friend's vow.

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Please read and tell me what you think. :) Rated 12 + for a curse word in the third stanza. xD

There are several things I promise you,
That I’ll always do,
I’ll laugh with you about the smallest things,
Like your feet… my nose,
The way you roll your tongue
Or how I raise my eyebrows in despair.
I vow to always
Dance crazily with you in front of your mirror,
And sing an out of tune duet with you
Pretending we’re the next big thing,
When we sound like drowning cats.

I promise
And I pledge;
To always be there
And Act crazy with you
On long summer nights,
To run down the beach barefooted,
Prank call people at midnight,
Have water balloon fights,
A snickers bar or two
And to play truth or dare.

And when that bastard breaks your heart
I promise to be there
With three boxes of tissues,
A bowl of popcorn,
A listening ear,
And chocolate;
lots and lots of chocolate.
I’ll be sure to gossip with you
About anything…
And everything.
Together me and you can be unstoppable,
No person, place,
Object or sugar coated cupcake
Will be safe from us.

In return,
I ask for the truth,
Your love,
And my pick from your clothes
When I run out of things to wear.
-mors aut honorabilis vita-


Forget the prince with a horse, I want a vampire with a volvo.




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Points 5238
Reviews 174
Okay. The content itself lives up to the title you labelled this piece as, "The best friend's vow", however I did feel that at times you did not maintain a careful eye on capitalization.

Example:

And Act crazy with you


The "Act", again in my opinion, should be switched to "act".

You maintained the form reasonable well with one glaring exception:

And chocolate;
lots and lots of chocolate.


This part caught my eye because the "lots and lots of chocolate" part is very similar to the first "And chocolate" and it appears that when you dwell on the chocolate, via repetition, it distracts the reader from other non-repeated aspects of this vow. This vow is "your" vow, but I certainly beg to disagree that it is not "the" vow for a best friend. I know that sounds far stricter than I intend this review to sound, but as a positive I believe friendship is one of the few treasures in life and I commend you for writing a declaration on maintaining a healthy friendship. To repeat my first statement, the content itself is sound, the format may need some adjustments but with practice and more reviews a more complete picture will help you identify what changes need to be made and what you are doing correctly and I hope this review helps you start the revision process. It's hard to have you work criticized, but it is far better than having it remain in the realm of obscurity. Who knows, perhaps one day you might be the one to draft a "declaration of friendship" all humans must follow:)

Best Regards,
-Elitehusky




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Points 8198
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I love this. So much. It makes me want to call my best friend and read it out loud while laughing. It's sincere and very genuine. I actually love the part where you repeat the word chocolate. I say, don't change a thing. Except that capital a in act. This is adorable! I couldn't really find anything wrong with it. I just love it like this!
Keep writing! :D
Ofir
"if you were waiting for the opportune moment... that was it." - Captain Jack Sparrow




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Oh my gosh I love this and I can totally relate! I miss my best friend so much; this makes me a little heart-sick. :( But it was a great poem, and like I said already, I think it's really relatable to a lot of people while it also feels personal and special. I think the first reviewer pretty much covered the critiques so...
Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another. ~Lemony Snicket




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Points 4867
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That's really cool. :]
I really like this poem...
keep up the good work...
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened...
Before. ---Dare you to move by, Switchfoot---




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Points 4933
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This is a good poem. It outlines everything a best friend should do for other people. The description was very good and straight to the point. Good job!

Skutter11, worst reviewee ever.
"Madness rides the Star wind"

HP Lovecraft. Ironic, no?




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I love this so much!
It explains what best friends should be like :)
"I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course...




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awww i love this! it's so sweet and true!!
my favourite bit is...
And when that bastard breaks your heart
I promise to be there
With three boxes of tissues,
A bowl of popcorn,
A listening ear,
And chocolate;
lots and lots of chocolate.
I’ll be sure to gossip with you
About anything…
And everything.
Together me and you can be unstoppable,
No person, place,
Object or sugar coated cupcake
Will be safe from us.

don't change a thing!
seriously, i can't find the words to express how much i love this poem!



You don't need to follow me! You don't need to follow anybody! You got to think for yourselves!
— Brian Cohen