A Fragmented Reality

Swaying between two worlds,
one conscious,
on unconscious.

I am a ghost between tow realities,
living two lives.

One in light,
one in darkness.

One half of me is innocent,
and ignorant to the world's realities.

The other a horrible figure,
a murderer of dreams,
a creature who devours
all around him.

A world that I know as mine,
a reality broken by two minds.
Both in the same body.

One day this soul hopes
those two will become one.

Hey. This was an unusual idea, but that is one of the thing that makes it better. I like how it used the image of light and dark. It is a more common idea, but it was used well.

There is one thing. You say '...living tow lives.' I think you may have wanted to say two. Other than that, it was great.

Hey there! One quick suggestion I have is to read over your work a few times before you post it. There are some obvious typos that you'd be able to pick up on your own with a read over. We're here to help you write better, not type better.

Now, to the poem itself. The idea you have behind it is peculiar, I think I'm interpreting it as naivette against cynicism. Ignorant to the world's realities, or crushing dreams? That's a great thing to look at because I think it's something every fights with. Do you want to believe the world is all good, innocent, without any evil? Or do you want to believe that nothing good ever happens to nobody no how?

However I think it wasn't very well executed in this poem. The light/dark metaphor isn't very good in my opinion because it's cliché. You don't give us a real sense of how the speaker is feeling, instead you give us summaries of the "personalities". How do these personalities actually act within the world? How do they combat each other? Why, and to what end, does the speaker wish for them to meld? There's so much more you could talk about than this simple description given. The more you touch on regarding this, the more emotions and imagery you can pull up - which is important because this is poetry, and imo the heart of poetry is affecting the reader. Can you make the reader feel, think, react? Since, I believe, this is a concept and emotion many people are used to dealing with, the subject matter is not a problem - just the execution.

Why not step out of all the hypothetical, telling lines, and try to write something that shows the inner struggle of the speaker. Come up with a situation that makes him/her battle for one stance or the other. Does he see a woman with a black eye on the subway? He can assume she accidentally hurt herself - or her boyfriend beats her. What about a lonely little boy? Is he lost? Where are his parents? Or is he really much happier than his appearance seems? There is so, so much you could do with this concept. Take it to it's full height, don't limit yourself to this tiny scope of navel gazing. Let the speaker pull the reader into his turmoil.

I hope all this helps you in editing. Best of luck!