To The Late

You and I walked
Down dusty sidewalks.
It wasn't romantic.
I valued your opinions too much.

We talked about poetry.
You liked deep meaning,
Or at least vague obfuscations.
I like no meaning.
You can see anything
In nothing.

Every time I contemplate
Giving this to you
I am afraid
That you wiill see
Not only what I mean
But what I do not mean.

I shall give this to a worm
And hope he finds you.

Hi there! Bond here to review!

I must say I enjoyed this poem a lot. It's a little cheesy, but the girl in me loves it. The only thing I thought was odd was this.

I shall give this to a worm
And hope he finds you.

Why to a worm? Why not to something pretty like a butterfly? Eww...now I've out girled myself...I'm going to go and do something ungirly...

Good job, whoever you plan on giving it to, I'm sure will love .

~Hope

The worm bit is supposed to be a reference to the play "Eurydice" by Sarah Ruhl. It is what Orpheus says/writes when he addresses a letter to Eurydice (who is at this point dead).

It's supposed to imply that the recipient of the poem is dead.

Hiya! Classy here

Yah I'm confused about the worm part. For people who have never read the play, it makes no sense and just seems weird. But, don't change it, because it's cool. I just wish I could've gotten the reference.

So the only bad thing I have to say about this is that it's very choppy. You have a lot of short, blunt sentences. Lengthen them, add more poetic imagery and metaphors, similes, all that good stuff. Right now, it's a very average poem with a lot of very short lines. It doesn't flow well, and really has nothing that stands out above the rest.

What I like is that I can see the story unfolding inside of the poem. I can see the couple walking and being lovey and happy, then it taking a bad turn. I really like how I can picture it. It looks like a movie in my mind. So good job on that!

Keep writing,

Classy

There is something classically 'direct' and nonchalant about this; as if you're speaking to us, but couldn't give a damn what we think. I liked this obvious tone, this sense of wit and insight made rather clear for us.

You and I walked
Down dusty sidewalks.
It wasn't romantic.
I valued your opinions too much.

'You and I' immediately makes me think of a couple and 'dusty sidewalks' is a description which somehow conretes that by making it more fluid, if you get what I mean (it flows better). But the short lines have a listless feeling to them; snap, go, snap, go, snap, go - as if it really doesn't matter what you're saying. Almost drags on too much. But the 'it wasn't romantic' was FABULOUS and even better was the 'I valued your opinions too much' - as if that, in any way, is a reason for the lack of romance! Clever.

We talked about poetry.
You liked deep meaning,
Or at least vague obfuscations.
I like no meaning.
You can see anything
In nothing.

Every time I contemplate
Giving this to you
I am afraid
That you will see
Not only what I mean
But what I do not mean.

This bit just didn't do it for me. It was grey and slow and pointed but with little effect. A little more description would be nice, instead of the literal statements that I said I liked in the first stanza. The thing is - they are your tool - so do NOT overuse them; keep us begging for them, distract us from them but leave them niggling on our minds. I didn't like the mention of 'poetry' within a poem - but that's a personal preference. 'Deep meaning' sounds clear, while 'vague obfuscations' does not - and these contradict each other - why does the partner of the narrator like both? I liked the idea behind the third stanza - the fact that we read too much into poems and see both what the writer intended and what they did not - but I felt you did it no justice with the way it was written. It was so grey that I skimmed all over it the first time round - definitely, imagery is your key here to concrete it a bit more.

Yeah, okay, worms are weird, but I won't harp on about it - buit I'd like to ask how it ties into the theme of the poem? As in, the theme being of intellect, of finding meanings that don't exist etc - what does killing off a character actually add to the poem?