Left Wing

Looking at your teary eyes,
Uncover the reason for it
Hatred and all evil lies,
Not a cause for you to quit

Staring at your feeble wing
Sunlight, shimmering down on you
Wanting to fly on air spring
Wishing, you don’t have to feel blue

A drop of a blameless tear,
Flowing gently on your red cheeks
Remember, a person adhere,
Always, even on lowest creek

Your left wing is a beauty,
So far, it broke down in a mile
Let me be, a guard on duty
A wing, notices your sweet smile

Delightful, your tears are gone
Together we fly and break free
Deceit and lies, all now gone,
Content to run, as your left wing.

Friend...
don’t cry,
Don’t worry,
We’ll go for miles.

hey this was cool

Looking at your teary eyes

Delightful, your tears are gone
Together we fly and break free
Deceit and lies, all now gone,
Content to run, as your left wing.

Friend...
don’t cry,
Don’t worry,
We’ll go for miles.

my favourite lines

sorry i don't have time for a longer reveiw. lifes busy, you know?

oh-oh.

thanks for that, fight! I'll edit that.

I liked this. It has an easily relatable meaning, and for me makes me think automatically of that same type of friend in my life, which is nice when reading poetry. (:

There were only a few comments I had that might make it better, in my opinion. I think you should watch out for cliches, for example, the first line

Looking at your teary eyes,

could be much stronger. Often it takes a few trys to come up with that perfect image, so I think a bit of revision would do this poem justice. For example, again with the first line, even just changing "at" to "into" would strengthen the phrase.
A few lines are a bit awkward too, and not that it's forced rhyming, it's just awkward word placement... like in the line:

A person adhere

it doesn't seem to make much sense to me just because of the awkward word usage.

Other than those two specific comments, I really enjoyed this poem. It's very sweet, and the ending ties it together very well. :3

Hey Yuri,

I really loved this poem. It flowed nicely, probably because of the rhyming scheme. I really liked the rhyming in this. But maybe change the word "adhere" to something different. Seems a bit too...proper. Maybe try using a softer word. I also liked the metaphor, because you were really talking about a friend, weren't you? It also spoke to me a lot about your strong friendship. It contained a powerful message that got out.

Well done! Best wishes!

RedLeaf