A Twisted Tail *Entry 1*

The Beginning

LUCY~

It felt like a dream, was a dream, stepping into this place for the first time in ages. A place I hadn't been allowed into for such a long time. It felt so good, seeing it, like a part of my soul had been awakened again, but I knew it had to end at sometime. Everything does, especially dreams. The Place was as new as the first day I had been let in on the secret. But that didn't matter, it was still gone from me, and it wasn't coming back. I didn't have the power to bring it back.

BRIANNA~

I could feel it coming on again. It hadn't for such a long time I had wondered for awhile if it had faded from my system at last, like a disease. But no it wasn't a medical condition. And I wasn't sick. I was just a freak of nature. My body shook in anticipation. As long as it was fast. When I had thought I would never experience it again, that I was just normal. I remember the appalling feeling of dread and wariness. I didn't want to be normal did I? No, I wanted to be just like dad and momma. A good girl for them.

SHELIA~

It felt weird to sit under the night sky practicing my art. An old rusty book lay in front of me. A book that had led to disasters and pain, but triumph. It felt go to remember the familiar feeling I had promised myself to have every day. The feeling of power over myself and others. My eyes felt hot, my voice beautiful and enchanting. This was the real meaning of power.

MAYBELLA~

Skulking the alleys at night, like a common thug. It felt so horrible to look for someone who didn't value their life enough for her to pass them by. I was a common thug, no worse than one. A criminal with nothing common about them. How much did I wish to go back to what I had, but there was no chance of it. Just make the best the the burden. Just make the best.

The Plan.

LUCY~

As I shook sleep from my eyes I realized what I had really hoped was reality was a dream. Hurt and disappointment dredged itself into my heart. Why did The Place have to take away everything then insist on taunting me, taking away the life it had doomed me to.

No matter, I had to continue on with my life. Even though my mother thought me a horrible failure and disgracement to her. Just wanting to eliminate me from the family tree.

In a hurry I got took a shower and got dressed, getting myself a hash brown patty for breakfast. I stopped my rush as I brushed my teeth looking at myself in the mirror. The stringy blond hair with light brown highlights. The weird blue-in-the-middle green-on-the outside-eyes. The gaunt face, the not-so-full body.

How much did I wish I could be someone else. Someone with looks, with style with grace, with power. Someone who could go to the Place. There was no need to dream, I could just live my life as it was now. Back to my rush, I ran out of my family's house.

Wait, there on the doorstep was a manila envelope. My name was on it. I opened it.



Why did this make me feel like I was special. Like I was wanted? Because you are; stupid! Yeah right, tell that to my mom. On the back of the letter was an address, a date, but mysteriously no phone number. Whatever. My brain told me just crumple it up and throw it away so no one could see it.

But I found I didn't want to. Why throw away a chance to be wanted? To be part of the in-crowd. I shook my head, that couldn't happen. All the same, I stuffed the letter in my laptop case and took off.

BRIANNA~

I shook my body. It was such a wondrous feeling, the morning after The Change. The feeling of new and freshness, even though I was as far from that as possible. After I'd reverted back to my human form, I'd crashed in an alley, mom and dad would be worried, but not too much. They meant well, but with six kids one could only get so much attention.

Whatever, that didn't matter. I got up, and after shaking the dust off my garments, which I'd stumbled into after I'd gotten back, and began the long trudge home.

Soon my feet were tired and I longed for the speed and power of last night, no, I would have to suffer like every other human being. As I arrived at my too-small-for-all-of-us house, my situation sunk in.

It was 9:30, (Saturday so I wouldn't get my butt whooped for not going to school) and I was out all night. I had a job to go to, so it didn't really look good for me. I was just on the doorstep when a manila envelope caught my eye. It had my name on it! Of course I would read it. I opened it in a second and read what it contained:



An "exclusive club"! "Popular"! "Chosen"! "Fit right in"! I wanted to giggle in excitement!

Someone had chosen me out of a group of girls and said I was better! I wanted to leap for joy, but settled for stuffing the letter, address, and date into my pocket, couldn't get that taken away! It took all I could not to click my heels together as I walked inside, that would be suspicious.

SHELIA~

After a day of shopping and a night of practicing My Art, my mom shook my awake. Well not my real mom, my pronounced mother Flora who always was ready to take care of me. My real mom was anything but. She resides in her office all day and probably didn't even know I hadn't been home. No worries, at least I didn't get in trouble.

"Ms. Shelia! Someones at the door for you." I cringed, I knew who it was before I could even think. Mark. Great, another love sick puppy, and for me! I didn't crave affection that much anymore. I had half-a-mind (which Flora reminds me is a lot) to just lie in bed and pretend to fall asleep.

"Ms. Shelia, wake up!" I guess that didn't work. I stirred and swatted her off me. Flora had great brown hair and brown eyes. Nothing special about her. Not like me. I was special, but she needn't know about that now.

"What do you want Brigid?" I asked, aggravated. I loved to call her Brigid, it made her mad, and hurry to correct me. Which is the only time she'll correct me. It was also a laugh to see the blush creep up her porcelain skin.

"Shelia! I'm old Flora! Now call me by right name!" I feigned sleepiness, rubbing my eyes.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't see you right there Bri-Flora. Sorry." I felt like bursting into peals of laughter, but didn't. Flora squinted at me, as if determining whether to reprimand me or laugh. But she doesn't laugh much, she just sighs.

"Get dressed Ms. Your company is waiting." And with that, she leaves. What a lame end. And I thought I could have gotten something. When the door was shut, I climbed out of bed. Showering then getting dressed. I looked at myself in the mirror. Dark curls laying on my shoulders then flowing down my back. The tanned complexion and nice nose. My purple entrancing eyes, one of my best features. The only flawed thing, according to me, were my too big lips.

Who cared? I hopped down the stairs and walked to the front of my house. The house was big, like super big. A mansion on the good side of town. Everything thing was stylish and modern. My mom had hired a decorator. Not like I hung around here that much.

The couches were handmade from France and leather. The living room (not that there was much living in it) had paintings that my mom had gotten at an auction. Some were nice, I admit it, but I shunned most things having to do with mom. There was a glass see-through table that lay in the center of the room. Soft suede tan couches matched the white carpet. The walls were a plain white with no marks at all.

This wasn't my concern, I hurried to the door and opened it. Mark was there like I knew he would be. I had made it to be so. His blond hair hung in clumps that were unruly and sweat-sticky. His blue (contacts) eyes were out of focused and some-what crazed. The clothes he wore looked dirty and slept-in.

That was the goal. To make him crazed. Mark was the most popular boy in school. I was his steady rival. Ever since I had broke up with him in front of the whole school his only purpose was to get back at me.

Which was all good and well as far as I was concerned. Lately though, his attacks had started to hurt my best friend Melanie. Not me. I was too stubborn for that. So I decided to drive him crazy with love for me. He was, instead of on a date with snotty Isabella, (also a nuisance I wished to rid the world of) at my doorstep.

"Yes Mark?" I didn't have time for this. Hmm...There was a package on the doorstep with my name on it. Interesting. Before he could answer I picked it up. It looked so much more exciting than playing with Mark. I'd get rid of him.

Slowly, I turned to face Mark. He was saying something, but I blocked it out. Instead I concentrated on my eyes. My purple eyes. I focused on them, picturing them swirling, enticing and drawing all the attention. My eyes started to feel hot and a shiver went through my body. Mark looked glassy eyed at me. Mission complete.

"Mark. You will pick up a girl on the street and go to your date with Isabella. You will pretend to have forgotten about her, and will leave abruptly after." I said. I loved the way my voice sounded commanding, the way Mark nodded as I spoke. I felt filled with helium.

When my commands were done, I shook my trance off and slammed the door in Mark's face. He was already clomping off my doorstep. I opened the letter:



Not bad. they seemed a happy bunch, but smart. A "popular" and "exclusive" club. Well they sure knew how to flatter someone. But I needed to be impressed. They seemed the type not to let some unsettling people in, though. I considered it. It's just a Masquerade Ball, it could be fun. I found a date, address,and time on the back. Maybe I would go. Maybe. I felt a smirk pulling at the corners of my mouth.

MAYBELLA~

I shook my head. That had been a restless night. Cringing, I saw the face starring at me. A Hobo, (though I couldn't say that I wasn't, just a better looking one) was looking at me with frightened eyes. I knew why.

I was wearing the red cocktail dress that I was Changed in. The neckline was drenched with blood, (mine). The rest had...others'. My face was pale, and probably a little wrinkled. It was always like that when I woke up. I looked...dead when I slept. Then I came back to life and was "normal" looking by nine.

That didn't stop me from hiding my face though. My face, my body, they used to be so normal. I used to be just a brunette with brown eyes. Totally normal. Nothing special. I had went to that cocktail party on a dare...and yet fate wasn't merciful.

Now I had brilliant silver hair and dark red eyes. My complexion was pale, and people couldn't look away from me for long. And I was a--no, there were more optomistic things to think about.

I strolled from the alley with the man's (or woman's I couldn't tell) eyes tracking me. When I reached the sunshine, I realized that I was in front of a club. That was perfect. I could hole up in there for awhile and then...I didn't know. I walked towards the club, but stepped on something crinkly. A manila envelope. Interesting, it had my name on it. I opened it:



I stared at the page. A "hospitable" club that knew were I had slept. Maybe they wanted to help me! Or they know what you are. My thoughts whispered. No. No one could know what I was. What I had become. I didn't really know what myself. But it said "a world of opportunities!" I could have options. Something I was at a lack of at the moment.

What if...I wanted to hope that I could find help here. That they wouldn't harm me or call me crazy if I told them. You'll only know if you find out Maybella. That's right. I remembered the saying my mom would tell me often. If she only knew...

It was a Masquerade Ball. They might think it all a costume! I turned the letter over to find a date, address, and time.

With a new found hope I walked into the club where I would hole up. Until it was time.

I grinned, and felt the tips of my fangs brush my lips.

END OF FIRST ENTRY.

Hey how's it going?
I found this story really interesting although there is a few grammatical errors. For instance, disgracement is not a word - the word is just disgrace.

Kammara14Mariyln wrote:Skulking the alleys at night, like a common thug. It felt so horrible to look for someone who didn't value their life enough for her to pass them by. I was a common thug, no worse than one. A criminal with nothing common about them. How much did I wish to go back to what I had, but there was no chance of it. Just make the best the the burden. Just make the best.

This bit is very hard to understand, I think because of the grammar. You really need to go over it or get a friend to go over it to make sure it all makes sense.

Kammara14Mariyln wrote:My name was on it. I opened it.

Try to avoid short sentences like this. Maybe so "My name was on it, so I opened it" instead.

Kammara14Mariyln wrote:(Who ever that was)

Unbold this bit as it is Lucy's thoughts and not part of the letter.

Kammara14Mariyln wrote:couldn't happen

try "was impossible" to make it seem more dramatic. You could do that with a lot of words. Try finding a thesauraus and use more interesting words wherever you can, but don't go overboard with flowery language. You haven't done that so far which is good, I hate stories that go on and on with unnessacary descriptions.

All I have left to say is wow! It is really intriguing and I can't wait to find out what happens next!
Good Luck xoxo