The Final Fall

Lace your fingers through mine,
Pass to me your warmth and protect me.
A glacial storm; a wailing cry
From inside me leaving no air to breathe.

Falling into this light abyss
With a single note of panic and frenzy.
Spare me a single last kiss;
The sanctuary of life I'll last see.

Breezes of thunderous air
Vised around unspoken words.
Not a whisper nor voiced murmur
Disrupts the silence of the curse.

Frozen in the midst of time
With two paths to choose:
Let the pain in me forever rhyme
Or the easy choice with my life to lose.

One more second I hold your hand;
My heart is now yours to keep.
The flatline alerts I've left their land,
And the pain vanishes as I go into a wakeless sleep.

This is quite good! You used some nice imagery, which I always appreciate. It was raw and heartfelt, almost verging on cliche. You didn't cross that line, though, so nice job there. Your meter is pretty consistent, so good job there as well. You had a few wording issues, though.
"Breezes of tempetous air"

You use a big word, "tempetous", here. Now, big words are nice, but you want poetry to flow. You don't want someone to stop to figure out what something means. Same here:

Or the facile choice with my life to lose.

Nice job overall, keep working on it.

This is really good!I especially like the first two lines, "Lace your fingers through mine, pass to me your warmth and protect me". As guys it makes us feel really good and appreciated when girls tell us they feel safe or protected when we are with them!:P

beautiful i must confess, i enjoyed most of the poem that there really isnt much to say. but i'd like to say that this stanza

"Breezes of tempetous air
Vised around unspoken words.
Not a whisper nor voiced murmur
Disrupts the silence of the curse."

Wonders off from the whole poem, the stanza though is quite catchy but not for this very poem.

Anyway you did a good job keep it up

Whoa, I honestly did not expect to get three reviews in one day. Aside from that, thank you Dreamy115, I totally understand what you mean with the big words and all, so I'll change that. MrSillieWillie, that is the coolest name ever, and also, thank you for your review. I'm glad that you liked those introductory lines. You made me laugh. Emorykings, thank you to you too because I sort of thought that stanza maybe wasn't so good for this, so thank you for pointing it out. I'll work on it.
-Dianne