Fully alive. (An acrostic based on the song 'Fully Alive')

Falling into a dark abyss,
Ugly thoughts run through your mind.
Light left you a millenia ago,
Lost its purpose entirely.
You know what's coming next, of course.

Anything could be real in this hole,
Lucifer, unicorns, magic; all supposed myths.
If you survive, what can you do? A
Vast ocean could be waiting for you at the bottom.
Even though you could die at any moment, right now you're fully alive.

I really like this, good poem

Biffle1 wrote:Falling into a dark abyss,
Ugly thoughts run through your mind. ugly? I know it fits in well with the acrostic but I'm not so sure about this word, my own personal opinion though
Light left you a millenia ago,I like that
Lost its purpose entirely.
You know what's coming next, of course.

Anything could be real in this hole,
Lucifer, unicorns, magic; all supposed myths.
If you survive, what can you do? A
Vast ocean could be waiting for you at the bottom.i think this might sound better if you were to say- 'if you were to survive, what could you do? Vast oceans waiting for you at the bottom
Even though you could die at any moment, right now you're fully alive.like this too

on the whole it's very good, well thought out

At first I wasn't sure what I thought of this poem until I reached the second stanza. The last line made it make perfect sense. The only problem I had with this poem was the movement of the first stanza. You start with "falling" as your verb, and in the next sentence you use the less-active "run." Okay, okay, "run" is active, but the word running seems more active, imagery-wise.

So I'd say go for:

Falling into a dark abyss,
Ugly thoughts running through your mind.

Overall, very nice. Each time I read it I find these new messages hidden between the lines and woven between the words, and it's not even a long poem. You deserve a pat on the back for this one.

-Shina