I couldn’t tell you when it happened. Maybe it was when my parents decided they where going to “take a little break”. Maybe it was when my sister, Claire, started popping pain pills. But most likely it was April 17, last year. That day I went to school, 7:30 sharp, and texted Abby to get her ass over here so we could get to the library.
I’ve known Abby since 2nd grade. We’ve been best friends, along with Sara ever since. And every day we’d walk to school together, but when it rains she gets a ride from her drug addicted mom. That day it was pouring so after 5 minutes of getting soaked I ran to the bathroom to try and untangle my drenched black curls. I figured Abby must have gotten sick from standing outside all night staring at the stars. (Figures)
Abby was obsessed with space and whatever might lie beyond it. There’ve been times when I would stay over; I’d get up in the middle of the night to find her outside in shorts with no coat just staring up at the sky. When I’d go to ask her what the hell was so interesting about a bunch of specs all she would say is,
“Don’t you ever wonder what’s out there? Don’t you wonder if there’s a little alien girl staring at our star thinking ‘I wonder who’s looking back,’?”
As soon as I got to the library I knew something was wrong. Sara was gazing at her phone. Not pressing any keys, not even trying to hide it from the librarian, she had a no phone policy. What was even weirder is she saw her. The librarian was watching her, not saying a thing. The room felt heavy, and every second I stood there felt like an eternity. When ever something bad happened, I played the part of comic relief. It was the only way to fix things in my opinion, laugh it off. But with Sara being the upbeat, vigorous person she was, I knew a joke couldn’t cool this fire.
“Who died?” I said. I never thought that little sarcastic remark could make the temperature leap from 100 degrees to the melting point of diamonds. Sara burst into tears. I reached for the phone. What else could I do? I read the message on the screen. It was from her mom who only spoke to Sara when it was important. And even when it was she only texted her daughter because Sara still blamed her for the divorce.
From: Mom
Honey Abby’s mom called her step dad was drunk and they got in an argument she won’t be at school anymore
I didn’t understand at first. But when I got it, I never felt worse in my life. I didden’t cry at first it hadn’t sunken in yet. I couldn’t get it thru my head that my best friend Abby, was with all her little specks in the sky.
So here I am, in my 2nd hour English class, one year after my best friend was beat to death by her step dad. Sara knows it too; we’re going to the cemetery after school just like we did on her birthday. Things are really different now, between Sara and I. Abby was the glue that held us together. We were drifting apart; we never seemed to have the time for each other. She was always with her boyfriend, Keith, and I was always with my sister and her friends. I wasn’t into the whole drug scene but it was better that staying with my mom. I couldn’t risk her asking questions.
The bell finally rings and I go to find Sara
“Can you still go after school?” I ask. Now that she’s always busy with Keith I have to check on everything or she’ll forget.
“Actually I’m going later. I have piano after school, sorry.”
As much I want to tell her off I know it wouldn’t help. I opt for my usual stress reliever instead. You’d be surprised at what I can get away with in the school bathroom. And a Bobby-pin with the rubber part bitten off is all it takes to get through the day. While I’m sitting in the bathroom stall I realize, as I roll up my sleeve, that one year ago today, in this same bathroom the first scar on my arm was made. Back then I cried, but today its part of a routine. I realize I’ve been daydreaming when the bell rings for 3rd hour. (Shit) I hear the clicking of heels on the tile floor and whispered criticism as Amanda and her pack of close minded dogs depart. They follow at her heels waiting for a bone to be thrown. I once thought of letting her put a collar on me. That isn’t even an option now, I can still hear them whispering about me. She knows, I don’t know how or why she hasn’t said anything to Sara yet, but I don’t care. My arm is throbbing now; I glance and realize blood ran down my arm and onto my jeans.
“Perfect!” I can’t help but say out loud. I’ll have detention for yet again being late to math, so I don’t see a reason to hurry. I wash the Bobby-pin, put it back in my hair and scrub my jeans, but it’ll have to wait till I can wash them. The halls are so quiet during class; it’s a great time to think. I walk past the door and consider going out side, maybe go to the park and watch the ducks. But for some reason I keep going to my locker. When I get there I can’t find my book, O well what’s two days detention?
“Hey, it’s Liz right?” I look up and close the locker door.
“Yea,” Is all I think to say to the guy standing next to me. His hair is jet black and I can’t help but stare at his pierced lips, snakebites I think their called. “Yea I’m Liz why?”
“I’ve seen you around with that Sara chick. You friends with her?” he asked.
“Yea and she’s dating someone, sorry.” He seemed like the kind of guy who would like her. Like any guy with a pulse.
“Honestly,” he said “I’m not the least bit interested. But she should know Keith’s been with my sister for the last month. I figured someone should tell her.” he turned to walk away
“Wait!” I grab his arm and he winces back. ”What’s your name?”
“James.” he says rubbing his arm, “I have to go.”
I decide it’s a better idea just to wait till the bell rings than to go to class late. I go back to the bathroom and listen to my Ipod. I can stop thinking about James. His hair, the way he talked about Sara like just some random person, every other guy would marvel at her name. But mostly I thought about how he pulled back when I touched him, like it hurt. Like the way I do when my sister grasps my arm. Claire knows what I do. We have a deal, if I keep quiet, so does she.
The bell rings for the end of 3rd hour. I need to tell Sara what I heard, but I’d rather not get a 1st degree lecture on skipping class, or have her asking what I did all hour. Sara’s book smart, but she’s so naive when it comes to real life. The rest of the day feels like a dream. When the last bell finally rings I practically run out the door, avoiding Sara of course.
“Hey you, wait up.” Too late she saw me. “Your not mad that I can’t go with you are you?” she asks
“No, I can go by myself,” I manage to utter.
“Oh than I better go. See you later.”
“Wait! Keith’s cheating on you.” I cry. Bad timing, everyone is looking at us.
“Who told you?” she can barely whisper “How did you find out?” She believes me. No. She already knew.
“A friend told me,” I say, “a friend of Keith’s. I’m sorry Sara.”
“You’re a liar Liz. You’re just mad I have someone who cares about me and you don’t!” She screams. It’s a low blow, especially for sweet little Sara.
“He obviously doesn’t give a damn about you or he wouldn’t be with James’s sister!” I couldn’t help it. She’s just putting on a show for her friend’s. She runs off crying. “Sara wait, I didn’t mean…” Too late, I screwed up yet again.
I don’t go straight home like I’m supposed to. Mom won’t be home for another two hours anyway. When I do finally get home Claire’s gone, I didn’t want to go with her anyway. My computer says I have two new e-mails. I read the first, from Keith.
What the hell did you tell Sara lie to for it’s not like your really friends anymore so why should you care.
I don’t really know how to reply to that so it goes strait to the trash bin. The second is from an unknown address.
Its James I saw what happened with that one chick after school sorry I got you involved it was my fault.
I have no idea how he got my e-mail but I reply this time.
I’m glad you said something someone had to and it wasn’t gonna be Keith it’s his fault.
The reply came almost as soon as I hit the send button.
Don’t forget my slutty sister lol.
I think that was the first time an actually laughed out loud at a message. There was something about James that I liked. I don’t know what, I only met him a few hours ago, but something made me know I could trust him. I get up to feed Bottle, our cat. Whenever he was a kitten he would stare and become fixated with the noises empty water bottles made when he’d chew on them. Now he just lies on the couch all day and dozes. It would be nice to be able to just sit around and nobody bother you no gossip, no math, no annoying teachers, just sleep eat and repeat.
I write a note for my mom that says I’m going to Sara’s, and that I‘ll be back in a few hours. I’m not of course; I’m going to see my old friend, in a manner of speaking. Cemeteries are depressing for obvious reasons, but it wouldn’t feel right if I just tried to forget Abby like Sara does. It’s a spot near the front, shaded by a small maple tree. I’m the only one here, other than Sara I doubt anyone else will come. Abby’s dad lives in New York, and her mom overdosed a few months back. Leaning against the trunk of the tree I think how lucky I am. Sure my parents hate each other and are to busy to notice that Claire and I even exist, but we do so were pretty lucky.
The sun is beginning to set as I start towards the house. But before I get there the way the sun reflects on the pond compels me to stop. I sit on the edge with my feet in the water, its bitter cold but relaxing. I lie on my back and gaze at the sky; the first stars are emerging into view. I still can’t watch them with the intensity Abby had, but I try to find their meaning anyway. As I lie there I realize just how small we are. Our whole planet is only a millionth of our sun, which isn’t even a whole fraction of the universe. While I contemplate our value in the galaxy I didn’t notice someone coming up behind me.
“Hey there girly,” the deep voice makes me jump. “Isn’t it a little late for you to be out here all by yourself?”
“I-I-I was just heading home,” I managed to stutter as I jump to my feet. He shook his head.
“You shouldn’t be out in the dark by yourself let me take you home,” he gave me a creepy smile that made me want to puke, “there’s a lot of creeps out after dark.”
“Liz!” A voice called from behind me. “It’s time to get home.” James said now by my side, to the scum-man he added “Is there a problem here?”
“Not at all,” scum-man said smugly, “I was just telling girly here that it’s not safe out after dark. I better get going.”
“Come on.” James grabbed my hand and walked with me towards my house.
“Thanks for helping me out back there. How did you know where I was?” I didn’t mean to ask, but I did anyway.
“I didn’t,” he scowled as if he should have known “but you were lucky I was walking past.”
“I know that guy was a total creep.” I realized he was still clutching my hand.
“What’s funny is that’s what Keith’s gonna be like in twenty years,” I laugh like it’s the funniest thing ever said. When we get to my house I thank him again and ask if he wants to come inside.
“Na, I have to get back, I wasn’t actually supposed to leave in the first place.” he replies halfheartedly. When he finally released his grip on my hand I ran inside and up the stairs to my room. I reach in my bag find my book, and read. I guess while I was in flashback mode our English teacher assigned us to read chapters 12-14. I waited a half hour before slipping out the door and into Claire’s room.
“Hey Lizzy?” She snickers, “What’s the matter your razor cut to deep.” I roll my eyes; she says the same thing every time I need to talk to her. She’s high of course, on what God only knows”
“Never mind. But did mom notice I wasn’t here?’
“No the warden didn’t have time to make her rounds.” I hate when she does that, she never just answers the question. She sighed, “She had to work late, and you’re lucky I got here before first. School called, apparently you skipped math. Can’t blame ya. Mr. Lionel’s a total ass.”
“Thanks for covering,” I couldn’t have gotten any luckier.
“So who was that guy you were with,” She laughs, “Kinda cute. Mind if I steal him?” I just roll my eyes and try to leave, but she grabs me and jerks me back. “Wait, sorry. But seriously who was he?”
“Just a friend from school.” I can’t help but grin when I say it.
“Would he happen to be a friend of the boy variety?” she jokes.
“Not mine anyway.”
“To bad he’s totally your type. You know, all dark and depressing. You should like, ask him out.” she laughs, I don’t. I haven’t even thought about it believe it or not. I hardly know him, not that I would have a shot anyway. I finally escape when Claire passes out on the bed. I don’t know whose worse me or her, but I still think she’s the crazy one in the house. I glance up at the clock. Already 12:30!? I try to finish my English, but it is not gonna happen. I threw the book on the floor and dozed off.
The next day when I get to school James is no where to be found. Everyone is staring at me, because of yesterday for sure. They couldn’t know what I do could they? English is a major pain because we have to take a pop quiz on the book never actually read. By the time I get to science I’ve just about had it with this place, I’ve always hated school but today was like a never ending hell. And it only went downhill from there. At the beginning of the year Sara and I decided to be lab partners, and when she’s pissed, she stay’s that way.
“Hey,” I say as casually as possible.
“Is everyone staring at you too?” I’m actually glad she asks “They act like we killed each other or something, its crazy!”
“Yea people are like that, well the crazy part anyway.” We both laugh, the kind you do when you try to avoid an awkward silence, it doesn’t work.
“You know you were right about Keith. He’s a total prick, but I knew about that slut he’s seeing.” She says shattering the silence.
“That sucks. I kinda figured from the way you acted.” I say.
“Well you better get used to it Liz. All guys are like that, every last one of them. But some, of course, can be trained.” My mind goes straight to James. Would he be like that? Would he have to be trained? Was it even worth the time? Why am I even thinking about it? He’s not mine to train. Simply the thought saddened me. I finally snapped back when I realized Mrs. Johnson was asking me something.
“What?” I ask.
“What is the next step in the experiment? Honestly Liz, what are you going to do when we get into serious chemicals if you can’t even focus on this simple mixture?” She demands.
“Burn down the school.” Derek remarked. Everyone laughs, including Sara, I don’t blame her ‘because I’d have laughed if it wasn’t about me. Every one laughs, except Mrs. Johnson, she just scowled at us like we where a pile of moldy cheese.
“Derek don’t joke about such things, I won’t even consider bringing such dangerous things in this room. Now if you all can handle it pour 5 ounces of substance A into tube C and 3...” Her voice faded from my mind as quick as it appeared, and the thought of me burning down the school grabs my thoughts. I can hear Amanda now she’d say something like, ’Yea the emo chick like totally burnt my new Iphone. Yea I was all like seriously!? Are you fricken kidding me? I was all like, why don’t you just like go cry in the corner or whatever emo people do?’ First it’s important for visualization purposes that I say that in my mind Amanda was talking on the phone to someone, chewing gum and looking at her nails. It’s also important that I don’t consider my self to be emo. I just think that Amanda would say something like that and most people would.
After school I still haven’t been able to find James, so I just walk home. The second I opened the door I knew something was wrong. First clue had to be that Claire was vacuuming the living room, this is the same girl who’s to lazy to get up to change the channel when she loses the remote. Second would be that Mom’s in the kitchen. Ever since I was little Mom has only been home twice after school, the first time grandma died, the other was when Dad left.
“Lizzy could you untangle the cord? I think it’s caught on the couch.” I can barely hear her over the vacuum but I do as I’m told. I open my mouth to ask what the hell’s going on but she stops me. “Dad’s coming home and Mom’s going crazy. I think she’s still trying to hide the fact that their done with, end of story.” As much as I know it’s true I think they could fix things if they tried. Mom’s ok, but I’ve always been a daddy’s girl at heart. When ever he’s here everything’s nice, fake but nice, we go out to dinner, watch movies, and I feel like we’re one of those families in sitcoms on TV.
“Liz get off your ass and take the trash out!” Mom yells over the roaring of the vacuum “Your father’s coming over for dinner to night, and this place is a mess. Are you two really that lazy you can’t do a load of dishes once in a while?” I hear Claire muttering something under her breath as I slithered out the door.
Since I wasn’t in any hurry to jump back into the fire, I sat on the curb. I heard steps coming towards me on the grass, I was gonna get yelled at no matter what so what was the point in looking behind me. I felt someone’s presence besides me but I don’t get the first degree about being a lazy slob. No what I get is sticky and rough. I finally decide something’s not right and look up, sure enough it’s not my mom standing next to me, but a dog.
It’s a pit bull, white and creamy brown. Its tail is docked and the fur is full of stickers, probably fleas too. But the first thing I notice is its face, covered in scars, but it sure doesn’t act viscous. I reach out to stroke the matted fur but the dog steps back. I put my hand down, no reason to tempt him. He’s so skinny, and the tip of his ear is torn. I look into the dog’s eyes and I feel as if I know every detail of his life. Born into a fighting ring, his owner probably tried to make him fight by putting a bigger, tougher dog against him, thus the scars. But it wasn’t the dog’s nature, so his owner didn’t feed him enough, finally he gave up on the dog and dumped him on the street. I didn’t now jack about dog fighting or the methods, but somehow I knew this dog. I could in a way relate, although my scars I caused myself, they felt the same.
“Its ok puppy,” I slide over a little closer “see I won’t hurt you.” He walks up to me slowly. First he sniffs it, then nuzzles my sleeve. When he starts chewing on it I roll them both up. I pat his head, stickers and all, “See? We’re the same.”
He’s still wary of me when I get up to go inside, than I realize I’m not capable of leaving this poor dog out here, and I can’t bring him in the house. I remember the shed out back, no ones been out there since Dad left.
“Come here puppy,” I call to him. I don’t know who I’m trying to convince, this dog is huge, definitely no puppy. “Come on Sam.” Sam, where did that come from? It works though, he whines, but he follows me to the back yard. When I open the shed I hear mom calling me to come inside. I hurry and find the extra cat food we keep in here in case we run out. I scoop about a cup of dry food and three cans of cat food onto an plastic bag from Wal-Mart. Sam doesn’t seem to care, he gulps it down like there was only one bites worth. My name is hanging in the air when I get back inside.
“Liz what the hell took you so long?” My mom snaps when I walk in the back door.
“I thought I heard someone in the back, and when I went to check it out I tripped on the driveway and scraped my knee.” I barked back.
“Well if you’re not going to do anything useful why don’t you just go do your homework or something. Just stay out of the way.” I go have to go through the kitchen to get up to my room anyway, but since Mom was in the living room I grabbed a package of hotdogs out of the fridge and put them in my jacket pocket for Sam.
“What are you doing Lizzy?” I hear Claire call to me when I get to the top of the staircase.
“Um...my knee hurts really bad, I just wanted something cold on it.” I don’t have to lie to her, it just comes natural.
“Yea,” she laughs, “you of all people can’t handle a little pain. Whatever Liz just don’t do something stupid.” I want to tell her just how stupid she is, but I hear steps coming toward the kitchen. I hurry to my room and put the hotdogs in my desk drawer when I hear a knocking on my window. My room is right over the back porch, which has an open roof. I pull back the curtains and James is sitting on the awning. I open the window having no idea how he got up there.
“Hey Liz,” he says “what’s up?”
“Nothing.” I say flatly, “How the hell did you get up here?”
“I’m a good climber. Was that your dog you where out front with earlier.”
“Not really, he just kinda found me.” I say. I realize if James saw me with Sam, he probably saw my arm too.
“Can we go see him? I mean, if he’s still around here somewhere.” James asks.
“Sure, but I’ll have to sneak past my mom.”
“Just come out the window.” I hesitate, “Come on it’s easy.” I grab the hotdogs from the drawer and crawl out the window. I throw them to the ground and James grabs my hand,
“Ok put your foot here and grab on to that post” I try to do exactly what he tells me, but I get my foot stuck on some wires about five feet from the ground
“We have a problem,” I say quietly.
“Hold on,” He laughs, and jumps from the awning to the ground with a thud. “Just kick off your shoe and jump backwards. Don’t worry I’ll catch you.” I don’t wanna do it, but I don’t have a wide variety of options. I know one thing for sure; James did not get on the roof this way. “Ok, jump.” I jumped and land on top of James, our faces are less than three inches apart. I gaze at his deep blue eyes. He runs his hand over the back of my hair, and leans in what little he can, when the back door clicks, someone’s unlocking it. I bolt up on instinct and James sit’s up, Claire opens the door and laughs.
“It’s nothing Mom, just some stray cats up on the roof.” She calls over her shoulder, and closes the door.
“Was that your sister?” He asks grinning after a long silence.
“Yea,” I mutter, “come on lets go see Sam.” I sigh and pick up the package of hotdogs. When I unlock the shed Sam is laying on the concrete floor, I’ll have to get a blanket for him later, but for now I give him one of the hotdogs and stash the rest.
“He’s a fighter for sure.” James says as he closes the door behind him. I doubted that this dog was even capable of standing for more than five minutes, let alone fight another dog. “Unless he was the bait of course,” he added seeing the doubt in my eyes, “that’s the only way he could have gotten those.” I smile because I know that’s not the only way, well maybe it is for a dog.
The whole time Sam is watching me, not even glancing at James. Sam stumbles over to where I’m standing and starts pulling on the sleeve of my jacket, almost if he had heard my thoughts.
“Come on Sam, cut it out.” I plead. But he doesn’t listen, instead he growls as I try to pull to pull away. “Sam stop!”
“Sam sit,” James commands, and for the first time Sam looks at him and sits down. I’m not very surprised when I see James slip Sam a piece of a hotdog. “Lie down.” he commands, and once again the dog obeys, this time his only reward is a few strokes of the head.
“Thanks. I don’t know what got into him, he wasn’t like that earlier.”
“I know,” he doesn’t even look at me, “I was watching him when he came up to you in the yard.” There’s sadness in his voice, is almost sounds like grief. He’s still watching Sam, I try not to think much of it but I do, something’s not right.
“I didn’t see you out there,” I try to sound calm but inside I’m panicking. He’s the only person whose opinion matters to me, I don’t know why but I don’t want him to think I’m some sort of goth freak. “You should have said something.” I force myself to laugh when I say it.
“Na, climbing on the roof sounded like more fun.” We both laugh. “I have to go,” he holds me close and whispers so low that I can barely hear him “just so you know, I don’t think you’re a freak.”
After James left I had to find a way back up to the window, my stupid sister locked the door. It took twenty minutes, some trashcans, and a few bruises but I eventfully managed to crawl through. I hadn’t been in the room a whole second before Claire burst in the door.
“What?” I ask, I hope I can avoid talking about James.
“How’d you get up here, I was waiting by the door for you?” I just pointed to the window, no need to get into detail.
“Why did you need me? Aren’t you supposed to be helping Mom get ready for dinner?” I growl. I shouldn’t be mad at her but I am. James was gonna kiss me, and she screwed it up.
“Well while you were climbing roofs, and making out with your faggy boyfriend, Mom burnt the food and went for takeout. Maybe I wont bail your ass out next time.” She storms off slams the door hard enough to rattle the windows. I wish she hadn’t left so I could have punched her face in. Ok I wouldn’t have done it, but I can dream cant I?
I lie on the floor facing the textured ceiling, Abby and I would spend hours trying to find shapes. It used to be fun, but I can’t find a thing anymore.
“Hey brat!” Claire calls from down the hall after about ten minutes, “Dad can’t come, he has to fill in at work. You get to call and tell Mom.” I didn’t want to test my luck a second time, so I picked up my cell and dialed Mom’s number. She yelled, but said it wasn’t my fault. (like I didn’t know that!) I’m kinda glad that Dad can’t make it, I don’t want to deal with the drama. Claire doesn’t think she should listen to him. To her, he’s not her dad. She has a good point, we go to school one day and when we get home he’s just gone. He did call that night but it wasn’t right, he should have talked to us face to face. Mom never said a word to us about him, so we had to fill in the blanks with what little we knew. Money was missing, Mom thought Dad was spending it on hookers because he was out late for work a lot, but Claire hacked his e-mail. Apparently he had a huge debt playing online poker, but it she didn’t say a word.
In her mind, and kinda mine too, if Dad left than Mom would have to work more hours, and there’d be no one to catch us doing anything we weren’t supposed to. I miss dad being here everyday, but no one bugging me about what’s going on in my life is a major bonus. Plus since he feels bad that he’s not around, when he is we get a lot more, every other Saturday is Christmas in our house.
The sound of my phone ringing made me jump, Sara’s name lights up on the screen. I don’t want her to think I’m mad at her, but I let it go to voice mail anyway. I don’t want to talk about Keith, school, or the cute new bracelets that she bought, those are our major discussion topics. Well hers anyway, I usually space out and mess with the loose strings in the furniture , adding the occasional “that’s nice,” “I wish I could do that,” or “that sucks,” to the conversation. Sara has a shit load of bracelets, she always has at lest ten on either arm, its weird and kinda funny, well I think so but she doesn’t.
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I see what it’s about.
New text message from: Sara
hey drove past your house a while ago ur mom was home. R u ok?
I tell her that I’m fine, but my moms her usual craziness. After a few minutes of no reply I throw the phone across the room to the couch. I flip on the TV. and skim trough the channels hoping something will catch my interest, nothing does, no real surprise.
The front door slams shut and Mom walks into the room with her hands full of bags.
“Need some help?” I offer.
“That worthless piece ’o crap excuse of a dad of yours! Who the hell does he think he is telling us he’s coming with basically no notice, and then cancels last minute?” she rants.
“Nice to see you too,” I mumble half hoping she hears me. But if she does I can’t tell.
“And yes I could use some help. Start with taking these to the table, then go get your sister.” She hands me all but one of the bags and sits on the couch. I don’t hate my mom, but if I had my choice she’d be a totally different person. Of course if she had her way it would be the same story, I guess it’s a classic case of the grass is always greener syndrome.
I guess Claire’s over being pissed at me since when I walked through the door nothing smashed on the wall next to me. Still, I keep my eyes on the carpet.
“Hey, the food’s here,” I tell her.
“You think I’m a horrible person don’t you?” Her voice is shaky. At first I didn’t think she was talking to me, but when I look up Claire’s staring at me. Her eyes are red and her cheeks shine with tears. I don’t answer, because no matter what I say, it won’t be the answer she was looking for. “You do don’t you? You hate me just like everyone else?”
“I don’t hate you,” I say, “Why would you think I hate you?”
“It’s all my fault. Mom and Dad aren’t together because of me. I knew where the money was really going, and I didn’t say anything. And its my fault that…” She wouldn’t go on.
“That’s not your fault. It’s Dad’s, you cant blame yourself for that. Besides even if you had said something, they were screwed way before then. Just go get whatever Mom brought and get over it.” I didn’t wait for her to do anything or yell to stop ordering her around. Instead I grabbed my food, Chinese apparently, and tried to do my English homework.
Why was homework ever invented? I mean most people don’t even glance at it till the next morning in study hall. Why don’t they just give it to us then?
I started wondering what would have happened if Claire hadn’t interrupted. Probably nothing. I try to shake the thoughts off, but I cant stop thinking what James might have done. I haven’t had many real boyfriends, Sara’s the one who does that. I’ve always been kind of jealous of her, but considering the thing with Keith happens a lot with her, I guess beauty has its price. The stereo kicks on and 21 Guns by Green Day is playing. Did I set the alarm? I must have since its never done that before.
I leave the album on to play and pick up my note book. I doodle for what seems like hours and pass out. In my dream I see Abby and I, around age 7, in a yard I recognize. We’re dressing up her Saint Bernard puppy in baby clothes.
“Come on Max.” Abby calls. Max doesn’t move.
“I’m telling you guys, his booties are to small.” I hear Sara say as she walks out of the house. “Those huge paws of his are gonna burst out of those things.”
“Fine, just take off the booties and…”
“Abigail Lee didn’t I tell you that you could not go outside until your room was clean?” Abby’s mom screamed from the back door. “And why in God’s name are you putting your cousin’s clothes on that filthy mutt?” She was walking over to us.
“I-I-I um… I forgot,” Abby stammered. Abby’s mom slapped her so hard the sound made my ears ring.
“Next time you’ll remember won’t you?” She yelled. I could tell Abby was trying really hard not to cry, but where she hit her was beet red. She didn’t answer. “I asked you a question,” she hit her again. “Will you or will you not do what I tell you from now on?”
“Leave her alone!” Sara cried. She had a lot more courage than me. I was just trying to get the clothes off Max.
“What did you say to me Sally?” She stared intently at Sara. She never did get her name right.
“I said leave her alone.” Sara said holding her stare “Grown ups aren’t allowed to hit their kids, Mommy said so.”
“You both better leave right now.” She told us. I glanced at Abby, she gave me a pleading look, but motioned for us to go. We ran down the sidewalk until we were at Sara’s house. We whispered bye to each other, but nothing more.
The next day at school we said nothing about the day before and we never again played at Abby’s house.
