Silly Little Cat

Silly Little Cat

Silly little cat,
Wond’ring where you’re at.
Can’t you see—
You’re over me!

You’re in a little hammock.
It’s got you in a panic.
But can’t you see—
How wonderful flying can be!

Silly little cat,
Wond’ring where you’re at.
Can you not tell?
You’ve leapt over a bell!

You grew wings overnight,
And now you think you might
Give us all a fright
So you can laugh in delight.

Silly little cat,
I wonder where you’re at.
You’ve up and disappeared—
Oh! You’re right here.

----------------------

So, pretty self-explanatory. This is just a random little piece I wrote up forever ago, thanks to my then-kitten as inspiration. I swear, she is adooooorable (even all grown up )...even when she's wrapped up in a makeshift hammock and giving me the evil eye. xP

Critiques and suggestions as to rhyming, etcetera are greatly welcomed, as I don't often write poetry and what poetry I do usually doesn't rhyme or is otherwise very non-flowing. O.o

Well, this certainly made me laugh - I was just briefly going through the forums and simply HAD to read something with a title like that. I understand that you wrote this some time ago - I still think that it retains a certain...cute flavour. I don't think the rhying needs too much working on - I'd say you have a pretty good ear for that - but just a quick note on the lines: your lines are quite short, and, couple with the rhyme at the end of each, it disprupts the flow. I don't know if this is the effect you were going for - it has quite a leapfrog effect, actually. Kind of like a sweet little kid is saying the poem aloud - so well done for bringing that out. Rhythm works for the most part quite well, too.

Why thank you! It's good to know I made someone smile with this, hehe. ^_^ I suppose that is what I was going for (the leapfrog effect), but I never really "set out" to write this. It just happened, and yes, it is very much like a nursery rhyme some little kid might chant (after all, growing up is an option ;P).

Thank you for the input! *hugz*
~Glad

Lol. I can see this as a children's book. Little children would adore it. The pictures would be so cute.

You grew wings overnight,
and now you think you might
give us all a fright
so you can laugh in delight.

Silly little cat,
I wonder where you’re at.
You’ve (gone?) up and disappeared—
Oh! You’re right here.

-Crescent

Yeah, I agree with everyone else. You wrote it when you were younger, and so now that you're older, It is even cuter. I don't really get some of it, though...

Can’t you see—
You’re over me!

I don't know if the grammar is correct there...when I first read it I didn't get it.

Wond’ring where you’re at.

i think that you could have done just fine with "wondering" instead of "wond'ring".

But otherwise, great, funny poem!

Bluey

Thank you for the reviews!

You’ve (gone?) up and disappeared—

Wond’ring where you’re at.

i think that you could have done just fine with "wondering" instead of "wond'ring".

In both cases, I used the wording I did because I was trying to keep a certain meter. Is it OK how it is, meter-wise?

I thought this was cute. It almost reminds me a lot of Macavity: The Mystery Cat, by T.S. Elliot, which you may or may not be aware of, is the inspiration of CATS: The Musical. FUN FACT! Anyway, some of your beat is off-time such as this line:

You’ve up and disappeared—
Oh! You’re right here.

Compared to the first part of this sentence, 'Oh! You're right here,' seems very short to me. Try reading your words aloud when you finish, make sure everything sounds good. Sound good? Hahaha. Puns. Anyway, nice job. Here's a GOLD STAR! Keep writing.