I decide it’s a better idea just to wait till the bell rings than to go to class late. I go back to the bathroom and listen to my Ipod. I can’t stop thinking about that guy, James. The way he talked about Sara like just some random person, every other guy would marvel at her name. Mostly I thought about how he pulled back when I touched him, like it hurt. Like the way I do when my sister grasps my arm, when she’s mad at me. Claire knows what I do. We have a deal, if I keep quiet, so does she.
I don’t know if I should trust James. He could be lieing, but he seemed to be telling the truth. Still, I probably should keep my mouth. But that’s never been my specialty.
The bell rings for the end of 3rd hour. I need to tell Sara what I heard, but I’d rather not get a 1st degree lecture on skipping class, or have her asking what I did all hour. Sara’s book smart, but she’s so naive when it comes to real life. The rest of the day feels like a dream. When the last bell finally rings I practically run out the door, avoiding Sara of course.
“Hey you, wait up.” Too late she saw me. “Your not mad that I can’t go with you are you?” she asks
“No, I can go by myself,” I manage to utter.
“Oh than I better go. See you later.” She snapps.
“Wait! Keith’s cheating on you.” I cry. Bad timing, everyone is looking at us.
“Who told you?” she can barely whisper “How did you find out?” She believes me. No. She already knew.
“A friend told me,” I say, “a friend of Keith’s. I’m sorry Sara.”
“You’re a liar Liz. You’re just mad I have someone who cares about me and you don’t!” She screams. It’s a low blow, especially for sweet little Sara.
“He obviously doesn’t give a damn about you or he wouldn’t be with James’s sister!” I couldn’t help it. She’s just putting on a show for her friend’s. She runs off crying. “Sara hold on, I didn’t mean…” Too late, I screwed up yet again.
I don’t go straight home like I’m supposed to. Mom won’t be home for another two hours anyway. When I do finally get home Claire’s gone, I didn’t want to go with her anyway. My computer says I have two new e-mails. I read the first, from Keith.
What the hell did you tell Sara lie to for it’s not like your really friends anymore so why should you care.
I don’t really know how to reply to that so it goes strait to the trash bin. The second is from an unknown address.
Its James I saw what happened with that one chick after school sry I got you involved it was my fault.
I have no idea how he got my e-mail but I reply this time.
I’m glad you said something someone had to and it wasn’t gonna be Keith it’s his fault.
The reply came almost as soon as I hit the send button.
Don’t forget my slutty sister lol.
I think that was the first time an actually laughed out loud at a message. There was something about James that I liked. I don’t know what, I only met him a few hours ago, but something made me know I could trust him. I get up to feed Bottle, our cat. Whenever he was a kitten he would stare and become fixated with the noises empty water bottles made when he’d chew on them. Now he just lies on the couch all day and dozes. It would be nice to be able to just sit around and nobody bother you no gossip, no math, no annoying teachers, just sleep eat and repeat.
I write a note for my mom that says I’m going to Sara’s, and that I‘ll be back in a few hours. I’m not of course; I’m going to see my old friend, in a manner of speaking. Cemeteries are depressing for obvious reasons, but it wouldn’t feel right if I just tried to forget Abby like Sara does. It’s a spot near the front, shaded by a small maple tree. I’m the only one here, other than Sara I doubt anyone else will come. Abby’s dad lives in New York, and her mom overdosed a few months back. Leaning against the trunk of the tree I think how lucky I am. Sure my parents hate each other and are to busy to notice that Claire and I even exist, but we do so were pretty lucky.
The sun is beginning to set as I start towards the house. But before I get there the way the sun reflects on the pond compels me to stop. I sit on the edge with my feet in the water, its bitter cold but relaxing. I lie on my back and gaze at the sky; the first stars are emerging into view. I still can’t watch them with the intensity Abby had, but I try to find their meaning anyway. As I lie there I realize just how small we are. Our whole planet is only a millionth of our sun, which isn’t even a whole fraction of the universe. While I contemplate our value in the galaxy I didn’t notice someone coming up behind me.
“Hey there girly,” the deep voice makes me jump. “Isn’t it a little late for you to be out here all by yourself?”
