Wayfarer

Wayfarer

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Black veils over glassy
eyes - my wayfarer
is the perfect disguise
for a classy kid to
party. It hides
the empty stomach -
food for thought.

Not to lack the throb
of decadent dancing
in alien mob - girls and guys
make a beautiful terror.
The perfect disguise
is my black wayfarer.

I would just like to ask; What is a wayfarer? The word struck me as alien, or maybe I just haven't got a really wide vocabulary as I like to think.

I'm puffycherry but you can call me Chrissie, and I'll be your reviewer for today. Onwards-

I think this poem is rather short, but it doesn't lack anything. I found that I didn't quite understand it, but that made me think of it as mysterious and alluring. You used rather wide imagery. I had the pictures in my mind with every word.

Grammar wise-I cannot really say. I don't know how to review poetry, and I don't know much about hyperboles. (If that is even how you spell it!) I am very sorry I cannot be much more of a help.

Heya Inkwell!

I have a pretty big vocabulary, but I'm not so good with slang or brand-type words, so yes, I DID Google the word 'wayfarer,' which I was not too surprised to find meant some kind of sunglasses. Oh, and even if people didn't understand what you meant, I reckon they should have gotten it from the following lines:

Black veils over glassy
eyes

I mean, how much more obvious can you get?! You even say the word 'wayfarers' straight after!

What I liked about this was the subtle rhyme. I only wish people did more of that in free verse these days, instead of sticking to straight-rhyming poetry, or totally free verse. It adds such a lilting effect to it, and helps the flow so much, since I sort of swing along the lines till I reach the next bit that rhymes with something before it.

perfect disguise
for a classy kid to
party. It hides
the empty stomach - food for thought.

The words about a 'classy kid to party' seemed almost cliche, except for the 'classy' part, which was interesting. Sort of adds a...well, a classy feel to the poem, you know? And the next bit, about the empty stomach, was just fabulous and original. Such a thing to notice and comment upon! And you make me pause and think about what it really means all the more by the 'food for thought' part.

Not to lack the throb
of decadent dancing
in alien mob

The image I was not too fond of - all it takes is the word 'party,' and I already imagine throbbing music and dancing. Although I liked the subtle rhyme, the 'throb...mob' rhyme did sound cliche, and too obvious - not really necessary, either. I'd say change those parts. But I liked 'decadent' for some reason - it kind of added a more upper-class, sophisticated outlook on the dancing, and the 'alien' likewise intrigued me. I guess it's so true - people are different when at parties, and it's hard to know who's who, even if you've known them for years. So - I'd like to see this image expanded on a lot more. Think about all the things you could do with it! You can very easily mix it in with the wayfarer image - sort of like the sunglasses hiding the identity of the newcomer to the party, while he/she observes the warped identities of the people already present, like a scientist (with his 'magnifying' glasses, so to speak) observing nature / an alien population that should already be familiar to him.

girls and guys
make a beautiful terror.
The perfect disguise
is my black wayfarer.

'Guys...disguise' --> not the best rhyme again, simply because it sounded a little forced and unoriginal. And I didn't get much from reading these lines, either. 'Girls and guys' really means nothing to me - I know there's girls and boys at a party - you don't need to spell it out. And the repetition of the wayfarer in this case fell flat because it wasn't tied in to the other interesting images of empty stomachs and aliens in any way.

So...I think I covered everything, and I hope you've got a little more to chew over now!